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Original poster

Things they say

53 replies

carla · 18/04/2004 15:05

I know there's another thread on this somewhere, but I'll be so sad when dd2 stops asking for her 'crap book. Likewise when dd1 wanted to '(f)uck her dummy.

OP posts:
Browbeaten · 19/04/2004 13:58

LOL

Chinchilla · 19/04/2004 20:31

Collision

My ds is always saying, 'Oh my Goh!' when something amazes him. He must have got it from me, but I can't remember saying it! Pizza Hut is 'Peepee Huh'!

twiglett · 19/04/2004 20:37

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Grommit · 19/04/2004 20:41

today in phone shop while being served by overweight assistant - " Mummy why is that man so fat? How did he get so fat?", in cafe - " Mummy why has that man no hair - did it hurt when it fell out", in shop - " Mummy why has that lady got brown skin?" CRINGE

Grommit · 19/04/2004 20:42

just remembered another onw- when dd what about 2 she could not pronounce clock (left out the L) so you can imagine how she referred to Daddy's clock...

Paula71 · 19/04/2004 23:34

Another of the "things they do" ....

On Sunday night bath-time, ds twins were enjoying a splash around when ds twin1 took ds twin2's green boat from him. BIG mistake, ds twin2 is not to be messed with.

With an evil look in his eye he reaches under the water and give ds twin1's willie a nasty tug. Poor ds twin1 was pulled forward a few inches, looked surprised and then laughed, joined by baby brother. I was speechless, DH nearly wet himself laughing.

There has, thankfully, been no more widdler pulling incidents although ds twin1 is still being called a "bad bear" by ds twin2.

nightowl · 20/04/2004 00:47

sorry twiglett
got another...took ds to the doctors as his throat was very sore. she had a look at his tonsils and thought she could see something on them but wasnt sure if it was food. She asked hum to swallow and he couldnt quite get his head around it so she said "get some spit and swallow it" Before i could stop him, he hocked up a load of flem, spat it into his hand and ate it. I couldnt help but burst out laughing...well he was only doing what she had asked! luckily she had a good sense of humour!

nightowl · 20/04/2004 00:48

him...not hum!

twiglett · 20/04/2004 21:14

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Lisa78 · 20/04/2004 21:21

My ribs hurt!!!!!! Keep em coming

Easy · 20/04/2004 21:29

For some reason ds was discussing tight-rope walking the other day. I said I couldn't do that without falling off, and he said "You could try Mummy, because Ocean Finance offer you a safety net"

Those tv ads definately get on my nerves.

Oh and a few days prior to that he was sitting looking at a comic in the car, when appropo of nothing he suddenly said "It's sugar free". Should I just take the plug off the set?

nightowl · 20/04/2004 22:57

ds also told nanna one day that "mommy put me in a slutty car this afternoon". She gave me the funniest of looks until i explained that he meant a "sooty" (as in sooty and sweep) car.

hana · 21/04/2004 18:20

dd watching me shower the other day

dd: are you going to shave mummy?
me: no, only daddy shaves in the shower
dd: I'm going to be a daddy one day.
me: you can't be a daddy, you'll be a mummy one day
dd: I DON'T WANT TO BE A MUMMY, I WANT TO BE A DADDY!!!!!! WAH WAH CRY CRY CRY

Obviously not making my role appear interesting enough!

discordia · 22/04/2004 10:33

In Boots on Tuesday, looking for a drink for ds (5) - ds grabs an orange carton, looking exactly like an individual carton of juice. "Here's some juice mummy!" I was pleased until I realised it was a box of condoms!

Northerner · 22/04/2004 10:40

My friends dd (5) was playing in my back garden, she came running in announcing 'there's a big prick in the garden'

She meant a nettle!

marialuisa · 22/04/2004 10:50

DD told the childminder that "my daddy spits at me and that's naughty". Childminder was quite taken aback but DD insistent, went on for a while until DD said "my daddy spits at me like this.." and blew a raspberry.

.

whymummy · 22/04/2004 12:46

ds(6) had an allergic reaction last night and his eyes were swollen,dh and i were discusing what it could be,was it the straberries,him touching the hamsters and then rubbing his eyes when he cried,i said i too had touched his eyes to wipe the tears away and ds looked at me and said
"oh mummy i hope i'm not allergic to you,i love you"
AWWWWWWW

Easy · 22/04/2004 12:54

I know I posted this elsewhere at the beginning of the month, but to me it's worth seeing it again.

One morning, as we were getting ready to leave the house I was struggling with my crutches, handbag, letters to post, doorkeys etc.

I said, mainly to myself "oh, I'm fed-up with this". DS said "Sorry Mummy", but I said, "Not you love, just fed-up with how I am". And he said

"Don't be fed-up with how you are mummy, because you're beautiful"

GillW · 22/04/2004 15:05

ds (2.7) was playing with a friends ds (George) yesterday - and would insist on calling him "Jaws". And at the moment his favourite compliment is "Good Boy, Mummy!" (hmmm... think we need to explain the boy/girl thing to him sometime!)

Northerner · 22/04/2004 15:08

Easy - taht is lovely.

Kayleigh · 22/04/2004 15:16

My 5 year old told me yesterday at breakfast that "When you're 100 you go to Devon"

While I was working out why you had to be a 100 before you could go to Devon he added "and then you come back in your mummys tummy".

A childs take on reincarnation

secur · 22/04/2004 15:20

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bluebear · 22/04/2004 15:27

GillW - my ds is going through the 'Good Boy Mummy' stage too!

Yesterday we had me saying 'Don't hit Mummy, that hurts' with him answering 'No it doesn't' and looking at his hand with a confused expression.
Not a greatly empathic child my ds!

dinosaur · 22/04/2004 15:34

GillW and Bluebear - my DS2 is just moving on to the next stage, now I get "Good lady, mummy"!

Always makes me want to say, "I'm no lady, kid, I'm your mother!"

prettycandles · 22/04/2004 20:31

My ds was telling one of our neighbours all about 'the anchovy in Japan' today. Evenutally we worked out what he meant, but what puzzles me is where did ds hear about 'the Emperor of Japan'?