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Original poster

What age is middle aged? Or is it a state of mind rather than an age? And are you middle aged or not?

74 replies

WideWebWitch · 22/07/2006 13:28

I was wondering this as I was in the hairdresser this morning. I'm sure I must be middle aged, being 39 and all but I don't feel it. I know some of my attitudes are and some aren't but what do you reckon mumsnetters? Is it an age and if so, what age or is it attitude and behaviour?

OP posts:
chenin · 22/07/2006 19:54

thank you blu! I shall carry on with the jeans then! Having lost 3 stones in the last 2 years, I sorta feel justified....!

all4girlz · 22/07/2006 20:56

I am nearly forty and feel the same as I did 10 yrs ago middle aged is a state of mind I think.
4 girls 3 under 5 will be keeping me young for a long time I hope!!

Not giving up the skinny jeans yet (If I could get in them that is lol)

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 23/07/2006 09:26

There's a piece in this months Red magazine about this with a list and pictures of women over 40, the ones I can remember are Demi Moore, Cindy Crawford, Teri Hatcher, Sarah JP.

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Cam · 23/07/2006 09:38

I do feel middle-aged but actually that's quite good as young people see me as old

Just a word of warning, that thing about time moving faster as you get older is totally true, I've just whizzed through the fastest decade of my life so far (40 to 50) but it may have been speeded up by watching dd grow from 0 to nearly 10

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 23/07/2006 11:15

Cam, I feel a bit like that about 30 to 40, ds was born when I was 30 and dd when I was 37 and omg, it's gone FAST!

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Pruni · 23/07/2006 12:09

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mousiemousie · 23/07/2006 12:49

I am 38. I think middle age starts at around 35 and old age starts at 60 or 65. Most folk are in denial though.

You can have a young or an old attitude but your age is your age!

motherinferior · 23/07/2006 13:04

Hey, WWW, I was at the hairdresser too yesterday, and said 'I want a haircut that doesn't scream "43 year old mother of two",' to which the charming bloke hairdresser said, 'Well, I'm 45 and I think we can both look chic, don't you?"'

I don't think that I'm particularly middle aged although am clearly not young (I can, however, get away with knocking the best part of a decade off my Real Years). Interestingly, I think some of my contemporaries definitely are middle aged, though. The ones who have Wholeheartedly Embraced Respectability. I myself am just degenerating into a disgraceful old age, and am rather enjoying the process

winnie · 23/07/2006 13:34

middle age is definitely a state of mind.
I am 36 and some days feel very middle aged

motherinferior · 23/07/2006 13:35

I'm very boring, on account of having two kids and not getting out much, of course.

puff · 23/07/2006 13:45

I'm 41 and when I put on a lot of weight 5 years ago, as I approached my late 30's, I suddenly felt very middle aged. It was a mental as well as physical thing though - my Mum's suicide made me feel old as I think the mental anguish wore me down and I felt permanently exhausted by the grief. Then the extra weight I piled on (8 stone) literally dragged me down and made me feel ancient and not really fit enough to manage a toddler and baby.

Now, I've got rid of most of the weight and realised I must move on from the grief, there is a spring in my step again, I'm enjoying looking after myself (make up, hair, weight, fitness) and am not ready to succumb to being middle aged just yet!

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 23/07/2006 14:05

Oh these are interesting answers, great posts everyone! Pruni, too at your MUM being 50, how can it be so?! Eeek, I'M about to be 40 and constantly think "she's not old enough to have GROWN UP children" when looking at people my age when in fact of course she's old enough to have grown up children, as am I, it's just that I don't, I have a nearly 9yo and nearly 3yo. I think I've been in denial about my age for a while actually, well, plus haven't had that much time to think about it properly iykwim but I'm starting to think maybe it is attitude. I have friends who've been middle aged for a while and others who seemingly never will be.

That mother/MIL comparison is interesting too, my mum is 64 but looks loads younger and is very with it (i.e. has a better digital camera than we do AND knows how to work it) plus she has an adopted 9yo daughter so knows all about Bratz and 9yo girlie stuff and I think it's partly that that's kept her young. Whereas dh's mother is only 6 years older, BUT I've known her since she was my mothers age and even then she was an old lady in demeanour and attitude. I think she's been middle aged for most of her life.

MI, hooray for nice hairdressers, mine was a bloke yesterday too.

OP posts:
Original poster
WideWebWitch · 23/07/2006 14:06

Actually, maybe I am middle aged, using phrases like 'with it' as I just did. Blimey, must watch that

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mytwopenceworth · 23/07/2006 14:16

officially, middle aged is always 10 years older than you are. so none of us have anything to worry about!

I think it is an attitude to life. I have met some 'middle aged' folks in their 20's (sooooooo dull and terribly serious and earnest) and some youthful 60-somethings!

ks · 23/07/2006 14:35

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Pruni · 23/07/2006 15:42

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ks · 23/07/2006 16:03

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motherinferior · 23/07/2006 20:37

I feel a great urge to share with you all - with as many people as possible, actually, I may stop strangers in the street to tell them - that today, at a low key sort of child-friendly do, someone asked me as we were talking vaguely about how many kids we'd got "did you have yours young?" And he could see my children (one's five and one's three).

I looked at him and absolutely preened as I said, as coolly as I could manage under the somewhat thrilling circumstances, that I'd had them old, at 37 and 41.

That hairdresser deserves a large tip, I reckon

spidermama · 23/07/2006 20:39

50 plus. There but for the grace of God and all that.
I'm 40 now and I can't be middle aged. I like McFly's version of Don't Stop Me Now fgs!

motherinferior · 23/07/2006 20:39

(That should be 37 and 40. But I started off by saying I was 43. I was oh so madly gratified by the look on his face )

spidermama · 23/07/2006 20:42

Oooh MI. How lovely.
When I was pg with my 3rd at 35 I remember a really gorgeous, fine mannered young man in a lift saying to me, 'This is your first, yes?'

Drifting off glassy eyed

Blu · 23/07/2006 21:56

"I think some of my contemporaries definitely are middle aged, though."

Is that me you're talking about, MI? eh? Eh?

Actually, I am aware of being quite 'mature'. MN points that up, too. I don's go on many 'chat' threads, I have done a lot, experienced a lot one way and another - some quite hairy, and not much frightens me any more. I am, famously on MN, 'sensible'. But it isn't the same as 'missle-aged', I think!

tenalady · 23/07/2006 21:58

oh I think I will consider myself middle aged at 50. Not too many wrinkles yet so my judgement will be made on my physical appearance rather that how I feel.

nikkie · 23/07/2006 22:06

I think of it as being 50-60 ish although it does depend on the person
I am 27 and have friends in their 40s and 50s who I don't think of as being 'middle aged'

finefatmama · 23/07/2006 22:17

It's a mind thing definitely. I turned middle aged at 30.
My dad on the other hand thinks he's a bloke and a teenager.

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