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Original poster

So just when I said that Sitters was ok....

40 replies

JoshandJamie · 07/08/2006 15:17

there was a previous post where someone was asking about Sitters and whether they're any good. To date, I've thought they are fab - use them regularly.

However, on Saturday we had the girl we usually get from Sitters - always been great. Only this time, she helped herself to a packet of crisps I was saving for a picnic on Sunday, ate half and put the rest back. And she took two diet cokes out of the fridge.

Now half a bag of crips and two soft drinks isn't a big deal - but helping yourself without asking is. i don't like the thought of her browsing through our cupboards and just taking what she likes.

BUT WORSE. My husband knows he left his £200 worth Mont Blanc pen on the dresser in the kitchen as he'd used it to write out the telephone number of the place we were going. And on Sunday morning when he looked for it, it was gone. Now admittedly we have small children who might have taken it, but we have searched everywhere for it and it's gone. I can't accuse her of taking it, but it seems awfully suspicious. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I knew she was doing some puzzles when we got home so I thought she might well have gone in search of a pen and used the mont blanc and then just packed it up with her puzzles - easy enough to do.

I called Sitters (who were great) and they called her and got back to me. Apparently she admits to taking a coke but denied taking any food. She also said she didn't know what a mont blanc pen is and used her own biros for the puzzles she was doing. She is the only one who could have eaten the crisps - so she's lying. And if she's lying about that, then she could be lying about the pen.

Fairly obviously we won't be using her again. Sitters have asked whether we would like to make a formal police complaint against her. Personally, without knowing for sure what happened to the pen, I'm loathe to do it. But I feel really violated. And if she did take that pen I am thoroughly pissed off as it cost a lot and was an anniversary gift from me to my DH.

grrr

OP posts:

FioFio · 07/08/2006 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

proudofmyboobs · 07/08/2006 15:20

Who in the world would spend £200 on a pen???

And if I'm honest, a bag of crisps and a can of diet coke is hardly stealing.

welshmum · 07/08/2006 15:22

Hope the pen turns up as that's way out of order.

As for the food/drink though - did you make it clear that was out of bounds? I wouldn't mind what they ate or drank - unless I'd said specifically 'please don't eat x or y'
As for Sitters we're never had anything but a good service from them - someone did take the Guardian Guide home one night but I think that was an accident

Original poster

JoshandJamie · 07/08/2006 15:23

Fio - she claims that she doesn't know what a mont blanc pen is so she may well not know. Its a fairly recognisable logo and it looks expensive. But you're right, I don't know the average cost of a pen - just know that my DH loves Mont Blanc.

Proudofmyboobs - people with disposable income before they had children would spend that much on a pen if it was for a very special occasion and knowing that it was something meaningful to the person it was bought for.

OP posts:

Original poster

JoshandJamie · 07/08/2006 15:25

Welshmum - i didn't specifically say: don't eat the crisps or drink the soda because they're for a picnic. What I did say was: please help yourself to tea or coffee. Thats it. I didn't invite her to help herself to other stuff.

And Sitters consider helping yourself without express permission to take something as an offence. If I had said: there's a bag of crisps and sodas - please help yourself. That would be ok. But it's not ok to take something without asking first.

It's not the loss of crisps and soda - it's that someone's been in my cupboards and had a good look around and just helped themselves.

OP posts:

melrose · 07/08/2006 15:27

The pen is very bad, although I suspect she would not have known its value.

Think the food and drink is a bit excessive though, do you not let your babysitters have any? I always tell ours to help themselves to what they want and certainly would have thought nothing of drinking a can of coke when I used to babysit.

welshmum · 07/08/2006 15:28

Maybe she did take the pen after doing puzzles without realising its worth and now daren't admit as it will look like theft.....
How old are your children? My ds is constantly 'putting things away' - in the recycling bin, the rubbish bin, the loo....could that have happened

FioFio · 07/08/2006 15:28

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Message withdrawn

Ellaroo · 07/08/2006 15:34

I think the food and drink is fine (I'd have been quite shocked when I used to babysit as a teenager if someone hadn't left the odd biscuit or two out for me, and remember when I was very young my mum used to make up enormous trays of goodies for our babysitters). Perhaps she denied taking the crisps because she felt embarrassed - she was probably hungry and then felt humiliated when her agency phoned her up to question her about it. The pen does sound odd though - maybe she did take it without realising how much it cost or maybe it has been temporarily misplaced - I think to get the pen issue sorted out I would probably not mention the food and drink. Huge sympathies though - that's really upsetting when you lose/have something stolen that has such sentimental value though - hope you get it back.

Reginald · 07/08/2006 15:41

I agree with welshmum that if she had taken the pen home unintentionally (few people would know the value of a Mont Blanc pen), then received a call from Sitters interrogating her about taking a couple of cans of coke and half a packet of crisps, then she'd be unlikely to admit to picking up the pen for fear of your reaction.

I really think you're being mean about the coke/crisps - "violated" because your babysitter took something to eat and drink?! That's just ridiculous!

welshmum · 07/08/2006 15:45

This may sound like a small thing too but unless you hide your coke and crisps right at the back of your cupboards then presumably they'd be quite easy to spot and she wouldn't need to have 'good look around'....
Understandably the lost pen is making you pretty cross though

Original poster

JoshandJamie · 07/08/2006 15:49

Maybe I am being mean. I've offered her food in the past - and when I've offered stuff in the past, I would point out what she could have. But she always brought her own. So I've now just offered tea and coffee. But I would NEVER help myself to something from someone else's house without it having been expressly offered or qualifying whether I could have it.

