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What is the WORST cleaning job that having kids measns?

90 replies

Crunchie · 31/03/2002 20:21

I have just had to do my least favourite job, cleaning the bath after the baby has pooed in it It has to tbe the worst job ever. Actually I think the worst one of all thime was having two kids in the bath and one let loose with a bout of diareoah Yuk. Grabbing both kids into towels, emptying and bleaching the bath, refilling it, adding kids, washing two manky towels, bleaching assorted bath toys and getting them in bed

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Indie · 31/03/2002 21:24

Yep poo in bath is pretty yucky. My personal dislike though is cleaning up vomit. After having DD and DS both throwing up over the last 2 weeks (at separate times thank goodness) I feel that I have washed out the house completely many times over. Baby sick is not quite so bad but 4yo (bless her) tries to make it to the bathroom and instead only gets half way and has managed to get it everywhere. I was tempted just to throw all the splattered toys away but she insisted that they were all cleaned up! I swear I can still smell it and find myself sniffing the floor or toys looking for that last speck of sick - lovely!!!

Plus cleaning out babies noses - it is like glue and just when you think you have got it all you walk outside in the sunshine and you can see all the bits that you missed!

Tinker · 31/03/2002 21:47

Oh, I love cleaning out babies noses - my own baby only (well she's 4 now). Keep a nail long specially for the task!

The worst would be changing a pooey nappy on a plastic changing mat and then she'd do a wee at the same time which loosened the poo and made it run all over the mat and into her hair.

Or once, crouched down to her level to talk to her when she promptly puked in my face and hair and, I'm sure, my mouth!

lou33 · 31/03/2002 23:18

Have to agree on the vomit front, my children always seem to make it to my bed to tell me they feel ill before promptly emptying their stomachs into it! And my least favourite job at the moment is trying to wipe diarrhoea from a reusable nappy so I can wash it again - eurgh!

leese · 31/03/2002 23:24

Very timely this, after cleaning up three bouts of easter-eggy vomit this evening! the second of the three bouts occurred whilst rolling round the kitchen at high speed in her baby walker. Hence the 'only removable with great difficulty' fabric seat was covered. She also vomited on the tray bit in front of her, and began splashing her hands in it with great delight, then trying to suck them....... it also went all over the floor, which she helped by rolling all over, and all round the kitchen. I just stood in a semi dazed state, and thought "where do I begin?......"

bloss · 01/04/2002 00:41

Message withdrawn

SueDonim · 01/04/2002 01:35

However bad it is, it's worse when the Grubs try to clean it up themselves. My eldest DS had a rather, ahem, heavy night on the town and was somewhat ill when he got home. He decided the quickest and least painful way to remove the mess was to vacuum it up. With an upright Hoover. That definitely wasn't manufactured with dry/wet usage in mind. Ever cleaned an upright vacuum cleaner???? Don't go there! Chuck it out and buy a replacement!

WideWebWitch · 01/04/2002 11:15

SueDonim, that sounds DISGUSTING!!! I think cleaning bogies off the bathroom wall is pretty revolting. Also, wiping dried on poo off the side of the loo yesterday. Ds is 4 but somehow managed to get some on the loo seat...Mmmmm.

Hilary · 01/04/2002 13:28

This is FUNNY! My boys have been reared (excuse the pun!) in washable nappies which can make for some fairly revolting cleaning jobs but my personal worst is vomit - can't stand it! Always makes me feel ill even when it is not mine!

The worst recent event was when my youngest ds was sick in his cot and had been eating, but not chewing properly, lots of grapes! Not only had he rolled his face and hair in it all but had got it all over his sheets and blankets, the bars of his cot and the floor outside the cot!

I'd better stop, I'm feeling queasy just typing it...

emmagee · 01/04/2002 18:54

lou33 yours struck a chord, I was sorely tempted to throw away a washable nappy; outer, liner etc the other day when it was the third in a row to be coated with poo! Only when I remembered how expensive the outer was did I stop myself! On those days I have to try really hard not to give up being green!

honeybunny · 01/04/2002 19:54

Definitely the poo in the bath gets my vote. I consider myself lucky, y'day was the first time, and last I hope, plus dh was on hand to help fish it out whilst I held on to pooey ds. Poo all over the wrist of my sweater and metal-strap of my watch, yuk!
Reminds me of a midnight moment of projectile poo when ds was about 10weeks. I'd just lifted his bottom to put the nappy underneath when he let rip. It went everywhere. My slippers, pyjamas, floor(cream carpet!!) shower door, bathroom door and all over ds. Fortunately dh on hand again, this time to pull me together as I cracked up in hysterics. Just couldn't stop laughing for 5minutes or more!!! Glad I could see the funny side.

Pupuce · 01/04/2002 22:11

Aren't any of you potty training ...
Worst is when DS (potty training) decides to take his nappy off during his nap, pooes in his sleep and spread it everywhere.... That's just a tad worst than Vomit ! Especially if it isn't smooth poo... sorry about the details !

Crunchie · 01/04/2002 22:44

Pupuce, I am in the midst of potty training, but we haven't really cracked it. Therefore it is just wee everywhere, she seems to be afraid of poo.

And the vomit thing never really bothered me, I had a kid who for her first year of life had 'reflux' (for those of you who don't know, this is basically an inability to keep food or milk down without projectile vomiting acros the room!) so vomit was a usually daily thing, but at least it was fresh (not too smelly!)

