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Original poster

If you knew another mum was driving your child without a seatbelt would you say something?

49 replies

glassofwine · 19/07/2006 16:39

Myself and two other mothers alternate taking our DD's to an after school class. It was my turn this week and was fussing with them about seatbelts they are all 7, my DD said ok * mum doesn't make us wear seatbelts. It's been playing on my mind now and although the journey is no longer than 3 mins in a residential area, so not fast driving I'm wondering if and how I should say something.

Also I have 3 LO's and on this day collect another 3, making a total of 7 of us in the car, which is fine as it seats 7. The other mum has 4 children and a similar sized car, so does that mean when it's her turn that one of them isn't in a seat at all?

What do you think?

OP posts:
Pamina3 · 19/07/2006 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cupcakes · 19/07/2006 16:41

God, yes. Seatbelts on or the car doesn't go anywhere.

LeahE · 19/07/2006 16:45

I would have to either say something or just switch to not letting my DD ride with her any more (which would probably be even more fraught as the other mother wouldn't know why). It may be just three minutes but most accidents occur close to home and it's just plain not safe, if your DD is right (could she just be trying on the "X's mum never..." tactic, a la "X's mum always lets them eat sweets between meals", without a solid foundation in reality?). Maybe start with something like "I know this is probably a silly question, but something one of the girls said last week implied they don't wear seatbelts in your car..."

KTeePee · 19/07/2006 16:45

I personally wouldn't let my child travel with that woman again, especially as she seems to be carrying more children than she has seats for. Ok we all remember not having seatbelts in the back when we were kids and 6 kids plus a dog piled in, etc. etc but it's not good enough these days.

There was a court case recently where a mother was taking her child plus friends to a birthday outing, the car was over-loaded, crashed and several of the children died. She was sent to jail.

From September they should all be in booster seats too if this is a regular occurence.

Original poster
glassofwine · 19/07/2006 17:02

I'm fairly sure it's not my DD just saying it as the family live close by and I've seen them driving past and thought that the LO's didn't look strapped in.

The thing is how to say it? We have two sets of children in the same class so I have to see her regularly.

Also there are the other two mothers involved, one is a very close friend and I could talk to her about it without making a mountain out of it, but the other one I don't know so well.

It's not her turn untill Sept, so it's not an immediate problem, but was thinking about explaining to DD that she should insist even if the grown up isn't bothered.

OP posts:
controlfreaky · 19/07/2006 17:03

yes i bloomin well would! (in answer to the subject header....)

Kelly1978 · 19/07/2006 17:05

I would go with insisting to your dd. My dd is 6, has been told what will happen to her if she doesn't have a belt on and I crash, and insists on wearing one. She panicks if she can't get it in, and no way would she travel without one.

beansprout · 19/07/2006 17:06

The question is, could you live with yourself if something happened but you hadn't said something for fear of someone who is acting irresponsibly, being offended?

Clary · 19/07/2006 17:08

I agree with KTeePee. Really not mad about other people driving my children anyway, and always offer my car seat.

Clary · 19/07/2006 17:08
CarolinaMoose · 19/07/2006 17:17

Don't feel you're making a mountain out of a molehill - it's horrifically unsafe .

If this woman is doing 30 and someone pulls out unexpectedly or whatever, anyone without a seatbelt will be v badly injured - if not worse .

agree with LeahE's way of phrasing it diplomatically, but don't feel embarrassed to be mentioning it.

EmmyLou · 19/07/2006 17:17

def say something. She's breaking the law isn't she? Have told my kids not to get in another mum's car unless with seat belts and to ask the other parent to ring me if they have a problem with this.

zippitippitoes · 19/07/2006 17:19

it's a risk for all the passengers. I would definitely make sure that she isn't overloading the car (more passengers than seats) as this is an offence and invalidates her insurance.

Original poster
glassofwine · 19/07/2006 19:42

I know you're all right, I'm very strict about seatbelts/car seats myself - it's just that not wanting to offend thing, but obviously DD is worth offending if thats what I have to do.

OP posts:
MrsJohnCusack · 19/07/2006 19:49

NO SEATBELTS? Is the woman mad?

Doesn't matter how slowly she drives and how short the journey is, not a lot she could do about someone driving into her is there....

so yes, I would say something. If she is offended, then that really is her problem and not yours.

cleaninglady · 19/07/2006 19:50

Definately say something - its the law from september anyway that even older children will need booster seats as well so maybe you could approach it that way and say with this new law from september we dont want any of us getting fined or points on licence so shall we sort out how many children should be in the car and what seats/boosters we need?

grumpyfrumpy · 19/07/2006 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vitomum · 19/07/2006 19:56

i also agree with KTeePee

ghosty · 19/07/2006 20:04

TNH I am surprised that you are asking us if you should say something ... I'd have done it the minute the child told me they weren't wearing seatbelts.
The thing to point out to this woman is that no matter how safely/slowly she drives it won't stop a nutter/boyracer/out of control lorry/whatever bashing into her ...

Marina · 19/07/2006 20:07

Yes, as KTeePee says come September we are finally catching up with the rest of Europe and insisting on safe seating for children between 4-11. Until now I've been fine about seatbelts-only if we are both offered lifts somewhere but I would definitely say something to this woman glassofwine. A mother killed several of her son's friends in a recent tragic accident where they were not all belted in.

popsycal · 19/07/2006 20:11

I wouldnt let my kids travel in a car when I knew they were not going to wear seat belts.

Definitely say something

peasinapod · 19/07/2006 20:14

I had this dilemma today a friend invited my ds for tea and to go swimming in his auntys pool ( in this weather what a bonus) The grandad was going to take them over there but the kids would have to sit in the back of his van ,I said how about if I follow you over there then I could come and pick him up from the auntys . He seemed happy with this and I certainly was as he couldnt have gone otherwise pool or no pool .

apronstrings · 19/07/2006 20:15

yes definately - haven't read thread but YES YES YES - we had a horrendous car crash in November -and I was driving so I know that even if your being careful theres no accounting for who else is on the road. Not worth the risk -you have to say something

apronstrings · 19/07/2006 20:16

incidently - all mine also have to be in child seats - including the 10 year old!!

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 19/07/2006 20:21

No I would cancel the whole arrangement if necessary. Say you've just realised she must not have room in the car so it's obviously not working is it? If she says it's ok with her say yeah well it's not something I'm happy with for my kids.
I think this is always something worth nagging your kids about - tell them horror stories about seatbelts to fire their imaginations so they do it automatically.
If it's only a very short journey can you not make your own walking bus and alternate 'drivers'?

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