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Original poster

Does anyone actually enjoy the newborn stage?

106 replies

LucyJones · 30/09/2006 18:56

It's my second time round and I thought I'd cope better second time round. But 2 weeks in and I'm hating it just as much as the first time. I can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel - the constant feeding, winding, sleep deprivation, trying to settle etc. I think the newborn stage is like living my worst nightmare - so people hate interviews, flying etc, this is what I hate! Sorry to whinge but does any one else feel the same? Does anyone actually enjoy this bit?

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 30/09/2006 18:59

my sister is going through the same atm with her second.

It's a period much better enjoyed in retrospect, or preferably with someone else's baby .

We are gearing up to ttc for another one, but a tiny bit of me is actually dreading it .

Original poster
LucyJones · 30/09/2006 19:00

I dreaded this bit all through the pregnancy too I also complained all through pregnancy. Dh thinks I'm just never happy!!

OP posts:
hockeymum · 30/09/2006 19:02

Oh LJ - you have my sympathy. It's horrendous with your body all over the place, leaking from every orifice, hurting, crying and having no sleep.

I found I enjoyed it more second time around because I realised how short the phase really is. I decided to take each day as being seperate and try and find one thing to enjoy. I always looked back each night and thought, well, I enjoyed cuddling him during his nap, or, well at least I managed to get some clothes on today, or something like that.

It won't last long, then he/she will start repaying some of your tireless devotion with a few cracking smiles

motherinferior · 30/09/2006 19:02

Apparently some people do; I once was commissioned to write a piece on 'the first six weeks' for a baby magazine, and when I was whingeing about how the hell could I make it sound less than awful - given that IMO it's a terrible wasteland between the euphoria of the birth and the euphoria of the first smile - a friend said 'but what about all that cooing and adoring?'

Hmmm. I can assure you that the piece I eventually wrote was a quite stunning work of fiction.

Original poster
LucyJones · 30/09/2006 19:04

totally agree with the comedown after the euphoria of giving birth - everyone expects you to feel jubilant that you have this boucing beautiful baby and all I feel is numb...

OP posts:
motherinferior · 30/09/2006 19:06

It's awful, Lucy, but it will pass. I do remember being absolutely gobsmacked second time round that my life was being as turned upside down as it had been the first time.

It's particularly the way bedtime becomes this bizarre ritual concept that I remember. You get ready for bed, switch the light off, lie down...and then of course just resume the endless demands of caring for a newborn. A friend of mine calls it 'the twilight zone'.

JosephineSmith · 30/09/2006 19:08

Well the body was in hell but my mind was in heaven, I enjoyed (almost) every minute of it, despite the numerous hurting things. I am really looking forward to the nursing stage of my expectant baby.
Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me??? I remember loving it!

Pruni · 30/09/2006 19:09

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LadyTophamHatt · 30/09/2006 19:09

Ohhhhh you mean ole thing!!

I love that stage, the baby is sooooo dependable on me, I'm his whole world and I give him very bit of everything he needs.

Yes I know anyone could be feeding him, cuddling him, bathing him but I want to do it all just so I don't miss a single second of it.

We have a little close up movie clip of ds3 at about 2 weeks. He has hiccups and just on the edge of the screen you can see me face, my eyes are looking over every inch of his tiny face and as he hiccups I stroke his face with one finger.

Honestly, just sitting here recalling it makes me tearful....it's just soooo lovely. I never thought I'd have that stage again, to hold my own newborn again was a dream I never thought would happen.
I'm 26 weeks PG now and I can't wait.

JosephineSmith · 30/09/2006 19:10

Just to add - I hope you feel happier soon, as you know, it goes so fast! In a few weeks you will get a non-windy smile, hang in there!

trefusis · 30/09/2006 19:10

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
LucyJones · 30/09/2006 19:13

LTH - I wish I felt like that I really do, it would make it so much easier, I really envy you those feelings

OP posts:
motherinferior · 30/09/2006 19:13

Hmmmm....'goes so fast'. I rremember sitting in a baby shop breastfeeding a seven week old DD1. A heavily pregnant woman asked me how old the baby was and then said sentimentally 'oh, but I bet it flashes past'. I looked up at her with the exhausted weariness of something very weary indeed and said, slowly and painfully 'no, it goes very very slowly indeed'.

