Calling all Townies: Remind me why I don't want to live in the country?

[MrsGrump]

DH & I always said we wanted to live in town/city, have good access to services, not have to own a car... but hacked off with high house prices for no space, hacked off with all negative feedback at work & lack of childcare, and toying with fantasy of chucking work in, buying a big house in a coastal village...Please talk me out of this? I don't want to live miles from anywhere, crazy too-fast drivers on tiny roads, no facilities, have to own and maintain a car... er, must be more than that against it.

Love the bit about being fashionable and noone even realising you are.

I know what you mean, Eulalia, about most city people drive everywhere, too. Jaw-droppingly short distances, to be honest! But we are the sort of eco-freaks who walk and cycle (don't even own a car, at present).
Yesterday I bought DS sandals on impulse, in response to the warm weather... couldn't do it so easily out in the sticks. And pointed out today to DH we (HE) would have to without broadband and pizza delivery in the country... but this evening I sent him on a wild goosechase to look at a local house for sale (4-bed detached, slightly busy road, good area) I thought was listed for 280k, only to double check and find out they want 395k! We would get a mansion for that kind of money on the coast, sigh.

I have lots of good local friends, fabulous playgroups nearby, restaurants and cafes within walking distance, I know the people in the local shops (inc new trendy salvage shop), and when I type, I too look out at trees and hear birdsong. Hard to believe it's Camberwell/Peckham really. Nearest primary is scary dive though - though two others 1/2 mile away are excellent - wish me luck!
Have thought about country living, but recently went out to view and got v v scared. Also friend who grew up in country is determined to live in city as her school was hotbed of drugs and underage sex!
We're going on holiday to a cottage in Norfolk thuogh, so aren't anti-country per se.

Oh, and re houseprices, Camberwell is SO cheap we don't really get any more house by moving to country There may be a more bedrooms but they are all TINY.

Well, here in Sheffield I am pretty happy that DD will have plenty to do safely in the city. It is a pretty friendly city TBH and plenty of things for all ages. Trouble comes when she is a teenager. If we were still in the city centre thwen she'd end up bringing all her mates back after a night out - not sure DH will like that quite as much!!!

Just wanted to agree with CD - I grew up in the country too and ooh, the drugs I could get my hands on you wouldn't believe. Nothing else to do, see

JJ - which part of Islington did you live in? Thats where we live. I know all about being priced out of places. We moved here just before it became terribly trendy. Even so we couldn't afford a house, but are happy with our 3 bed flat and shared garden.

Which brings me onto something else that I would be interested in the experiences of village dwellers. Round here, many people don't have gardens or if they do, they tend to be small town gardens. Consequently everyone takes their kids to the park or the garden squares. I made so many friends this way, and now dd is at school, on a nice day in the holidays you can almost guarantee you'll bump into someone she knows to play with. Yes it would be nice to have our own private garden but you can't have it all. Anyway what I was going to say was in the summer, dd and I took ds out in his pram for a walk while staying with the in-laws. They live in a large village. It was a lovely day and we headed for the playground. Despite hearing loads of children, we saw none and there was only a group of older children in the playground. So does the park not feature as a social place in villages or was it just bad luck that day? Its often been a similar experience at my parents whereas the playgrounds are packed here on nice days.

Sorry I've gone on

Did you pass through Landford today Coddy then?

I'm actually not in Landford 'proper', my address is "Partridge Hill, Landford" and I'm one of the houses on the main A36. Still the house is set back from the road so we don't get intrusive traffic noise...and right next door to us is a cabbage field, and the nice farmer cuts the top of our hedge (which borders his field)with his fancy tractor attachment. I was born and brought up in the city, so the 'country' is still a novelty for me - I even find the crop scarer that goes off at 5.00 in the morning quite endearing (because its a reminder that I have escaped urban living!)

no time to read this thread now, but I am itching to do so. Just wanted to share that with you

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I think I live in what RobinW describes as a large village, and the sort of place posey's in-laws live in. I actually like it here but wouldn't like not to have the car. But we don't have to drive everywhere. DS should get into the village school - 30 places per year which is two minutes walk. We can walk to the swimming baths and usually do in the summer. DS goes to nursery in the next village which actually runs into this village (maybe 3/4 mile walk) so I am planning on walking him there and back while on mat. leave over the summer. Can walk to surgery also. And since I've had DS I've got to know quite a few people.

