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Two 'good' friends didn't even get me a card

31 replies

Thomcat · 10/08/2006 12:43

I know in the grand scale of things this is unimportant but I can't help but feel a bit.....hurt really.

My friend, who I actually saw on my birthday, which was Monday, didn't get me a card.
I jsu think it's really odd. I see her a lot. Not only did she know as I had said to her before hand, then on the actual day I said something about it, and then I picked out some bracelets she had to sell and said 'oh I'll treat myself for my birthday seeing as how D didn't get me a present'. And I asked her out for drinks for my birthday. I don't care that she didn't get me a gift, even thought I got her a gift voucher for a massage and a bunch of flowers as well as a nice card for her a few months back.

Then another friend, who again knew it was my birthday and not only did I get her a card and a gift, I joined her for a really expensive meal out which cost me a fortune, didn't bother sendong me a card.

I just feel a bit sad about it really.

My 2 bestest mates who were with me at the big chill gave me a card but didn't have gufts for me yet.

D didn't get me a present at all.

My MIL and SIL have forgotten, no cards, nothing.

So yeah I'mm feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like I want to say to the first friend 'why did you not get me a card' but it would mean a phone call to do so as she's going to Kent for 3 weeks on Sat morning and I have no plans to see her and it seems pathetic. I should just leave it and get over it, but can't understand why she, and others, have just not bothered at all.

I should just shape up and realise that at 35 no-one bothers about you anymore and it's all about your kids right????

OP posts:
anniediv · 10/08/2006 12:46

Happy birthday, Thomcat

Blackduck · 10/08/2006 12:48

NO - I personally hate the attitude that cos you have kids and you are 35+ that your birthday doesn't count! I don't care if I don't get Xmas pressies/cards, but a birthday is YOUR day and you should be treated wonderfully (I NEVER work on my birthday on principle...) SO totally with you on this one, ;and bash D over the head...

NedKelly1978 · 10/08/2006 12:50

you did have a crap bday didn't u

Msybe you should put a big banner outside saying happy birthday thomcat and see if they take the hint then!

Happy birthday.

WatTylermoonfiend · 10/08/2006 12:51

no, agree Thomcat, I'd be pissed off too. Birthdays are very important, and if you are fortunate enough to have people around to remember - then they bloody well should remember!!!

(I have a birthday fortnight by the way, and dh has to wander around saying ''happy birthday moonie'' for DAYS I'm 36 )

Carmenere · 10/08/2006 12:51

Oh dear poor you, I can't help but feel really neglected when that kind of thing happens to me

Here is a lovely cake for your birthday

WatTylermoonfiend · 10/08/2006 12:52

Doh, forgot to say *HAPPY BIRTHDAY**

I'm just icing your cake, how long will it take you to get round here?

TutterOtsky · 10/08/2006 12:53

happy belated birthday!

my birthday is january 1st. everyone forgets. even my mum one year

VladimirllichLeninQV · 10/08/2006 12:54

Belated Happy Birthday TC.

Can only suggest not bothering/making the effort for them in future. Doesnt help you right now though, does it?

I wouldnt make a point of it to anyone or anything either. Just don't do anything for Xmas and see what happens.

suejonez · 10/08/2006 12:55

"I should just shape up and realise that at 35 no-one bothers about you anymore and it's all about your kids right???? "

WRONG - it's just that sometimes people are arses.

I've probably done it myself and not realised that everyone else has forgotten/not bothered too.

Happy Birthday.

Thomcat · 10/08/2006 12:56

He's been bashed and he's since boufght flowers and cooked dinner but tbh, not good enough. I'm not going round not talking to him, but he knows I'm hurt and I'm just being a bit quiet with him

MIL - she forgot last year too.

My frienmd who knew though and din't bother with a card even though I've seen her every day since and is now away for 3 weeks. I just feel I want her to know I'm hurt but don't know how woithout making a big issue of it and being pathetic, so know I just have to get over it but it's really bugging me today as I know that as of today I won't see her for 3 weeks. When she comes abck it'll all be forgotten but ......