Anyone said 'enjoy it while it lasts' to you yet ? I swear if anyone had said that to me the second time round (they did it all the time with DD1) I'd have punched their lights out.

LadyTophamHatt · 30/09/2006 19:15

I will add though, that when he was still waking at night at 14 months I wasn't quite so happy about it.

Anyone could have had him then

franca70 · 30/09/2006 19:19

I loathed it with my first. but he was nightmare (two first months felt like one loooooong day with no night and rest).
loved it with my second, but she was v.good and settled (also gave me a scare when she was 4 days old, stayed in hospital for 5 days, so probably felt more tenderness for her)

educatingrita · 30/09/2006 19:33

Lucy, I dont want to cause you any iffence, but do you think you may be suffering from PND?

Its quite normal and you can get lots of support if so. Maybe posting on here and the fact you aare worried is you knowing something isnt quite right.
I do hope I havnt offended you but I felt very sad when I read your post as most mothers find their newborn delicious, feeling numb is such a shame.

Big hugs to you, please ask for help if you need it xx

Tatties · 30/09/2006 20:00

I didn't enjoy the newborn stage. For me I think it was the tiredness, ds being up all night and just wanting to cry all the time! Anything could set me off crying. For a good while dp didn't know what he would come home to each day. But slowly it improved. For me I think a lot of it was tied up with me being desperate to do the 'right thing', when I should have just gone with the flow a bit more, and dare I say it, enjoyed it.

I'd like to think it would be easier second time around; I don't think I would be stressing about the little things, but actually who knows? It's easy to say that now, but when you've just had a baby hormones take over. Is someone looking after you LucyJones? I wouldn't admit it or ask for it at the time, but I actually needed more help in those early days. I think that might have made things easier too.

CountessDracula · 30/09/2006 20:06

I alternately loved it and detested it, mainly detested I have to say. I was so shocked at how hard it was. Having said that, the middle of the night feeds I adored, it was so peacful and she was so tiny and gorgeous... ahhhh!

TooTicky · 30/09/2006 20:07

I find the best way is to co-sleep and spendas much timeas possible cuddling the baby - emotionally and hormonally this is the natural thing to do.

janeite · 30/09/2006 20:46

I loved it, although may be looking back with slightly rose-tinted glasses as it's 9 years since I last did it. I loved breastfeeding, just lounging around with a milky, cuddly thing. Also think that breastfeeding made night-waking easier as could just feed whilst half asleep and didn't need to get up (was in carry cot at the side of our bed). God - am getting soooooooo broody. Will go away and think of stinky nappies and endless piles of washing for a bit.

expatinscotland · 30/09/2006 20:51

I call it 'Newborn Hell'.

You have my empathy.

kittywits · 30/09/2006 21:05

I must say I love it best of all. I love their little grunts and snuffles, the faces they pull, the way they cry, how they are all curled up and so vunerable but most of all I love their smell, even their breast milk poo!!!! .
I wish it could last much longer than it does

morningpaper · 30/09/2006 21:07

NOOOOOOOO it's terrible Lucy

I hate it

I'm a nervous wreck

When I see mums with small babies I feel physically sick and start shaking (and honestly, I am quite balanced normally )

By six months (both times) I knew that the worst bit was over and I started enjoying it

By a year I was loving it

morningpaper · 30/09/2006 21:09

hahaha mi

In the park a few months ago a woman was looking at my baby and said to me "They grow up so quickly!"

And I scowled and said "Thank fuck for that."

And she laughed and said "Yes I know what you mean."

morningpaper · 30/09/2006 21:10

Actually I DO love babies

... but the nights ... and the evenings ...