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Original poster

Is it rude to put a date by which you want RSVPs on an invitation?

38 replies

CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:12

?

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:13

we have way too many people to invite to a party and want to know early on if people can't come

OP posts:
Enid · 19/07/2006 13:13

no

mumfor1standfinaltime · 19/07/2006 13:13

No! I don't think so! You need to know a date to arrange things.

Enid · 19/07/2006 13:13

but people dont pay any attention to it IME

SSSandy · 19/07/2006 13:14

It's fine but you'll end up having to call half of them to check anyway.

MrsBigD · 19/07/2006 13:14

not rude at all Especially if it's a bigger event you need to be able to plan.

We just got a birthday invitation at nursery with RSVP, for the simple reason it's being held in a venue that also has a health club and the parents can use it whilst kiddies party. Obviously though they need to know how many . I didn't mind the rsvp at all.

iamapieceofcheesecake · 19/07/2006 13:14

No, I don't think it's rude but I agree with Enid about people not paying attention tho.

NotActuallyAMum · 19/07/2006 13:15

Agree with Enid - definitely not rude but people will probably ignore it unfortunately

Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:15

I always put rsvp but have never put a date before

OP posts:
saadia · 19/07/2006 13:15

I don't think it's rude, it's prefectly reasonable. We recently had a wedding invite with an RSVP date.

harpsichordcarrier · 19/07/2006 13:16

not at all

Pamina3 · 19/07/2006 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:19

ok so the party is mid sept, will send out invitations late july, so what date should I put? 20 Aug?

OP posts:
KTeePee · 19/07/2006 13:20

It's like anything in life, some people WILL let you know promptly, whether you put a date in or not, some won't. I got lumbered with orginising a present from the class for the teacher, asked for contributions by a particular date (to give me time to buy it and get everyone to sign card) and now that I've done all that I still have people coming up to me wondering if it is too late to contribute.... They also seem to be the same people whose children are late most mornings....I sense a pattern!

NotActuallyAMum · 19/07/2006 13:20

20th August sounds fair to me CD

Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:21

and if they don't reply by then do I call them before striking from the list?

OP posts:
melrose · 19/07/2006 13:22

If you want quick replies try putting an e-mail address and/or mobile number on the invite. Far quicker to reply that way and people tend to do it instantly before they forget. I speak as someone who always writes RSVP immediately but inevitably leaves it on the hall table for a week or so awaiting a stamp and on the seat of my car another week or so awaiting to be dropped in a post box/ delivered!

Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:22

or maybe will just put a horse's head in their bed or kidnap their children

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:23

have put email addresses and phone no

don't expect written reply!

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NotActuallyAMum · 19/07/2006 13:24

I probably would call them first, albeit grudgingly but I'd politely make sure they knew that I'm only calling because they haven't replied as the invite asked

melrose · 19/07/2006 13:24

Not putting a date does mean taht you can chase before the date with people you see, if you get what I mean, rather than thinking on 25th Aug, "I can't chase them till next week". Those who are good about RSVP-ing will do regardless of date or not, those who are crap at re[plying will probably still be as crap

Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 13:27

ok will put

RSVP (soon please)

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 19/07/2006 15:46

is it ok to put no stilettos too?!

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FoghornLeghorn · 19/07/2006 15:47

I would say no but only because no bugger ever seems to take any notice of the date you put on it anyway

FoghornLeghorn · 19/07/2006 15:49

That's already been said . Clearly its not just my friends/family who are crap at replying.
What sort of party is it CD?