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Original poster

Calling all Townies: Remind me why I don't want to live in the country?

93 replies

MrsGrump · 29/03/2004 21:09

DH & I always said we wanted to live in town/city, have good access to services, not have to own a car... but hacked off with high house prices for no space, hacked off with all negative feedback at work & lack of childcare, and toying with fantasy of chucking work in, buying a big house in a coastal village...Please talk me out of this? I don't want to live miles from anywhere, crazy too-fast drivers on tiny roads, no facilities, have to own and maintain a car... er, must be more than that against it.

OP posts:
Posey · 30/03/2004 20:26

Its not totally anonymous living in a city. There are lots of distinct neighbourhoods and if you get out and about it can be incredibly friendly.
My dd attends the local primary school which is across the road, so all her friends are local. The owners of the local shop, the librarians, the butcher, the baker and candlestick maker () all know me well enough to pass the time of day. Our neighbours are all really friendly, help each other out if anyone needs it... I could go on.

At the end of the day, I don't think anyone can persuade anyone against their will to live somewhere. If we all wanted to live in the cities, they'd soon be overcrowded and if everyone wanted to live in rural areas, they wouldn't remain rural for long.
I'm really happy where I am, and just because I wouln't choose to live in a country village doesn't mean I think its a crap place to live. Just wanted to make that clear

fio2 · 30/03/2004 20:34

I suppose its which town and where you live in each town too. I love our town now, but where we live - as in street I hate, loved living in our last place though. was brought up in a vilage not far from a major city and was very at ease, not much crime, no drugs etc pigs came round the house but only looking for my dad () Then moved to a busier town and so forth
dh wants to move outwards into village/country life, dont feel quite ready at 26 though....

JJ · 30/03/2004 20:52

Posey, I agree with you. We knew our local grocer, butcher, fishmonger, the farmers at the famers' market and maybe a couple of people unrelated to food. It was great-- I definitely felt part of a community even though we lived in Islington for only 2 years. I don't want to feel like an outsider for too long.

But, like you, I think it's up to what you like. I like it here in Switzerland in my small town. I love the safety, the trust and the good air (except when they're manuring the fields...). I love the options for the outdoors, but it's not really my thing and I miss the city's benefits more.

throckenholt · 31/03/2004 08:13

I guess rural varies as much as cities/urban. The choice is between big city, big town, small town, big village, small village, hamlet, fields.

I have lived in small town, big city, big town, and hamlet. I think I personally prefer small village.

pluses for the country side - definitely space away from people (I could manage about a month at a time in the city before I went stir crazy and needed to get out somewhere away from people !). My kids would say "tractors, combines, trailers, muck spreaders, milk lorry" . Being able to walk out of your door and be in the country, no street lights all night, cows/pigs/sheep at the farm down the road. Seeing deer when walking to the meadows in the early morning. Friendly locals. Small schools. Being able to walk/cycle to the local farm shop for local grown fresh food.
Less pollution.

We have all local services within 2 miles of us - includes doctors, pharmacy, shops, library, post office, banks, takeaways, schools.

Cons for the countryside - unfriendly locals, small schools, farm traffic, muck spreading, needing a car.

Pretty much depends on which bit of countryside versus which bit of city.

Pros for the cities - nightlife (not something I miss much), frequent buses - um I'm struggling here - can't think of anything much I miss.

If you are thinking coastal in Norfolk then don't go too close to the cliffs !

Hulababy · 31/03/2004 08:51

I live in the city centre and love it. I now can't imagine living anywhere else and have no idea where we will move to once we outgrow the apartment here - not many bigger/3 bed ones in the city here I just find it so easy with a toddler - going out to town is a 2 minute walk, going out for a meal is a regular occurence as a family after work as it is just downstairs, the big shopping centre is a tram ride. We rarely use our car at weekends, and when we have friends round for nights out it is fab I used to live about 10 miles from the city before and it was always a pain to get anywhere and cost a fortune in car parking - now that is reduced to nothing. And luckily where we live we have anumber of lovely green areas and parks within a 15 minute walk, a beautifuly kept roof top garden and a large terrace on our floor for dollies picnics or a ride on her little bike, or for adults drinks at night.

Wouldn't want to live anywhere else right now.

Sonnet · 31/03/2004 11:24

100,000 people move every year from the towns into the countryside (stats courtesy of radio 4 this morning!). This has the effect of pricing the "locals" out of the housing market and turning rural communities into Commuter Belts.
If you do move into a rural community - SUPPORT THE ECONOMY - this means shopping in the village/local shops (even if just for papers, milk, bread,emergency items!), support local farm shops, support local farmers markets, use local trades people. SUPPORT THE COMMUNITY - join local things ie mums and tots, brownies, cubs etc, use your village Hall, support your rural parish council on community issues.
I don't think the decision stops at a lack of Starbucks, no theatre or cinema but needs to be widened out to answer the question "Do we want to be part of this rural community"

If you do, come along and join us but don't forget to bring your wellies because the one thing there is a lot of in the country is MUD

OldieMum · 31/03/2004 11:29

DH's brother, who lives in Sydney, has a holiday house in a little country town in the Blue Mountains. He has inherited some money and told us this week that he has decided to buy the local shop because it's the only one for miles and is being run down by its current owner. He says that if the shop goes, the town would die. We are very proud of him, but think it's a huge risk to take.

