Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Do we have a responsibility to others?

56 replies

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 20:19

A conversation I had last night (which I may well rant about later, as I'm still very upset/angry about it...), made me wonder what everyone else thought...

Do we have a responsibility to other people? Thinking specifically about people in the 3rd world/fair trade type issues?

So you think the everyday decisions you make (where you shop, what brand of washing powder you buy, etc) really do make a difference? Are you prepared to change the way you do things on the basis of those convictions, and if you aren't, does that make you selfish?

OP posts:

hercules · 03/04/2004 20:29

Yes, I do think we have a responsibility to others and that being born in this country makes us very lucky in comparison to where else we might have born. However, I'm afraid there isnt that much I do in my life that reflects this

grumpyzebra · 03/04/2004 20:31

I make decisions on those kind of criteria, SG (speaking of names we'd like to see change, what was wrong with Anais??).
But I can't save the world by myself, so don't make all my decisions so conscientiously -- don't buy everything fairtrade, for instance. Saving the world is a group effort. My mother was extremely politically aware about these kinds of things, though, took me to political rallies from a young age, so it's also the way I was raised, and I really couldn't be any other way.
I wouldn't say people who never try to shop ethically are necessarily selfish, though.

emmatmg · 03/04/2004 20:38

ditto hercules.
we donate money when the latest TV event or whatever is on and recycle most of our rubbish but beyond that I simply haven't enough time to organise us all to do much more.

kiwisbird · 03/04/2004 20:41

I do and make effort to, boycott nestle, buy fair trade goods when available, trade with ethical corporations whereever possible - even changed banks at one point as they were involved with a coutry involved in torturing women.
I also donate to Amnesty and to Water Aid and various other 3rd world charities which don't fritter my dosh on PR!
But I do this as I was brought up this way... its natural to me
I still splurge on unethical stuff from time to time and I eat meat

hercules · 03/04/2004 20:55

ditto wateraid

kiwisbird · 03/04/2004 20:58

I've had people call me a pretentious bitch though LOL

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:00

Pretentious? Why???

OP posts:

kiwisbird · 03/04/2004 21:02

I don't know why, maybe I sound superior that I do these little things, its more that I am passionate about some things and it gets out of hand ... I can argue for hours LOL

hercules · 03/04/2004 21:04

I think you are superior to me in this context only of course.

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:08

Y'see I care passionately about this stuff too, but according to the conversation I had last night (with best mate since age 3...) it makes me stupid and naive because as one person I can't make any difference and what does it matter because we'll all be dead in a few years anyway...

OP posts:

hercules · 03/04/2004 21:12

Ahh but everyone did something it would make a huge difference and the course of history has been changed many times by individusls. What if Msrtin Luther King, Gandhi, William/wilbur something to do with slavery had said the same thing?

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:27

I am going to rant now, as this has been bugging me all day. We had been bitching to each other about other personal stuff and it got onto this issue. She did a sociology degree and told me "oh well I know all about this because I did a dissertation on it, blah, blah, blah.." and I said something about human rights and she goes "well what do you see as rights?" I said "access to food, water, healthcare, education" and she responds "oh no, you're seeing this from a westerners point of view, 'they' don't want those things at all" and I'm like "oh, so 'they' don't want food????"

It went on from there to child labour and again it was the "oh but you're seeing it from a western pov" and then "oh, but these people see things differntly, they're quite happy to send their children out to work, they like the money it brings in" and I just stared at her. FFS, people send their children out to work because thats what they have to do to survive.

It was blatantly obvious that she had no clue about the issues she was claiming to be an expert about. But she has always been convinced that she is better than me and she was basically saying on one hand it's progress and it's just the way it is and there's nothing we can do, and on the other hand that we should halt 'progress' and not try to find cures for cancer and the like because it doesn't matter, we're all going to die....arghhhhh!!!!!

OP posts:

hercules · 03/04/2004 21:28

Agree totally with your view stupidgirl.

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:31

Oh, and she kept telling me I am a hypocrite because I try and do stuff to lessen the negative impact my life makes, and sometimes I can't do all I would like. She's not a hypocrite, of course, because she says we can't do anything so doesn't make any attempt. I'm sorry, this just really wound me up. In case you wondered, we are no longer on speaking terms.

