Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Merry go round &round &round &....................

33 replies

melsy · 30/03/2004 09:09

Does anyone else feel like that. I feel like my body is incubating a yucky illness. I love my dd and will do anyhting for her. She gives me a joyous smile every morning,which seems to help it a little, but sometimes I just want to stay in bed as I dont always have the energy to look after her every day.Does it feel like it just goes on & on & on , with no change to the picture at all any time soon??? I feel terrible for feeling this way and makes me feel like a bad mum. I havent been out with my mummy group for a couple of weeks and have spent most days at home because dd has had a nasty virus , with tempratures and may be Im feeling hemmed in but also very run down , so doing stuff is like a big feat at the moment.I dont know, its like a grey cloud, like the one in the begining credits of Honeymoon in Vegas!!! Actually writing this theres probably many of you who feel this way at one time or another, but sometimes when alone every day you feel that you are the only one.

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 09:18

Im also having a diffucult time with some home truths form my therapist & things are not easy with dh , as our finances have gone to pot thorugh our bad discipline. So thats our own fault.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 30/03/2004 09:19

It does get better . Sometimes I wish I could put DSs into a magic cupboard where the'd stay in suspended animation for 48 hours or so allowing me to recover.

I think you do need to make the effort to go out when they're well enough. Unless DSs are ill, I always go out to my regular places no matter how low/ill/fed up I feel.

The grey cloud will blow away, promise! It might come back every now and then but as long as you hold onto the thought that the wind will change and blow it away, you'll be OK.

Hugs
x

Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 09:22

Thank you Soupy. Everyone keeps cancelling for similar reasons , there must be something going on !!!

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 09:34

Dont leave me on here !!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 09:55

Ok getting off now to sit in a harumpf on the bench!!!

OP posts:
fio2 · 30/03/2004 10:00

no I think we all feel like this sometimes dont we??

kiwisbird · 30/03/2004 10:04

I too recognise this, I joined NCT and forced myself on peoples doorsteps in desp attempt to fit in and get a life
I still feel like I don't belong ans would descibe myself as an agoraphobic at times as I resist going outside if I can avoid it, make excuses to get DH to go get things, if we're together I'm fine - I know the crux is that I do not fit in where I am living.
I have great days and grey days. I am unhappy I know as my body gets rashes, I get headaches, I'm putting on weight (I never have before) and I drink too much at nights - well I stopped that as I could see where that was going...
I never had this feeling with 1st baby... I think possibly I am bored shitless... much as I adore being with my baby I need some education again

CookieMonster · 30/03/2004 10:08

yes I think we all feel this sort of thing to one degree or another from time to time. I think we get in a rut because of illness, sleep problems or whatever and it just feels like it's going to go on forever and nothing will change. I certainly feel like this quite often but something always comes along to make things better - or at least different! When I'm feeling low I usually appeal to dh for some help and it usually works - he gives me a break for a few hours or whatever and things start to look different.
Keep your chin up melsy, things will get better. In the meantime, hugs from the CM x

Freckle · 30/03/2004 10:09

I think this is probably part and parcel of being a mum. You can't be on a high all the time and sometimes the lows can hit you more than at other times. Does that make sense? I'm probably at a different stage of parenting than you, with school-age children, but the same thing hits me occasionally. I really look forward to the school holidays so that I don't have to get up and have 3 children out of the house by a certain time. That many after-school activities also stop, so that I don't have to dash in, shovel some tea into them and then drag them out to an activity that I know they enjoy but that they don't want to do on that particular day because it means stopping what they are currently doing..... And on it goes.

So, yes, there are days when I don't want to get out of bed and do anything. Quite often actually. But it does pass and things do get better.

SoupDragon · 30/03/2004 10:11

Sorry, Melsy - Essbee invited herself round for a cup of tea. I wasn't deliberately abandoning you, honest I'm off out now (child free day, off to paint some pottery in the local pottery cafe place!)

Nursery is my saviour.

iota · 30/03/2004 10:19

Hi Melsey I'm chained to the house today as ds2 has a bug and is off nursery - last week ds1 had it. So I'm going stir crazy - that's 2 weeks running my plans have been scuppered and a nice grown-up lunch with ex work friends cancelled.