Sonnet · 31/03/2004 12:05

Good luck to him Oldimum.
It is a vicious circle with village/local shops: if they are not supported the owners don't have the income to invest in the shop/stock - if they don't stock a good quality range people don't support them.....

beetroot · 31/03/2004 12:07

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scoobysnax · 31/03/2004 12:21

Lots of folk who live in the country have tiny gardens and lots of traffic noise.

Small places and small-mindedness coincide a lot.

If you are fashionable a lot of people will not understand this in the country...

You will spend a big proportion of your time travelling - not much fun.

scoobysnax · 31/03/2004 12:22

There are no good parks either

OldieMum · 31/03/2004 12:58

I am typing this while looking out onto trees and grass. There are dozens of daffodils on the other side of the lane. The only sound I can hear is birdsong. That's why I don't want to live in a town.

Cod · 31/03/2004 13:25

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ks · 31/03/2004 13:29

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Cod · 31/03/2004 13:29

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aloha · 31/03/2004 14:14

Do you mean hang out in the city or the country. I believe in the country phone boxes only exist so teenagers to hang around them, drinking cider

CountessDracula · 31/03/2004 14:18

I thought they were for weeing in.

Cod · 31/03/2004 14:32

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Sonnet · 31/03/2004 14:34

that's when the've drunk too much cider cd

Sorry about that KS - that's the ridiculous cost of houses..

aloha · 31/03/2004 14:35

Is it between the phone box and the cottage ?

Original poster
MrsGrump · 31/03/2004 15:05

Sorry for starting the thread and neglecting it so far -- kids call every time I even try to get on MNet nowadays.
I'm glad this didn't degenerate into townies-country folk conflict, occurred to me since that the opportunity was there.

I'd be happy with the country town compromise but the only good candidate is the one where DH works and what we repeatedly hear is that it's a dive to live in. The village we're eyeing up has a primary school with good test results (may not reflect anything, but not a bad sign, at least). DH could cycle to work most days (3 miles?). I don't know what else is there, but have heard you can easily walk down to the beach, and if it's big enough for a school I'd imagine it has butcher & some sellers of fruit+veg near-enough by. That and occasional big trips to supermarket would keep us fed. What I don't know about is childcare, though, and giving up my job would cost us a fortune. And what do the kids do all summer/term breaks if we don't drive somewhere most days? DH thinks fundamentally I'd be bored to tears. And we would hate playing chaffeur for the kids in 5-7 years time, plus the nearest secondary schools are back in the town which is suposed to be so socially deprived.

We could buy a much nicer house in a Norfolk coastal village than in Norwich itself for the same amount of money. Norwich is commuter territory for Cambridge, see...

We're even talking about trying to rent on the coast for a year or 2 and see if we really can or can't hack it. Might be the best compromise, unless house prices keep going up, in which case we'd regret not buying... can't get it right, can we!? Wish my whole life didn't feel like that...

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 31/03/2004 15:20

LOL Aloha!!!

Coddy we are winding you up you bumpkin I am from the sodding country I should know what it's like (shudder)

Croak · 31/03/2004 15:40

Me too, CD, where there's a will to drink cider, there's a way
I think you're right to check out secondary schools Mrs Grump. I grew up in a village with a nice cosy primary school but it fed into the local town's roughest secondary school. Like many of my friends' my irreligious parents ended up burying their scruples and exagerrating my attendence at brownies so that I got into the better c of e school - thats a whole different thread though...
Don't know what happens nowadays (makes me sound older than I am) but as all my friends lived in my village we used to play around there rather than being driven into town. We'd only do that for things like swimming. At secondary school it was more of a problem but if you're only 3 miles out, by that age your children could probably bike like your dh, so long as the roads aren't too busy.
Think you're being far too hard on yourself by saying that you always get things wrong. Sounds like you're just being far more careful than most people to make sure that everything works well

Eulalia · 31/03/2004 18:33

I live in the country. the only downside is having to drive everywhere, although as far as I can see most of my city friends do just as much driving as no-one ever lives exactly next to the shops/school/park/whatever. the difference is that it is a bit further for me but doesn't actually take much longer because we have no traffic jams or traffic lights.

we are in a v small village but have local ammenities 3 miles away and a small town 6 miles away with the city 25 miles away. I feel they are all accessible and I have a good choice of where to go.

we lived in the city before and although the nightlife was good I didn;t really have many close friends. NOw we have a good relationship with most of the village people. there is only 30 kids altogether in the local school so that means more attention from the teacher and it is mixed age classes too which is nice.

All this is in Scotland of course which may be different....

Eulalia · 31/03/2004 18:38

Also I love it at the moment, it is like living in Holland as daffodils are being farmed so all you can see is big patches of yellow, the sky and the sea