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Original poster

If you knew another mum was driving your child without a seatbelt would you say something?

49 replies

glassofwine · 19/07/2006 16:39

Myself and two other mothers alternate taking our DD's to an after school class. It was my turn this week and was fussing with them about seatbelts they are all 7, my DD said ok * mum doesn't make us wear seatbelts. It's been playing on my mind now and although the journey is no longer than 3 mins in a residential area, so not fast driving I'm wondering if and how I should say something.

Also I have 3 LO's and on this day collect another 3, making a total of 7 of us in the car, which is fine as it seats 7. The other mum has 4 children and a similar sized car, so does that mean when it's her turn that one of them isn't in a seat at all?

What do you think?

OP posts:

tissy · 19/07/2006 20:21

how far away is the class if they walk it? If you need the other Mum to take your dd, and she doesn't have enough seats in the car, could you suggest that they do the trip on foot when it's her turn?

MadamePlatypus · 19/07/2006 20:40

Maybe a tactful way of getting to the bottom of what is going on would be to ask her what she is going to do when the law changes?

MamaG · 19/07/2006 20:41

I wouldn't hesitate to say something and if she continued, I would stop my child going with her. No doubt.

Original poster

glassofwine · 19/07/2006 21:18

Have spoken to DD tonight and she is clear that she's not to get into any car unless she has a seatbelt, even if the grown up says. In the meantime I like Madame P's idea of asking what she's going to do in September. Now I better find out more about that. Our car has integral child seats, so hopefully I'm covered.

OP posts:

Caligula · 19/07/2006 21:25

Just to give you some more ammunition, since I saw this leaflet nobody has ever been able to make me feel like a neurotic overprotective loony about this issue ever again.

mrsdarcy · 19/07/2006 21:35

That's one scary leaflet Caligula. Very effective.

Callisto · 19/07/2006 21:52

Bloody hell, that has chilled me to the bone. Good find Caligula.

doobydoo · 19/07/2006 21:54

YES,YES,YES.You must tell her...how bloody irresponsible of her.

tenalady · 19/07/2006 21:58

bloody hell WOULD I. my ds4.5 does his own seat belt and I would really encourage yours to do the same regardless of what anyone else tells him.

hulababy · 19/07/2006 22:00

I would definitely say something and if it continued I would not allow my child in that car again. Seatbelts AND car seats are essential as far as I am concerned.

Angeliz · 19/07/2006 22:02

ABSOLUTELY!!

Infact i had another child with me (aged 5) the other day and her Mum said 'oh she'll be fine in the back without a booster' but dp gave me his anyway as I wasn't comfortable.
Takes less than 3 minutes to have a crash unfortunately.
Sorry but it would be a mountain if she crashed !

milward · 19/07/2006 22:07

Should give this leaflet out to parents - good to highlight it Caligula.

Where I am it's usual for kids not to wear seat belts. I'm seen as strange at school as my kids are always in proper carseats. We had to offer to take kids out for a class trip. The teacher & others thought it odd that I was taking only one extra kid dispite having a 7 seater car. My reason was that I only had one extra car seat & as he driver was responsible for the passengers. Others packed kids into their cars & this is why I always drive for school outings & I'd never let another parent drive my kids around as they just wouldn't understand even if I gave them a car seat to use.

edam · 19/07/2006 22:30

Thanks for the leaflet Caligula, horrifying reminder why this is important.

Glassofwine, I'd stop accepting the lifts, if I were you.

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 19/07/2006 23:19

I've got a friend with a toddler who doesn't drive but doesn't seem to understand how important carseats are - I've had to say no to her request for a lift before and one time she did have a carseat she didn't know how to strap it in so she just stuck it next to her on the seat. I only found out on the way back and did it for her.
Mind you, she seemed quite shocked about some aspects of childbirth so I'm quite sure she won't be lurking on Mumsnet . Some people's lack of curiosity never fails to amaze me.

beef · 19/07/2006 23:22

I wouldn't let her drive my child again.

If you need to tell an adult (and a mother to boot!) that a seat belt should be worn at all times you're on a hiding to nothing.

How irresponsible.

mysonsmummy · 20/07/2006 00:09

you shodn't need to ask - i don't like ds going with other people really anyway.

if you know there are nore children than seats did you not 'think maybe my d* is sitting on someones lap' and ask her how she got them all in?

iamapieceofcheesecake · 20/07/2006 00:15

Definitely say something. Most accidents happen within 5 miles of the home or something like that. Also it might not be that you/the other mother is driving fast, but believe me, you get some right twats on the road that either:

don't have a speedo in their car
are too thick to read it or
don't give a shite about the law!

psychomum5 · 20/07/2006 00:18

I have now had two nasty car accidents.

One 6yrs ago, one this May just gone. Both not my fault, both less than a mile from my house, and both with at least one of my children in the car. (altho thankfully no-one elses child). In both cases it was the seatbelts/carseats that saved us from serious injury, so I am fanatical about making sure mine are always strapped in properly in mine and others cars, to the point of handing them my own carseats just to make sure they get the message! If they don't worry enough about their own children them more fool them, but my child has to be safe.....and thats that!!

iamapieceofcheesecake · 20/07/2006 00:23

I now see where you get your name psychomum5

psychomum5 · 20/07/2006 00:27

LOL and too!!!!

I am known to be a bit of an arse tho when something annoys me.....have been known to rant and obsess too. Friends do indeed tell me that I can live upto my online name.

Soooooooo....when I am having a bad day it is indeed better to run.......!!!!!

Original poster

glassofwine · 20/07/2006 13:40

Whats great is that you're all making me feel justified in saying something. I mention it to one of the other mothers today, who didn't appear too bothered, she did say she'd never do that esp with someone elses child, but left it at that.

I'm waiting for the opportunity to say something as I've now realised that it's her turn next week, not in sept as I thought. Unless I'm convinced she'll be more responsible then I'm not going to allow DD to go with her, which is going to be v difficult politically, but so be it.

OP posts:

poisson · 20/07/2006 13:41

3 points and a fine

SofiaAmes · 21/07/2006 07:52

I wouldn't ever let my child go in that mother's car again. How absolutely irresponsible. God knows what other risks she is taking with your child's life.

Original poster

glassofwine · 25/07/2006 21:42

Just thought I'd update you. DD was due to go to the class tonight and one of the others mum's was going to take the girls, then at the last minute they swapped with the lack of seatbelt mum. I didn't know untill she delivered DD back this evening.

I asked DD if she'd remembered what I'd said about wearing her seatbelt. She said that she had, she did wear her seatbelt and that the girls said that they didn't wear them last time and the Mum got 'a bit cross' and told them off for not wearing seatbelts.

Phew, so I feel mostly better now although I do think it's up to the adult to check - but it just goes to show how you can get yourself all in a state about something that wasn't quite what I thought it was. IYSWIM

OP posts:

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