And even so, if she was starving and decided she wanted something, I feel that when we arrived home she could have said: hope it's ok but I was ravenous so i had some of your crisps. I really don't care about the crisps (although it was annoying not having them when they'd be specifically bought for the next day). It's just that it seemed rude.

But she didn't.

OP posts:

Original poster

JoshandJamie · 07/08/2006 15:50

cokes were easy to find in the fridge. The crisps were fairly well hidden in the cupboard up high so kids couldn't see them.

OP posts:

Ellaroo · 07/08/2006 15:57

Yes, I can see your point - it would have been better to have mentioned it when you got home. I too would never go into someone elses cupboard, but maybe with sitters in future always leave something out to stop it from happening. Sounds like she might have told a couple of white lies that have now turned into a big lie because of how expensive the pen is.

wartywarthog · 07/08/2006 18:42

partly i think it's the principle of taking the food and then lying about it. yes, it's a small thing, but trust has been violated - she's been rifling through your cupboards.

a mont blanc is a totally different story. when you pick up one of those pens you know it's special. it FEELS expensive and i don't know how anyone could mistakenly take it. the logo is very distinctive. i'd be mighty pissed off, but don't know what you can do about it.

Chandra · 07/08/2006 18:54

I really hope you don't find that pen somewhere else in the future, I really do. You would feel awful knowing that you have ruined the reputation of somebody and probably caused a dent on her income.

To be honest, I would not have contacted the office unless I was completely and beyond doubt sure that nobody in the house had misplaced it. Which is almost an imposible thing to be sure about a pen, sticky things they are and they tend to be left in the most unlikely places AND in a family setting.

As for the food... a packet of crisps and a coke, wouldn't it had been easier to have a word with her?

smurfgirl · 07/08/2006 19:49

I used to babysit a lot and honestly I often would open a cupboard to find something to eat/drink I don't drink tea or coffee so when it was left out it was useless to me. I often had to eat my tea early to be in time to babysit so I would get hungry in the evening. In saying this most families invited me to find something to eat myself or left some food out. Frankly if someone had complained about me because I ate some crisps I would not go back to them. Sorry.

The pen seems kind of odd but?? I would never take someone else's pen home even a friends, it seems unlikely. Would you have suspected her had she not had the coke and crisps?

LIZS · 07/08/2006 19:54

good point smurfgirl . Any chance she may have used it for her puzzles and it slipped down the side of an armchair ? Seems an odd thing to snaffle tbh.

Could she have given the kids some crisps if they'd asked for a snack or your dh have had some ?

juuule · 07/08/2006 20:05

Well I for one would have had no idea what a mont blanc was. I have never heard of the make before this thread. If I had seen one before now I'd have had no idea it was so expensive.

Original poster

JoshandJamie · 07/08/2006 20:35

She wouldn't have given the kids crisps - they're only 2 and 11 months old and they were asleep. DH didn't eat them - believe me I bollocked him first but he didn't eat them.

I did check down the sides of the chair to make sure it wasn't there.

I really do hope we find the pen - and if we do, I will get on the phone to Sitters ASAP. I already told them that I couldn't be sure it was her and that we may well find it but I wanted it noted. She hasn't been taken off their register or anything so she won't lose income - we just won't have her assigned to us anymore. I didn't want to cause her any harm without being 100% certain (although how we can ever be I don't know) which is why I didn't lodge a formal complaint with them - which they assured me was my right to do.

As far as leaving food out - as I said before - maybe I am just mean. But I think when you're paying a sitting company, it's a bit different to if you have a friend over. If a friend babysat for me, I would probably provide her a full cooked meal and would have no qualms about her helping herself to stuff. But these sitters are supposedly professional sitters who I pay a fair whack for so I don't see why I need to supply a steady supply of snacks too. When I go to a client over lunchtime, I don't expect them to feed me!

Honestly, I have always offered her stuff in the past and told her what there is - maybe that's why she felt she had carte blanche to take what she wanted. But I knew I didn't have much in the cupboard because we're moving house in two days time and the cupboards are full of staples, not snacks. So I didn't offer her anything because the only thing there was were the crisps - which were for the picnic.

Anyway, am tired of explaining myself. It's a crap situation - and that's that.

OP posts:

Chandra · 07/08/2006 20:41

Do you know that saying sorry doesn't undo the things? a note should be placed in her file and the moment another client complains about a missing square of toilet paper you will have them saying..."see? she was not honest".

wartywarthog · 07/08/2006 21:36

she lied about the crisps and the extra can of coke... why didn't she just tell the truth in the beginning? that's why there's doubt cast on the pen business.

proudofmyboobs · 07/08/2006 21:45

And the thing about the crisps...were they expensive crisps? Do the shops not open on a Sunday where you are from? I would have bought another bag of crisps

I hope the pen turns up, and when it does you owe that girl a huge apology.

What age of a girl is she?

CountessDracula · 07/08/2006 21:47

can't you claim on the insurance? It will turn up I bet

fwiw I have a mont blanc, have had it for about 8 years and never lost it, so I reckon I have saved well over £200 in horrid bic things in that time

proudofmyboobs · 07/08/2006 21:47

Did you ask her right out about the crisps and coke? I would be furious if you went to my employees and told them I snacked on a bag of crisps... a

"I had them saved especially for a picnic" Erm, that sounds a bit petty actually, but I can see that if she lied about that much then you would doubt her over the pen too

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