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Original poster

am I allowed to be (act) pissed off because

31 replies

Twiglett · 14/09/2006 23:00

DH wants to go away on a 'conference' in Barcelona for 5 nights

all funded by work of course, though not crucial to his work

leaving me to deal with 5.7 year old and 2.5 year old on my own

he seems surprised that I've said of course he can go if he wants to but I'm not happy about it

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 14/09/2006 23:01

Does conference in Barcelona mean lady boys in Bangok?

southeastastra · 14/09/2006 23:02

if he earns pots of money i wouldn't worry about it

Original poster
Twiglett · 14/09/2006 23:02

nope .. means geeks in barcelona

OP posts:
Gobbledigook · 14/09/2006 23:02

That would be my response too - I'd never try to stop him going but I'd make it clear it wasn't going to make my life very easy.

So many people deal with their partners going away a lot though don't they? I don't know how they get on with it - I like to know he's coming in to help with putting the boys to bed and that there will be someone to talk to in the evening.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 23:03
Grin
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 23:03

Sorry - was at welsh

moondog · 14/09/2006 23:04

Oh don't be a shrew Twig!
Let him go with good grace.
I deal with my two who are roughly the same age more or less permanently alone and it aint so bad.

Just make sure yu organise something similar in future.

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 14/09/2006 23:04

I would let him go on condition he stays home with the kids some time and lets you go away for a few days.

Original poster
Twiglett · 14/09/2006 23:04

he says "you can go away for a week if you can get someone to pay for it"

OP posts:
emkana · 14/09/2006 23:05

It can actually be quite nice sometimes to be on your own, I find. (Or does that say something terrible about the state of my marriage? )

I'm with moondog anyway.

Gobbledigook · 14/09/2006 23:06

I'd find it quite lonely tbh because I'm at home most of the time with the kids anyway. It would be different I think if you worked with other people in the day - then you might appreciate the peace adn quiet more but I like adult conversation in teh evening. Well, not adult conversations...you know what I mean!

Californifrau · 14/09/2006 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 14/09/2006 23:08

I follow dh to far flung parts of the world and then when I get there he clears off somewhere else! Am used to it now.

(Paying comment would enrage however.)

edam · 14/09/2006 23:13

Oooh, that paying comment would make me throw things at him. The patronising git. As if he's somehow worth more than you! Grrrr.

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 14/09/2006 23:18

Doesn't cost much to go and stay with a friend, even one with a family of their own, could be kinda fun being a cool auntie. A change is as good as a rest, even if it ends up you babysitting someone else's kids.

emkana · 14/09/2006 23:19

Ah now the paying comment is totally out of order.

Pruni · 14/09/2006 23:33

Message withdrawn

Pruni · 14/09/2006 23:34

Message withdrawn

Pruni · 14/09/2006 23:34

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully · 14/09/2006 23:38

I had this when dh buggered off to Dubai for 5 days with work....Wasn't best thrilled like your good self.

Have since been using it to my advantage though, calling in favour after favour from him

2Cute · 14/09/2006 23:50

Twiglett, act like your having a ball and he should go more often That'll take him by surprise! (could seriously backfire though so ignore me!) lol

My DH is away for the weekend as well, social not work. I think what really irritates us is not so much the fact that they're going but that we can't just get up and go ourselves. To men, we are the carers by default, not exactly fair though is it

Not nice of him to make the paying comment though was it?! Cheek.

Original poster
Twiglett · 15/09/2006 09:27

It blew up out of all recognition and late into the night

I don't recognise our relationship at the moment .. this morning I was thinking of what life would be without him .. and I told him

We don't argue .. I'm confused, overly exhausted and slightly sad though I know it'll all be alright because I know we love each other

He thinks mumsnet is a BIG problem though

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 15/09/2006 09:32

Twiglett
you do sound exhausted and like you need a break.
the paying comment was certainly out of order

Blu · 15/09/2006 09:42

Oh Twiglett .

It sounds as if you are in a rut and need something for YOU.

In all honesty, I don't think it needs to be a big problem per se that he goes away, BUT it sounds as if you are resentful that you are not getting any perks, excitment, tlc, rest, recognition, and are ground down and fed-up.

The 'pay for it' comment would have had me screeching.

His job has these 'lighter' aspects. Yours needs it too. And it should come out of your 'employers' resources just as his do - your 'employers resources' are the pooled family resources - and that means either the money or time - i.e some of his!

MN can be a prolem. I retreat into MN when I am tired and disaffected etc, when I should be facing outwards to my relationship, work, home life etc. And there are days when I feel as if I have achieved NOTHING because I have spent too much time on MN, and it isn't a good feeling. I feel better when I have achieved something tangible.

ComeOVeneer · 15/09/2006 09:47

I agree the paying for a break comment would have got my back up too. However tbh I am frequently surprised by the number of threads like this about dh/dp going away for a few days. My dh does this on a regular basis and I can't say it ever bothers me. I am totally proficient at caring for my 2 children by myself and don't resent him not being there. Sorry I just don't get it.

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