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Original poster

putting baby to sleep in own room - right or wrong/

51 replies

cuppy · 13/04/2004 21:57

Thinking of putting 8 wk dd in her own room now. I thnk she would get a better night sleep - dh wakes me with his snoring so he must disturb her. Plus our room is quite light.But SIDS recomendations are that child is in your room till 6mths. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I dont want to put my child at risk , but 6 months! Seems like forever!

OP posts:
Chandra · 14/04/2004 00:17

DS went into his "bachelor pad" at 4 weeks, he didn't seem to miss us at all, I believe with all our checking and movements we were waking him up, he slept much better in his own room and with the help of a monitor so did we. If you feel your baby will be better on his own go ahead with it, if you change your mind you can always return him to your room.

mears · 14/04/2004 00:33

All mine slept in our room till over a year old. I missed them when they went Much easier to B/F when in the same room IMO - just picked them up by the babygro and swung them into bed.

Ghosty · 14/04/2004 03:42

Both my two went in their own rooms at 6 weeks.
DS because he didn't fit in the moses basket anymore and the cot didn't fit in our room ...
I found when DD was in the moses basket, that I was picking her up and feeding her at the slightest murmur as I didn't want her to wake DH up or DS, who is a very light sleeper next door to us on one side. As soon as she went into her own room (next door on the other side) she slept longer ...
The first two nights were hell though as I had the monitor on full volume and kept jumping up every time she made a tiny noise so it was worse than... so on the third night I switched the monitor sound off and now only have the red/green light going.
I am neurotic as it is without staying awake all night to check that she is breathing ...
Bad mummy ...

toddlerbob · 14/04/2004 04:44

I didn't even know this was a guideline - is it very recent? My ds is 13 months now. It's unlike me to miss a guideline.

Anyway ds was in a carry cot in his pram and was such a noisy sleeper my dh kept pushing him further and further from our room. He went in his cot at about 3 months I think and was actually closer to us.

There was a period when we coslept and then he went back to his room. He has eczema and likes to have his room at just about freezing

At a year we moved our bed so we didn't have to listen to his snoring.

AussieSim · 14/04/2004 06:56

Cuppy, I did this with my DS for similar reasons at about the same age, plus the temperature in our room varied so much as it got a lot of sun during the day. I think we all slept better, although I still had the baby telephone next to my ear on the most sensitive setting so that when the mood took me I could listen to him breathing.

Flip · 14/04/2004 08:03

Ds1 went in his own room at two weeks and ds2 went in his own room at 4 weeks. Ds2 is now four and half months and he's very happy being in his own room and knows when he wants to go to bed. Although we do have the luxury of already having a bed in his room so that if he's sickly like he has been recently we take it in turns to sleep in there with him.

fairydust · 14/04/2004 08:06

dd went into own room at 6months as i felt they don't advise you on these things if there wasn't a reason.

handlemecarefully · 14/04/2004 08:41

I have heard the same rationale as Lisa78 - i.e. the SIDs people think (but it is as yet not entirely proven by research) that young babies can have their breatheing spontaneously interrupted, but if they sleep in immediate proximity to an adult this subliminally regulates their respiration.

Personally I will keep my ds (due next week) in with us for 6 months, as I did with my dd. I don't really believe in cherry picking the SIDs guidance - if they say do it, I do it...and all of it.

But in case you think I am being 'holier than thou' - I admit that there are some things I have done that other more conscientious mums wouldn't have done (like take sudafed decongestant medication during my pregnancy). Its just that for me cot death is my biggest fear.

motherinferior · 14/04/2004 08:45

DD1 moved into her own room when we moved into a house with one, so she was about 5 months; dd2 went in with her at about 3-4 months. And boy did it make my nights better. Now I'm just working on a snoring snuffly DP...

toddlerbob · 14/04/2004 09:24

If I tell my dh about the 6 months guideline he will never consent to another baby!

oliveoil · 14/04/2004 09:36

dd went into her own room at 6 months - I hadn't got round to doing it up until then as we moved in 3 days before she was born. We slept LOADS better when she moved as, like others, we weren't waking for every snuffle.

Next one is due in August so will probably keep him/her with us for 6 months again, just don't want to tempt fate, daft I am sure but there you go. Also, easier when b/feeding to pick up and not have to stagger up the hall.

