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Original poster

putting baby to sleep in own room - right or wrong/

51 replies

cuppy · 13/04/2004 21:57

Thinking of putting 8 wk dd in her own room now. I thnk she would get a better night sleep - dh wakes me with his snoring so he must disturb her. Plus our room is quite light.But SIDS recomendations are that child is in your room till 6mths. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I dont want to put my child at risk , but 6 months! Seems like forever!

OP posts:
gothicmama · 13/04/2004 21:58

think you should wait because of SIDS it is only another 16weeks my dd has slept thro house alarm going off if that helps

Galaxy · 13/04/2004 22:00

message withdrawn

Original poster
cuppy · 13/04/2004 22:02

One hell of a risk to take though isnt it?

OP posts:
tatcity · 13/04/2004 22:04

Maybe this goes against the grain, but i think it is good to get them used to their own environment early on as long as all other advice on SIDS is followed. Babies need peace and quiet sometimes and their own space. Mine were in own rooms from 1 week or so (found that hard but was determined to do it) - it also means you don't wake at the slightest whimper. I always found when i shared a room with them while staying away, ended up feeding more often and as soon as they were back in own room went longer between feeds. This is a very personal thing, just do what feels right for you - but it worked for us!

gothicmama · 13/04/2004 22:05

I think it is one of those really personal decisions, if you have a doubt then probably best to leave moving her to own room.

madgirl · 13/04/2004 22:05

i am probably being dense, but why is it that having the baby in the same room as you reduces the SIDS risk? I am pretty anxious now, as with ds he went into his own room at 3 weeks (next door and 6 strides away) as the 3 of us were just waking each other up the whole time, and I was planning on playing it by ear with no 2 - due in July, but now I am not so sure.

GeorginaA · 13/04/2004 22:07

My ds went into his own room at around 4-5wks. Not ideal but none of us were getting any sleep! He was fine, btw.

In our new house, we don't actually have room for a cot in our room, so as soon as child number 2 grows out of the moses basket then he is going to have to go into his own room too. Again, not ideal, but then it's not something I can do anything about, and it might well be better for the kid to have a semi-compos mentis mother...

I think the really important messages from the SIDS recommendations are room temperature/appropriate clothing & blankets, the feet to the foot of the cot and back to sleep, and as Galaxy says - a good baby monitor. But then I would say that, I have to justify it to myself after all

Heathcliffscathy · 13/04/2004 22:07

my ds went into his own room at around 8 weeks as i was convinced that we were detrimental to his sleep (we did co-sleeping for first 3 weeks, then in moses basket for another 2 and then own cot in our room). at the beginning i felt like we were reassuring to him, but by 8 weeks i was sure we were distracting him. as long as we could hear him i felt that it was ok, and he did sleep better. i worried about the SIDS guidelines but i've always felt that if you have a gut feeling about something you should follow it. i've never read anything about why it would be that a child is safer in your room than not (as long as you can hear them) maybe another mntter can help on this. i say, if you think she would get a better nights sleep, try it, you'll proabably find you were right hth

Lisa78 · 13/04/2004 22:08

I think - THINK - its something to do with the theory that SIDS is due to the baby "forgetting" to breath. The sleeping with parents advice goes that they are less likely to forget to breath, if they see / hear parents breathing
But this may be a pile of crap
Personally, my 5m DS2 is in with us for as long as I can stave off DH moving him out So until he's about 15!

futurity · 13/04/2004 22:08

My DS was in his own room from 4 weeks I think but only because I had one of those cameras which meant we could see him and hear him. At first I left the tv on all night with the volume up plus the baby monitor on the pillow next to me! One friend had her baby in own room from day one and others not until 8 months..entirely what you feel comfortable with.

allatsea · 13/04/2004 22:12

both dd and ds went into their own rooms straight away - there was no room for them in with us, and when we tried to squeeze the moses basket it dh complained that dd made too much noise snuffling which stopped him sleeping!

myermay · 13/04/2004 22:13

Message withdrawn

Heathcliffscathy · 13/04/2004 22:13

lisa you have a five month old...me too

Original poster
cuppy · 13/04/2004 22:15

I would much prefer her in her own room now, and am so jealous when I hear stories like Sophables. But I dont know if all the worrying and checking on her would actually make life any easier!

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 13/04/2004 22:15

yes, son at 5m and another son 15 years!
Bit of a gap

StripyMouse · 13/04/2004 22:19

I was going to wait until my first DD was 6 months...we managed only about 3 weeks before we caved in and put her in her own room next door. Every little snuffle kept us awake. We set up the monitor and left the doors open, everything fine. Do it when you feel happy and comfortable. Having a baby in the same room as you does not guarantee anything, do the best you can and then just relax.

myermay · 13/04/2004 22:19

Message withdrawn

Heathcliffscathy · 13/04/2004 22:21

does depend on where the room is cuppy...is it close by...is this something you could try for one night and see how you feel about it?

lisa, i reckon you appreciate your little one more having done it all once a while ago...i bet that in a few years i will wish i had kept ds in bed with us until age of five but right now all dh and i can think of is sleeeeeeeeeeep!

littlemissbossy · 13/04/2004 22:23

My dh snores like a pig and keeps me awake because of it. Ds however never woke through his snoring and stayed in with us until 5 months. My advice - do whatever you're comfortable with.

Original poster
cuppy · 13/04/2004 22:27

It is possible to arrange our room so that her cot is actually CLOSER to us ( through the wall) when in her own room. So when you look at it like that...

OP posts:
squirmyworm · 13/04/2004 22:29

cuppy I'm neurotic as they come and yet managed to persuade myself it was ok to put my 8 week old in on his own (in fact I think he was about 6 weeks). I had a bad c-section scar and kept aggravating it by leaning over the moses basket so we took the plunge! I did buy one of those breathing sensor monitors which I found hugely reassuring (though prob only because I was so nervy about it, he being my first). One nice thing is that he now sleeps 12 hours a night and seems very happy in his own space. so personal decision but I think it can work, having them in their own space

squirmyworm · 13/04/2004 22:31

btw I too was curious about the SIDS advice - couldn't see how in a moses basket next to us I'd be any more likely to determine whether he was breathing than if he was next door...in the same BED I can understand but just in a cot next to you?? any theories anyone?

Tommy · 13/04/2004 22:49

My HV suggested I put DS1 in his own room at 8 weeks - I was really shocked because I thought it was 6m or a year. He was fine of course. DS2 took a bit longer because we didn't have a room ready for him!

luckymum · 13/04/2004 22:58

Mine all went to their own rooms at 6 weeks...another snoring dh I'd say go with your instincts but if you're worried your sleep won't improve cos you'll be popping in to check on her every hour!

I find it amazing how advice changes over the years - Lisa, you must feel like its a different planet since you had your eldest. My three all had the same cot mattress, the eldest (15 now) was put down on his front, had a duvet and cot bumper more or less from birth, started solids at 10 weeks, etc, etc.

hercules · 13/04/2004 23:07

I cut and pasted this-
Where should I put my baby's cot?

Do not place the cot next to a radiator, heater or fire, or in direct sunlight as this poses a risk of the baby getting too hot.

Recent research shows that having your baby's cot in your bedroom with you for the first six months reduces the risk of cot death.

However, the research does not tell us why.

If your bedroom is too small for the cot as well as your bed, put the baby in the nearest room, with the doors open.

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