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Original poster

Oh no, I may be forced to give up work!

33 replies

oliveoil · 08/08/2006 11:22

MIL was rushed into hospital about 6 weeks ago for emergency hernia op and I have been doing 2 days a week instead of 3 and juggling with dh to cover childcare.

Back to normal this week, or so we thought. MIL is finding it very hard to deal with them both, lifting them up, is tired etc.

Dh reckons I will have to give up work, nursery not an option as for two it would not really be worth it.

We are supposed to be moving house soon but there is no way if our mortgage is going to double, not on one wage.

Fcuk fcuk fcuk

Anyone else been 'forced' to leave work and how did you manage money wise???

xx

OP posts:
Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 11:23

also, it would mean no more MN

OP posts:
Bozza · 08/08/2006 11:27

You could pick up a cheap PC olive surely?

Maybe your MIL has not yet had enough recovery time. Do you think another month might help? Surely DD1 doesn't really need much in the way of lifting. Would parttime nursery for DD2 be possible? DD1 is at pre-school anyway isn't she?

Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 11:29

I have a pc at home but do not use it when looking after kids [halo emoticon].

I have used up all my hols so cannot have anymore time off this year.

Dd1 is at playgroup but not back until Sept, so MIL has them both.

It may be dh doing his headless chicken impression but it doesn't sound like she can cope.

OP posts:
Bibliophile · 08/08/2006 11:33

HOw old are children? Can you take some unpaid/compassionate/parental leave? Talk to your employer before you jump ship!

Bibliophile · 08/08/2006 11:33

HOw old are children? Can you take some unpaid/compassionate/parental leave? Talk to your employer before you jump ship!

Aimsmum · 08/08/2006 11:34

Message withdrawn

Bibliophile · 08/08/2006 11:35

This is stuff on parental leavefrom the DTI

Bozza · 08/08/2006 11:35

Or what about a playgroup type place for DD2? Round here they take them from age 2 to be left there for a couple of hours.

Katymac · 08/08/2006 11:36

What about a short term contract with a childminder?

You could do one til September nd then see if MIL can cope

A C/Mer and you MIL maybe able to do shared care for a few weeks after that

It may cost a bit in the short-term but it might be for just 1 or 2 months?

Bozza · 08/08/2006 11:37

Maybe a good candidate for some unpaid parental leave until DD1 back at playgroup and MIL a bit more recuperated?

Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 11:41

Oh, I am fretting probably but I am just eeeeeeek at not having my money coming in.

Come September it will probably be ok(ish) but I can't see me having anymore time off, I have already done 6 weeks on reduced time and they are good but may get a bit pi$$ed.

dd1 is 3, 4 in October
dd1 is 2 this month, so will be at playgroup February 07.

OP posts:
Bibliophile · 08/08/2006 11:45

You are legally entitled to parental leave. I bet they'd rather lose you for a few weeks than have to go to all the bother of recruiting and training a replacement.

liquidclocks · 08/08/2006 12:11

From a health point of view - give your MIL some more time if you can - 6 wks is probably not long enough to get completely back to normal.

Also - take your legal rights seriously, if we don't use them employers will never learn how to accomodate for them, you won't just be helping yourself but other parents who find themselves in similar situations in the future.

Have you considered getting childcare vouchers? They make the difference for me in making it worth going to work - even if your MIL has them for one day and they go to nursery 2 days or other way round it might still be worth working.

Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 14:32

Bibliophile - thanks, just read your link, is that right that I can get 13 weeks parental leave? Have not heard of this. I knew I could take 5 days a year or something (?????) but not this much.

May have to take it, dh has had to leave work again to take the girls from MIL .

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Northerner · 08/08/2006 14:35

Hi Olive. Well rejoice at the idea of dh saying you need to give up work, but alas at the idea of losing your income and possible new house

Have you considered working evenings when dh is home as opposed to during the day?

foxinsocks · 08/08/2006 14:40

I had to give up work due to dd's health. We had to seriously downsize and I found myself feeling quite resentful for a long time because I felt I had been 'forced' into the situation (which is ridiculous really but it's that feeling that control of your own life has been taken away from you!).

I would give MIL some more time. Your eldest should get a nursery place now (that is subsidised) - I know that only covers half a day but that should be every day.

Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 14:48

I could work at night I suppose but then I would be 'working' all the time!

I think I may have to speak to work - have assessment thingy tmrw, ironic timing...- so will see what they say.

May have to be off till September when playgroup starts, then she will have them both from 8am-9am then only dd2, then both from 3pm -4pm.

I WANT A NEW HOUSE AND IT IS NOT FRIGGIN FAIR!

and dh informs me they are off to Australia in March for a MONTH! Sigh.

OP posts:
fairyjay · 08/08/2006 14:56

On a positive note, if they're planning Australia for a month, she can't be feeling too awful. Probably just needs a bit more time.

foxinsocks · 08/08/2006 14:58

what work do you do olive?

Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 14:59

accounts

but I used to fold jumpers in Benetton so am adaptable!

My dream would be to work for the school that is down the road that the girls will go to but that is probably the dream of half the mums in the area.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 08/08/2006 15:03

you'd be surprised - probably fewer mums want that than you think (unless you are in ultra pushy mum area)

Northerner · 08/08/2006 15:07

Well you're working all the time now aren't you - your either a mum or an accounts assistant.

Original poster
oliveoil · 08/08/2006 15:08

no, I mean I would be working all day looking after the girls and then working again at night.

At least now I have my nights to myself (dd2 dependant).

OP posts:
Northerner · 08/08/2006 15:09

Oh I see. Yes I understand now.

bundle · 08/08/2006 15:10

accounts might stand you in good stead in middle-class-mothers-fighting-for-same-job-at-conveniently-situated-school fight

but make sure MN access is written into contract

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