Jokes - Child Friendly Ones!!

[Twinkie]

DD has decided that she is going to start telling us jokes - thing is only one she knows is wearing a bit thin (Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!!!) does anyone know any jokes that I can tell her to expand her repetoire?? (DP and I are doing a great job of belly laughing but inside we have had enough!!)

frenchgirl - centipede is right! I forget words in Spanish and English too.

Muchas gracias guapa!
Do you find yourself using spanish expressions translated literally into english without even realising? And all your friends and relatives in the UK think you've gone gaga??? Happens to me all the time in French, sooo frustrating

And I forget words just in English - it's surprisingly easy!

Oldiemum, that's Groucho Marx, isn't it?

My DS1 (6 years old) is mad about knock,knock jokes. I think it's the interactive aspect of them. Current favourites -

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Dwain.
Dwain who?
Dwain the bath! I'm dwowning!

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad to see me?

Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling well...

A man cuts off the bottom of his trousers and runs into a library and hands it over. The librarian says "well, that's a turn up for the books."

A man is standing in the street and his anorak is dancing and people are throwing money into the hood. I go and ask him what's going on. "Oh, it's my livelihood"

And the non-child friendly ones:

A man strips off and covers himself in clingfilm. His wife is concerned and takes him to the doctor. The doctor says "Hmm, I can clearly see you're nuts."

A man is walking down the street with a steering wheel attached to his flies. I say "did you know you had a steering wheel attached to your flies?" He said "yes, it's driving me nuts."

What do you do with a wombat?

Play Wom.

Who was the world's first underwater spy?
James Pond

Janh - I think so, as are:

"I've never been so insulted in all my life"-
"- It's only 8 o'clock."

And

"I didn't come here to be insulted"
"- Where d'ya usually go?"

Resurrecting.

Is she too little for:

What do you call a wizard in a spaceship?

A flying sorcerer