OTOH I can be parked in Meadowhall or Leeds city centre or Ikea in 20 minutes - so we're OK for shopping. Asda is 10 minutes but I get delivery anyway. Worst aspect is probably night life but since I've nobody to go out with thats OK. Not sure what DS will think when he's older though - do see teenagers with football in bus stop regularly.

Just thought I'd add my bit. I grew up in the Peak District and I loved it with a passion. I always thought my particular spot was the best of both worlds - I had lots of local friends; lots of local discos to go to; on a good night I could get served in the local (I was one of the fortunate ones whose parents weren't pub goers). I also had beautiful places to "hang out" over long summer holidays, and places to go sledging in the Winter, but Sheffield (cinema, shops, and, when older pubs and clubs) was just 30 mins on the bus.

Now I'm in London and while I still love "home" I really can't imagine going back there. There's much I love about the community element and I know people now who are really at the heart of the village - there's a real sense of ownership when you're on the bonfire/summer fete/church hall committee, but it's not for me. I think it's the Telegraph readers, the suspicion of anything different - I'll never forget being taken to task at a dinner up there for not taking Dh's name. It makes me feel very sad in some ways but - for me anyway - I've been away too long..we've grown apart.

I reckon rural village is probably the hardest of the country options - rural town you're more likely to find people you have something in common with and things you want to do, farmhouse in the middle of nowhere - there's nothing to fit into - you can just admire the view and get on with being yourself (if you can take being alone). But small village - I'd say it's the toughest one to crack if you've been a townie.

Getting a bit long here but have to respond to the person who commented on lack of playgrounds - who needs them when you've got a river you can paddle in, woods you can run around to your heart's content in, lambs to go and coo at, trees to climb, rocks to clamber...

This evening after dinner I took my two girls for a walk before bathtime and bed - thought of this thread while spending a blissful half hour in balmy spring sunshine. We walked through our small rural village, everyone stops to say hello and know our name - just the way it is in a small village. We stopped off at the orchard next door so that my DD1 could pat the horse and feed her a bunch of long grass, next we counted the lambs and spoke to the farmer who made my DDs both giggle like mad and picked up one of the lambs so we could have a better look. On to the edge of the village and along the eastuary pathway - golden glow made the water beautiful and there were still some boats out sailing, just enough for a 3 year old to count easily. Stopped to pat a few dogs and chat to their owners, passed a few more fields of sheep and cows, saw a heron fly overhead and pelased that my DD1 instantly identified it. On alongside the river now and back home...pure bliss. My two tired daughters, one very muddy and clutching a bedraggled dandilion in one hand and a stick in the other were happily plonked in the bath and put to bed full fo dreams of horses, sheep, the wild bunnies we saw and sail boats racing in the gentle breeze...

I love living in the countryside with a passion - there is so much to see and do and can be idyllic particularly for children. I have lived in several major cities incl. central London and enjoyed that too but in a totally different way. For me, family life is about fresh air, fields, space to run unhindered, fishing for crabs on the beach, looking for frogspawn in the village pond and watching lapwings arriving for the winter, community life where your family all feel part of what is going on and develop that sense of community responsibilty through village life such as village picnics, fundraisers, fetes etc. All can be done in a city but, for me, it just isn?t the same.

