Firstly; clarifications..
I know you guys are fed up with people 'dragging this half buried corpse' up into the open, and so am I..
I know I left, and I just want to say I did ask MNHQ about three times via email to delete me from their database (if that's the correct term) and they didn't so here I still half am.
I'd also like to say that since my leaving I've not used any other name and I haven't posted.
I have namechecked though and I'm not embarrassed to admit it!
My problems (as if you care)...
My first problem is that I can't actually physically escape mumsnet - I am not addicted to it, although at one time I probably was... but I have real life and MSN friends who are regular MNers and I seriously cannot escape talk of this board, or mentions of me etc.
My other and most upsetting problem is that a small (at least I hope it's small) amount of you think I'm some kind of evil malicious creature. Recently my friend organised a meet up, I said I wouldn't go because of all this, but she persuaded me anyway (hello you if you're reading, you persuader you, oh ok all you have to do is dangle chocolate in front of me) anyway, on hearing that I was going another MNer decided to pull out, saying that it might be damaging for her child if I was there, I don't know if you realise how upsetting it is for someone to think of you that way, but it really isn't pleasant to know that people think of me as some evil potential child damager. (if you're reading - I know you came anyway hun, but there it is all the same, I'm not saying it as a personal thing about you, and I don't blame you).
What really happened
Well I started it all, I found out from someone else that you could post over the top of deleted threads and they didn't show up on active convos, therefore you had to be linked to them. Then in a fit of madness I thought it would be funny to start a 'Btch Club' thread, with all the rules of fight club, but about btching. At the time I thought people would do 'spoofy' b*tching and that it would all be fun and games, I was having a really thoughtless idiotic week, but there's no point in excuses.
Some people decided to take it seriously - Starlover and Lockets said some nasty things about people on here (not sure they want to be mentioned, god I'm not sure SL and L want to be again either, argh it's messy) but basically they said that someone wore clothes they er, didn't agree with and that they just plain didn't like someone else (and a few other people, but I'm quite sure those other people already knew and that is the key thing here)... I then said that I found someone on here homophobic, because in one of her posts the person had made me cry whilst talking about me flaunting bi-curious ways too much on the board (which I did, but you still made me cry) - I'd already said what I thought about her to her on the boards and it was only a repetition of those words.
[note added afterwards]
Something that I did that may be construed as btchy was that on the narnia thread I said 'what do you think of so'n'so?' which I meant as 'what do you think of me adding so'n'so to the group?' but by the time I had emailed the link to her, I came back to find everyone had said what they thought* of her!
The thing was that the two people from here that were mentioned didn't know this was how L and SL felt about them, and they had met these people.
About two weeks later one of the people mentioned emailed me, and it suddenly occured to me that if it was me, I would want to know what was said, and without any further thinking (seriously I didn't think) I told her all about it, she emailed back, said (or maybe asked? Can't remember) she was telling everyone here and I still didn't think of what a serious issue this would turn into, it was a real shock. Yes, I was that naive.
It's all a bit hazy now, but I know for certain that I'm not the evil, malicious sht stirring screaming banshee that some of you think I am. I know that in RL I don't do or understand btching, and have never really got gossiping either, I was always a bit of a tomboy in that respect 'have a bot of a shout, get over it'.... I tell people to their faces, usually, although we all have chats about other people we know.
I'm sorry for dragging this up, but I'm not the first, I'm not even the first to talk about it today. I hope that you can all please just let it go after this thread because it really wasn't as bad as most of you think (I mean, we really, honestly banged on for hundreds of posts about real nappies and who was the better lentil weaver).
I don't think SL and L said anything nearly as bad as quite a few people (probably) say in MSN all the time and TBH I think they've been victims of a witch-hunt based on not many facts (me too a little)... although I'm sure the two people who were mentioned don't think that, and are very right to be very hurt.
I'm sorry for the whole saga, I'm sorry for the length of this, I'm sorry for forcing my need for closure under your nose like this.
I can't stand having friends on here, even if I don't want to post, I feel banished and shunned.
I know, it's just the net, get a life. But still, the feeling remains.
Maybe you will link people who call me an evil sht stirring btch to this now? Even if just reading the sheer length of it is good punishment for swearing!
(I bet no one bothered reading to the end did they?)
Over and out (out damn spot!)
Fastasleep, the idiot. Who is still bl--dy here..