Thank God for my lovley mum, dad and sister otherwise I really would hve got sod all.

I thought I was a nice person who did nice things for other people but seems like everyone just thinks I'm an old bag or something. I NEVER forget anyone'sbiorthday which is why I feel so peeved that noone's bothered with me this year.

Proper wallowing aren't I, sorry.

OP posts:
MissyCocker · 10/08/2006 12:58

happy birthday Thomcat

Thomcat · 10/08/2006 13:01

Thanks for your birthday wishes and links to make me feel better and
And for not making me feel like a pathetic, sorry for herself, old moo.
XXXX

OP posts:
notasheep · 10/08/2006 13:09

Happy Birthday Thomcat,i do the same,buy for everyone,make sure cards arrive early and yet who else can be bothered.
Its my birthday tomorrow and i am already trying to prepare myself for being soooooooooo disappointed.

Birthdays are special whatever your age.

At least dp really trys to make it special,flowers have arrived early,champagne in fridge and he is making me a cake with dd this afternoon.

As for MIL forget it!!! and yet when its her birthday i spent a fortune to keep her happy at The Clinique Counter.

I dont think many people realise how selfcentred,thoughtless and greedy they are theses days

Bugsy2 · 10/08/2006 13:22

Happy Birthday Thomcat. Horrible feeling neglected on your birthday. I got so hacked off with no one making an effort, I make big announcements beforehand now to avoid disappointment. Bit of self-promotion works wonders!

CheekymonkeysGreatestHits · 10/08/2006 13:35

I know how you feel! One of our 'best friends' hasn't really been in touch since the birth of our first son in March 05. I've sent christmas and birthday cards & pressies for their kids but nothing was forthcoming for any of ours.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!

theladyvanishes · 10/08/2006 14:33

happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear thomcat, happy birthday to you

ps i would be peeved as well

Mascaraohara · 10/08/2006 14:35

Happy Birthday TC!!

Californifrau · 10/08/2006 14:38

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wilbur · 10/08/2006 14:42

Fair enough to be peeved TC - and Happy Birthday from us! I INSIST on a bit of a fuss on my b'day, not huge pressies, just breakfast in bed, cards and a bit of attention. It's my reward for all the effing fishfingers I dole out day after day. I would have a word with your dh and tell him how hurt you're feeling.

cupcakes · 10/08/2006 14:43

Happy Birthday TC.
Sorry that your friends have let you down this year.

cutekids · 10/08/2006 14:49

are you sure they haven't planned a surprise party for you at the weekend or something? don't get your hopes up like ,but you never know....!?

Sparkler1 · 10/08/2006 14:52

cutekids - I was going to say exactly the same thing. Seems weird that they all haven't bothered. Maybe there is a surprise around the corner.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ME THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

cutekids · 10/08/2006 14:52

By the way, this happens to me nearly every year since i turned 30. i know for a fact if i forget theirs' they'd be well upset but - childish, i know!- i did it this year! (to be honest, the last one wasn't intentional.i'd bought the card and suddenly realized the day of her birthday that i'd not posted it.however, i decided not to post it and see what happened....not heard from her yet!)

ForFawkesSake · 10/08/2006 14:54

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HAVE A ZIPPIDEE DOO DA OF A DAY!!

It's keck when folk forget your birthday. Mine is just after new year and some of my pals always forget despite them making a big song and dance when it's their own birthdays! I've resigned myself to only ever getting about 3 cards and I'll never have a party coz no-one can be arsed turning up.

18th - me and a pal went for a Chinese meal
21st - OK so lots turned up in the pub but it was a few days after my actual birthday
30th - 4 people appeared, 2 best pals, one good pal and the good pal's pal!!!

FioFio · 10/08/2006 14:55

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