OP posts:

Chinchilla · 03/04/2004 21:34

SG - IMhumbleO - If she has been your best friend since age 3, can you not both agree to differ? I do agree with your POV on the subject BTW, but think that losing a friend over it is not going to save the third world

Clayhead · 03/04/2004 21:40

SG, it sounds like she might be a bit guilty/jealous of you as you are doing the things she'd like to do?

Spod · 03/04/2004 21:44

i'm with you stupid girl... as someone doing a phd on ethical/fair trade it really pisses me off when fellow 'sociologists' lay claim to 'know' about these issues simply because they scribbled off an undergraduate dissertation on the subject. The argument that you're seeing the issues from a westerners point of view is a golden oldie favourite of mine, usually spouted by people who fail to grasp the incredibly complex nature of the issues and refuse to accept their role in the perpetuation of the north(west)/south divide which keeps poor people in unbelievable deprivation and forces them to literally struggle for the duration of their lives. I detest people who say that they wont contribute positively to the issues because they dont think that they as individuals can make a difference - thats the biggest cop out. as you can see, i am also rather passionate about the issue!!! has your friend even spent any time in the third world and watched people live in townships for example..... and i mean away from the glossy tourist centres.... oooooh you've got me started! i'll shut up now.

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:45

I dunno. We don't really get on these days. We have nothing in common anymore and there are so many 'taboo' subjects that we don't discuss because we argue. She's one of those people who makes me feel like s**t whenever I walk away from a conversation with her. She has a degree and she works 'in fashion' therefore she is a far better person than me, in her little world. There were so mny put downs last night, among other things - it was just that stuff that brought it to a head.

I was complaining that I was finding life difficult at the moment (I think I'm pretty depressed right now, really up and down, and finding AS ds a handful) and I got the 'well, it was your choice to have kids...' She was implying that having kids is easy and I was complaining about nothing (I was letting off steam, thats all) and my problems were all of my creation. And when Home ed was mentioned (the first time she has ever raised the subject with me, in more that 6 months of HE) I was told that she has no problem with HE, it was me HEing that she had a problem with.

OP posts:

Chinchilla · 03/04/2004 21:51

Sounds like the friendship has run its course SG? Maybe it is time to move on. I find that the people I like nowadays usually have the same 'values' as me.

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:53

Spod, she spent years in Uni, a year travelling round Australia, with a week in Thailand, and she now has a job 'in fashion' and apparently that qualifies her to know everything about everything.

Do I sound bitter? I am bitter. I'm hurt and I'm very, very angry.

Clayhead, I think jealousy has a bearing on it, although in a slightly 'OT' way. I'm very close to my parents, and see a lot of them. Her relationship with her parents is not good. She's been living at home since she got back from travelling 2 years ago and they have made it very clear to her that she isn't welcome. In fact, they've just bought her and her brother a house together with the sole intention of getting rid of her. Very sad, I do feel sorry for her.

Oh, I can't belive I'm talking about all this stuff on here. But this happened last night and I am still furious about it all...

OP posts:

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:55

Chinchilla, I think so, yes. I'm just fighting the urge to write a bitchy email to make sure she gets the message that I don't need that in my life, and saying all the things I bit my tongue from saying last night.

Of course though, I'm far too machoooor!

OP posts:

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 21:57

Lol, theres me critisising her for being selfish, this is all very self-indulgent, isn't it???

OP posts:

Chinchilla · 03/04/2004 21:58

Not self-indulgent - you need to let off steam, and we are here. DON'T send an email, you'll regret it eventually.

StripyMouse · 03/04/2004 22:01

I don?t believe it is possible to live in the modern world today and live 100% ethically and responsibly in terms of environment, shopping, transport, work, global impact and support and so on without opting out of "normal" society totally and living in a hut. Problem is, because we all know this and realise we have to compromise, the fact fact it is not straight forward makes it easier to draw a rather hazy line for ourselves and do a little bit less than perhaps what we all should be doing. For example, while I do recycle, compost, buy many fairtrade products regularly, I just can?t help buying the odd "naughty" chocolate bar as I am addicted to double deckers. Does that make me irresponsible? Should I do more? Probably

Original poster

stupidgirl · 03/04/2004 22:03

Thanks Chinchilla, I know you're right. Why am I letting this get to me so much? I have been obsessing about this all day and I just can't let go.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3