Blimey, StripMouse, you could almost sell it to me! We're off to the New Forest to stay with the inlaws tomorrow for a week and hope to do all those sorts of things. I love it while I'm there, sometimes dream of staying, but know in my heart of hearts that at the moment city dwelling is for us! You sound really really happy!

Aaaaah, that sounds so lovely Stripymouse

We live on the outskirts of a seaside town - the area we live in is like a little "village" - own post-office, library, newsagents, bakers, butchers, small Co-op etc but with the advantage of having the beach on our doorstep.

Like you, we decided to make the most of the beautiful evening tonight, so after having an early meal at Brewsters , we drove home, dropped the car off and walked the 2 minutes up to the beach at the top of our road.

We walked along the Prom, then went down onto the beach so the kids could do some "skimming" with the stones. It was lovely - didn't see anyone other than a couple of elderly couples and another family

Decided to make the most of the "peace and quiet" as the holiday season starts on Friday and that's it then - can't find parking spaces in town, and the holidaymakers walking past our house on the way back to the nearby camp from the beach who feel they can chuck their rubbish in my front garden and sing at the tops of their voices at 3am

Absolutely LOVE living by the beach (also have a Country Park up the road - although Council are currently trying to "de-camp" the Travellers who've decided to knock down some barriers so they can camp there!) but I dread April to September

Yep - I am blissfully happy with where we live and wouldn?t swap it for the world. That doesn?t mean we go round in a permanent haze of dopey bliss, we have our ups and downs like any family, but the actual physical location of where we live seems to give us a genuine 10% bonus "happiness factor" on day to day living IYKWIM.
Just going outside, even on a rainy day, can lift even the blackest of moods and family petty squabbles seem to fall away into the hedgerows - and on a good day it really does feel like we are walking in paradise.

ahh read this thread at last. We will probably move from the town to the country in a year or twos' time - but not the back of beyond - a large village. I'm a townie so can't make too big a jump.

After years of resisting, I now feel happy about moving away from London. One big reason I want to move: I am 46 years old. I do not want to grow old in the place I live - SE London. Too ugly, too much crime. I have no real roots here, no family. I don't want to move away at retirement age. I want to move while I have some vestige of youth about me, with my young sons, so I can be part of their community - not just with a bunch of oldies. That's the plan, anyway.

I think it depends where you live, really, as you can get either the best or worst of both worlds. I live in a small market town, and really we have some of the down sides of living in a town (bad parking, litter, not much space etc)plus the downsides of rural living (rubbish public transport, complete lack of cinema/theatre/live music unless you like am dram or third rate cover bands), shockingly racist attitudes (BNP starting to become active), crap shops, non-existent food delivery, bored pot-head teenagers who think they're really urban because they own a skateboard etc).
There are surprisingly few areas of the countryside that we can access too, largely due to an abundance of barbed wire round fields and intolerant farmers.
However, if you pick the right house and area you can have the best of both worlds, but it does take time and effort.
Personally, would prefer to live in a small city or medium sized town with low pollution, good parks and easy access to countryside.

tigermoth - do it! As others have said, it does depend on the small town/village you choose so do your homework really carefully but it is really really worth it. Don?t wait, as soon as it is practical put on yer wellies and come and join us bumpkins, you won?t regret it for a moment.

We know the area we want to move to - South Devon, near my inlaws. My dh used live there and we've been visiting for 18 years. Don't know the exact village. We'll select a few and see what we can afford. It's finding work for us both that worries me the most. My husband assures me the Devon economy is better now and jobs are more plentiful. At least one of us (and quite possibly both of us) will be going down minus job, then looking around once we are there. Scary! I envisage that I will probably end up working in Plymouth and live within commuting distance of the city.

It does worry me that so many of you say teenagers get bored, drink cider and take quantities of drugs. (Mind you, don't like to think what the ones in this bit of London get into). My 9 year old son can't wait to move, but will I be faced with a bored, resentful teenager in a few years' time?

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On days like today I would happily move to the country (so long as I could come back if it rained¬