It sucks doesn't it? And next week it's school holidays so no freedom then either.

papillon · 30/03/2004 10:24

do any mumsnetters live around Melsy?

Sonnet · 30/03/2004 10:29

Sorry to hear you (and others) feel like this..I've been here too.
One thing has struck me in relation to my own feelings - do any of you work outside the home or are you SAHM??

kiwisbird · 30/03/2004 10:37

I'm a SAHM I used to be workaholic single mum this is real step off for me - housework managing a man and his career and ignoring enriching my life outside the home...
Not at all resentful, just rueful I guess
Where are you Melsy? We can pop around for coffee!!

Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 10:38

At the moment I am a SAHM , but I have my own freelance business. Im not ready to start it up at the moment though. Do u have a theory Sonnet??? Are u an SAHM??

I was just talking to Papillon via email and had a panic attack right there and then. My docotor thinks its brough on by this vertigo problem I have jsut been told I have . My dh thinks its pshychosamatic and that now the docs told me i have it , im bringin it on . The vertigo I mean. Great now my dh think sIm mad , but I have been telling my mum of this strange sensation for months.

OP posts:
papillon · 30/03/2004 10:40

cannot get through on your email

Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 10:45

My broadband keeps going offline , its just come back on. I think I might have calmed down a bit for now. Dont wnat to worry u. There are some mumnstters I know near me , but the closest MN friend is at work.

I used to be high flying career girl. I am on strong medication for PND , which I thought I was getting over. I suffer every now and again with agarphobia. You know what Kiwisbird I also feel better at weekends when DH is around. Its like having someone rescue u.

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 10:46

I really wan to go out for lunch today with my sisters and nana , but I am soo giddy , Im not sure if I should drive????

OP posts:
papillon · 30/03/2004 10:50

glad to hear u are ok now... email still down
I have to go now... thinking of u.
can your sister pick u up?
take it easy

nutcracker · 30/03/2004 10:51

Oh i know that feeling well. Dp had to have the day off again yesterday as i just felt so low.
I'm having a taster of the easter hols today as i let dd1 have the day off as she had earache. God i am dreading it soooooo much.
I to have periods where i just don't want to go out anywhere. I get up and take the kids to school but then thats it. I recently went for about 4 weeks without going anywhere othewr than the school.
The flat is a tip again and i just can't be arsed to do anything about it

Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 10:59

Yeah my house is the same , stuff everywere. cant be bothered to do anything about it.

OP posts:
Sonnet · 30/03/2004 11:38

Do I have a theory - well only based on what happened to me in the past and what I've observed and been told by friends.

I have been a full-time working mum, a SAHM, and a part time working mum.
In an ideal world I'd love to be a SAHM, BUT I know that in reality I would suffer from depression - I would eventually want to stay at home and not go out despite pushing myself and having a good support network of friends around (family too far away) - it is not just me I've seen it with other friends. It tends to be IMO especially bad with older mums who have had a busy career but of course there are always exceptions.
My only advice (FWIW) is to have"some time" to yourself on a regular basis even if you only go out for a coffee and a good book - rely on family or a recipricol arrangement with friends.
I love my children dearly and would love to me at home with them 24/7 BUT I know deep down it wouldn't work. I am lucky to have a 3 day per week job (and only work 2 days in the school holidays with the flexibility to WFH, which means I seem to spend the largest part of the school holidays with DD1) - I still suffer the "blues" which leaves me with no motivation and jobs pileing up...but spring will help....
I do hope you all feel better soon..

Kayleigh · 30/03/2004 12:14

Melsy, just seen this. Worried about you honey.
Am working today but am around Friday until I have to pick up ds1. Do you want to get together ?
Text/email me.

XX
K

Original poster
melsy · 30/03/2004 12:19

Well Im feeling a little better, but still a bit giddy. My sister called and told me just to get dressed and to come and meet her. If you saw me right now , you would look at me and think "so whats wrong with her then !!" My outward appearance belies my inside feelings.

Thank you Kayleigh. Will email u now

OP posts:
papillon · 30/03/2004 12:38

still cannot get my email out to you!!
never mind.. I am off to sit in the sun again.

xx

Swipe left for the next trending thread