tearful phone call from son at new school

[miggy]

Feeling wretched now, just had phonecall from DS1 who started senior school weds and is boarding till friday. Apparently he is being picked on for not swearing and breaking rules and has found out that everyone has to be in at least 7 rugby matches agaainst other schools this term, on saturdays, so basically give up his sats to do something he hates and is terrified of.
He is not a "normal" child, incredibly bright, accelerated a year but terrible at sports and rigid in his behaviour-cannot swear/break rules/eat certain foods/cant bear dirt or germs/ wont touch animals etc. Im sure he is aspergers/dyspraxic spectrum somewhere but have never gone for diagnosis as he has got on so well at his previous school, they just sort of accepted him as himself, but then they had grown up with him. Now he has gone to a new school, with 13yr old boys all trying to be cool. I stupidly didnt see how hard it was going to be for him and feel awful.
Its not a home sickness thing, he has boarded before and happily gone off for residential music/drama courses alone.
Have emailed his house master but dont see how he can fix things
bugger bugger bugger

miggy, I do think that any new school would throw up issues for him; it's incredibly hard to go from being the big fish to being the newbie, specially when he obviously shone so much at the previous place.

So yes, he needs to give it a bit more of a go. BUT I think you will need to be really decisive about the boarding bit as soon as you feel you have given it all a good chance. I agree with others, if life is very difficult during that long school day it will not be healthy for this to carry on 24 hours a day for him. I believe he may even say he wants to carry on doing it, because kids do feel they don't want to 'fail' at things, and feel it's their job to do it. So you might have to be extra strong with him if you do want to stop it.

I also feel that if this school is very rigid in making him do things he hates etc, then yes it may well be worth moving him! As someone mentioned some state schools are very geared up to accepting people's individual needs, probably more than this sort of school. Your ds would also have time after 3pm to pursue his own interests and talents.

I really don't envy you, you may have a hard choice to make. It's made me thankful that I don't like boarding schools; it's easy for me, ds wouldn't be there so I wouldn't have the choice to make!