Another reason for letting the next one sleep in our room is that we live on a main road and ambulances/fire/police kindly set their sirens off when they go past so dd will now sleep through anything, and I mean anything. No need to tiptoe around her, plus dh snoring is nothing in comparison.

windypops · 14/04/2004 09:52

Ds went in to his own room from day one, the layout of the house he was actually nearer where he was then if he had been in the corner of our room. I would have been one of these mums who woke at the slightest sound. The doors were left open so we could hear. I never had any problems and he slept 10-7 from 5 weeks. Best to fo whatever you feel comfortable with.

Cam · 14/04/2004 10:05

I did it at 7 weeks and had a listening monitor next to my bed. Didn't need it though as would have been woken up by her crying for her breastfeed during the night without it. I just "felt" it was the right time, I have always been keen to move her on to whatever the next step is.

mears · 14/04/2004 21:24

Am I the only one who kept babies in same romm for so long?

mears · 14/04/2004 21:24

Am I the only one who kept babies in same romm for so long?

mears · 14/04/2004 21:25

Sorry -room (twice). Am on the wine again

gothicmama · 14/04/2004 21:26

No mine stayed until 2 worrywart for a mum or what

Original poster
cuppy · 14/04/2004 21:33

Mears- you seem to be somewhat of a legend around here!

OP posts:
frogs · 14/04/2004 22:41

We put 2nd and 3rd child in with older sibling quite early on, as baby was sleeping largely through but snuffling and fidgeting so much it kept us awake. Older children didn't seem to be bothered by it.

I think it's contributed to making them bomb-proof sleepers, as they get used to sleeping with a certain amount of background noise/movement from the other child/ren. When small they were only next door, tho', with the door open.

suedonim · 15/04/2004 00:15

Ds1 went into his own room at 3weeks, when he began sleeping through. Ds2 went in his own room at about 6mths, then shared with ds1. Dd1 was in with us until about 15mths, when her bedroom was built. Dd2 was in our room/bed until 2.5yrs.

I'm thinking of moving dd1 (now aged 16) back into our room, cos she snores so loudly. If she was in with us, I could just kick her now and then, hee hee!

fisil · 15/04/2004 07:59

Ds went in his own room at 2 weeks. We wanted to sleep. We didn't want a snuffly fidgetpuss disrupting what sleep we got, and as dp was going back to work, we didn't want both of us disturbed by night feeds. We followed all the SIDs advice. At th same time we introduced our rule that between 6pm and 6am he must stay in his room. And he still does, and he has always slept really well.

papillon · 15/04/2004 08:10

Mears u are not alone!! Our dd sleeps in our room - that is where we want her. She is on her futon right next to our bed - basically an extension of our bed and when she needs a drink or reassurance then I can lie down next to her.

Every parent and child is an individual, some like more space than others. And if a child is waking because of snoring then in the long run - to establish good sleep patterns another room could well be the best option for your family Cuppy.
As long as the child is happy and sleeping well in another room then everything is OK.

hercules · 15/04/2004 09:11

Not alone Mears.

JeniN · 15/04/2004 09:23

Each to their own, I think. You can only follow so much advice, you just have to decide what's going to work for you, but I do agree that it increases the sense of worry/guilt. We moved dd out at 6 weeks - dh is a light sleeper and just found he got too disturbed by all the little snuffles. I could have coped with her being in our room longer, but to be honest she took to the nursery great, and slept loads better. I check her a lot during the evening (7 months now) but not at night much unless she's coughing or crying.

grumpyzebra · 15/04/2004 09:27

Not alone, Mears.
DD is 2.5yo and still sleeps in a cot (with one side removed) shoved up next to our room. I left DS in the king-size bed with DH last night and went and slept in DS's bed. I want my space most nights, but DH loves having the kids in (well, except when they kick or wiggle a lot).

I didn't want to comment on thread because one one hand, sleep is a precious thing and we each have to find something that works for us as individuals, but then again, the whole idea of shoving baby into their own room at first opportunity is painful if you come from an AP-biased background... although I struggle with a lot of Attachment Parenting principles, expecting a baby or small child to be happy alone feels all wrong to me. I know online forums where the mere title on this thread would have started a flaming row, and maybe that's why the other co-sleepers on MN are also keeping quiet.