Leese your thing about splashing the hands in it takes me back too, I remeber standing with a bowl just after Poppy had eaten, waiting for the vomit! I got so expert I just caught it, wiped her mouth and chucked it!

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jodee · 01/04/2002 23:10

I'd heard of projectile vomit, but projectile poo - that's a new one on me! I have to say I think I've been pretty lucky on the vomit front, ds has only been sick once in bed when a very nasty tummy bug hit us all at the same time a couple of months back and I've never had a poo in the bath, but ds has a habit of pooing in the night or early morning and it doesn't bother him in the slightest but by the time I get to him in the morning it has squashed or dribbled its way all up his back or down his legs and through to the sheet, which doesn't set me up well for the day I can tell you.

When it comes to ds I can deal with any amount of poo or sick but I was looking after some kids on Sunday in the church creche and they were given creme eggs, I found myself gagging and heaving just wiping the choc flavoured saliva from their mouths - what a wimp.

Lill · 01/04/2002 23:13

Thought I would add my recent experience to this hysterical thread.
Got out of shower to attend upset ds as his nappy needed changing. Half way through he decided to finish the job. As he is breastfed the mat and his clothes were soon swimming in bright yellow poo. I leant to grab a muslin when he weed. The wee/poo mixture then trickled off the mat onto my bed and CREAM bedroom carpet!
I cleaned ds up and left him kicking on a clean muslin with everthing exposed so he could dry. I am now on my hands and knees cleaning the said cream carpet in my dressing gown when I became aware that my just washed hair was begining to drip! yes the little S@* was peeing allover me.
It goes without saying that the others were late for school that morning.

charliesmummy · 02/04/2002 00:20

The WORST was when ds came into my dressing room (said room earmarked for number two)where I keep all of my clothes on a rails and shoes neatly on the floor - basically a really neat girlie room completely baby free. Anyway I was drying my hair after my shower, with make up firmly in place when ds came in laughing and flicking his hand madly, poo had escaped his nappy and he had picked up and brought it to me and then flicked it all over my clothes - lumps of the stuff. There were lumps on the carpet throughout upstairs. Then of course I had to pick him up, all over my white waffle dressing gown, so I strip so there I am changing him with poo on my boobs, face, changing mat. Then he decides that my now saggy breasts are good for pulling at sharply. That was a pretty bad one, can't wait for potty training. Moral to this - I knew he had done a poo but wanted to sort me out first, never again, as we both ended up in the bath and I ended up with a sharp boat up my arse. This is a good thread.

Snugs · 02/04/2002 00:34

3am, kneeling in front of changing mat, projectile poo straight up inside of my thighs and all over nightshirt, dripping onto bedroom carpet. Giggling ds dabbles hands and then decides my hair is best thing to wipe clean on. After finally cleaning ds & myself up, give still giggling ds bf. He then hiccups and vomits the whole lot back into my dangling bra cup. Oh the joys of motherhood

elwar · 02/04/2002 08:58

I had the most disgusting vomit situation with dd (5 months) yesterday. The joys of weaning and trying new foods - thought I'd give avocado a go. She guzzles half of one, and as I pick her up for a cuddle/wind, cue scene from Exorcist with green projectile pouring out, sandwiching mother and baby with warm, green gloop. I can still smell it now...

elwar · 02/04/2002 09:01

I had the most disgusting vomit situation with dd (5 months) yesterday. The joys of weaning and trying new foods - thought I'd give avocado a go. She guzzles half of one, and as I pick her up for a cuddle/wind, cue scene from Exorcist with green projectile pouring out, sandwiching mother and baby with warm, green gloop. I can still smell it now...

elwar · 02/04/2002 09:02

Oops. I now see how double posts happen - clicking 'refresh' straight after posting. Won't do it again.

slug · 02/04/2002 09:31

The sluglet has reflux and is a truly impressive projectile vomiter. It always impresses me the way whe manages to get it everywhere but on herself. We've given up worrying about the carpet, I'll have it professionally cleaned after she's potty trained. Her particular speciality is vomiting down my cleavage just as we're going out.

I'm quite pleased that now that she's being weaned, she makes a noise when pooing. Gives you some warning unlike the time she was 4 weeks old, being held by her devoted grandmother when she pooed so explosivly it escaped her nappy, went up her back and out of her sleeves. There she was happily waving her arms, spraying s**t all over the MIL's new carpet.

Alibubbles · 02/04/2002 10:04

Slug, that really made me laugh about sluglet's poo coming down her sleeves!!

elwar · 02/04/2002 10:04

Can anyone tell me why changing mats are raised at the top & sides but not at the bottom? It makes for a mad panic to reach the tissues before dd's wee runs off onto the carpet.

Crunchie · 02/04/2002 13:12

Elwar, Turn it round???

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yaffle · 02/04/2002 13:54

This thread is really funny and bought back memories of my nightmare vomit situation,my eldest dd then 3 decided to throw up all over her new baby sister, to make matters worse I was doing my first stint of flying solo with 2 kids, dd no1 was standing on the buggy board and announced she felt sick, i couldnt get out of the supermarket in time (yes I was in the queue) so she promptly threw up over the pram and her sister (who stayed asleep throughout)it was definitly one of those oh my god what have i done moments. I am one of those people who can't deal with vomit, although a friend of mine came up with a theory that you're either a poo or puke person hmm !!

elwar · 02/04/2002 14:10

Durrr, of course - thanks crunchie. my brain seems to have disappeared along with my waistline!