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Original poster

OPINIONS PLEASE - LEAVING KIDS TO GO TO SUPERMARKET

78 replies

SEXGODDESS · 07/04/2004 09:12

DH is asleep upstairs and kids (11 (v sensible)and 7 quite sensible) are watching tv in lounge. I need to go to supermarket but they don't want to come. Am tempted to go and leave them with strict instructions not to open door (which I know they won't) and if they are worried they should wake daddy. Anyone done this before?

OP posts:
Original poster
SEXGODDESS · 08/04/2004 10:37

I take your point Jodimay but my kids are sensible. They have strict instructions not to eat (or drink) when there's not an adult present (or at least in the next room) so they would know not to help themselves. Also they do tend to be worriers. yesterday I popped a baby wipe down the loo and ds worried in case it blocked the loo and flooded the house! And last night he told me I shouldn't have batteries in the bedroom in case they leaked!! (Batteries for torch!) Both kids tend to err on the side of caution. I posted back in October about being over protective - can't remember the exact thread so if they were at all concerned I know they would wake their dad up (and we only live in a small house.

Poor slinky - hate supermarket shopping anyway.

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Original poster
SEXGODDESS · 08/04/2004 10:38

Oh and I did wake dh before going and he is a light sleeper.

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motherinferior · 08/04/2004 10:39

SG dear, I want you to think about this VERY seriously. You left two children with their dad...and you went to the SUPERMARKET???

Please, think carefully next time. Go somewhere a lot more fun. Shops where you can try things on at leisure, for preference. At the very least, sit in a cafe with a piece of cake. And think of those less fortunate than you who do not have the opportunities you have

jodiemay · 08/04/2004 10:41

I am glad that you woke your dh before going. I am sure that your children are sensible, but glad that you are more so, and woke dh first! Well done!

mummysurfer · 08/04/2004 10:47

i have to admit that i would have done it and not woken DH first. if they were iplaying in the garden woudl you be there ? i wouldn't . if one of them choked (pretty unlikely or no more likely than an adult choking) the other would have gotten some help. just as they would if an accident occured in the garden.

hard as it is you have to let your children take small risks when they are very young, slightly bigger risks when they are SG's age otherwise they take HUGE risks in their teens and we all know the consequences of that.

Original poster
SEXGODDESS · 08/04/2004 10:50

LOL Motherinferior - I feel I have a stamp of approval now thou hast spoken.

I'm actually sitting upstairs in bedroom (not far from dh) typing this and kids are downstairs playing... actually it's all gone quiet.

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jodiemay · 08/04/2004 10:53

It's not a case of never doing anything because they're children, it's a case of being sensible. If your kids were in the garden no, you wouldn't be there, but you'd be awake and available, same as whilst typing this, you would be available in seconds, but not if you were asleep. I am not overprotective but I wouldn't leave children in a position where they could injure themselves (by whatever means) and the only available adult was asleep......

mummysurfer · 08/04/2004 10:57

even when in a deep sleep you can react pretty quick. when they vomit in the night you are wide awake and in action within a split second!

jodiemay · 08/04/2004 10:59

It's just not the same as being awake though is it, whatever way you look at it.

mummysurfer · 08/04/2004 11:00

no its not the same but the reaction isn't that different.

noddy5 · 08/04/2004 11:01

what age is it reasonable to leave a 10 yr old boy?I sometimes nip for milk/paper to the shop in our street but never for any length of time He hates the supermarket and begs to stay home alone as he calls it but Im not sure.Mumsnetters how old were yours when you first left them for say 1 hour?

bundle · 08/04/2004 11:02

i wouldn't. i've just been on my fire training for work & we concentrated on home fire plans, it's scared me to death. sorry

jodiemay · 08/04/2004 11:04

There you go, you can have the most careful and sensible of children, but you can't expect them to deal with adult situations like a fire.......

mummysurfer · 08/04/2004 11:07

those courses are scary, but they're meant to be. but life has to go on otherwise you wouldn't have on!

hercules · 08/04/2004 11:07

I would have problem leaving a sensible 10 year old while I went shopping. I used to walk home from school on my own and make my own dinner from this age and my parents came home much later. I think there comes a point when they have to have some independence. Dont know the stats but they may well be at more risk from the car journey to the supermarket than being at home.

hercules · 08/04/2004 11:07

that is no problem

tamum · 08/04/2004 11:08

I used to be left all day from the age of 11 (not suggesting that, BTW!), so I would feel that a sensible 10 year old could certainly be left for an hour with suitable instructions on what to do in an emergency. I'm with mummysurfer, it's very important to start training older children in this way and not expecting them to move seamlessly from protected childhood to total teenage independence (when they won't listen nearly as carefully to your advice )

hercules · 08/04/2004 11:09

what are the chances of a fir occuring in a house spontaneously? If dh was there the smoke alarms would wake him anyway.

bundle · 08/04/2004 11:13

the course wasn't scary per se, it just highlighted that we have fire drills etc at work, nursery but not at home - who's in charge, how can you break double glazed windows if you need to get out, where are keys to eg back doors kept? and obvious stuff about keeping doors shut to starve fire of oxygen etc. fires don't usually start 'spontaneously' but two days ago I found a cd which (I assume) my dd (aged nearly 4 and quite sensible) had put on top of a small lamp and the case had melted, it was v hot and would presumably have caught fire eventually. i'm pretty vigilant but hadn't spotted this for a good couple of hours, as the lamp is in a corner on a shelf.

Slinky · 08/04/2004 11:17

re: house fire scenario - well that would be the case every night surely when everyone goes to bed? If we were take it to the extreme and be ultra-cautious, then that would mean that the adults in the house slept on a "rota basis".

Surely smoke alarms would go off anyway, waking the sleeping person - really pisses me off when I read of house fires and no smoke alarms fitted.

Slightly off-track....my uncle insists on wrapping my cousins in cotton wool - ages range from 5 to 20. My girl cousin (then 15) almost got into some serious s* (not drugs/drink - but being "groomed" -she is sooo naive and so totally unprepared for the adult world it really scares me.

My uncle thinks he's protecting her, but I keep telling him he's making things worse.

bundle · 08/04/2004 11:21

at least if there is an adult in the house at night or during the day then they can help a child who might not be able to think as calmly to get out. I'm not talking ultra-cautious slinky, no one has to stay awake all night, I just think people should give it a little thought and plan what they might do especially if they don't sleep on a ground floor, like we do in our flat.

aloha · 08/04/2004 11:29

Blimey, so now I can't have a kip on the sofa even when my son is seven years old...

tamum · 08/04/2004 11:29

I think that's good advice bundle, but surely the principle of what happens at night when adults are sleeping is the same as an adult being there but asleep during the day? If anything I would still say that there was less danger in Sexgoddess's situation as at least the children would be awake.

I know what you mean about flats- we used to live in the third floor and I used to lie awake at night thinking about how I would manage to get toddler ds and baby dd onto the roof on my own

bundle · 08/04/2004 11:32

ikwym about day/night time sleeping, but I will only have a nap if both mine are asleep, although dh & I have disagreements (!) about this. tamum - the fireman told us about a ladder you can get that you just attach to windowframe & sling it out - costs about £60 apparently and folds up small so you can chuck it under your bed. there's also a small harness you can get so you strap one child to you. god I sound like a health & safety bore, but it did make me think.

motherinferior · 08/04/2004 11:36

Bundle, I worry too about fire...any more info on that ladder?