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An apology for 'narniagate', an explanation of what it really was, and hopefully and ending.

269 replies

Fastasleep · 18/07/2006 13:13

Firstly; clarifications..

I know you guys are fed up with people 'dragging this half buried corpse' up into the open, and so am I..

I know I left, and I just want to say I did ask MNHQ about three times via email to delete me from their database (if that's the correct term) and they didn't so here I still half am.

I'd also like to say that since my leaving I've not used any other name and I haven't posted.

I have namechecked though and I'm not embarrassed to admit it!

My problems (as if you care)...

My first problem is that I can't actually physically escape mumsnet - I am not addicted to it, although at one time I probably was... but I have real life and MSN friends who are regular MNers and I seriously cannot escape talk of this board, or mentions of me etc.

My other and most upsetting problem is that a small (at least I hope it's small) amount of you think I'm some kind of evil malicious creature. Recently my friend organised a meet up, I said I wouldn't go because of all this, but she persuaded me anyway (hello you if you're reading, you persuader you, oh ok all you have to do is dangle chocolate in front of me) anyway, on hearing that I was going another MNer decided to pull out, saying that it might be damaging for her child if I was there, I don't know if you realise how upsetting it is for someone to think of you that way, but it really isn't pleasant to know that people think of me as some evil potential child damager. (if you're reading - I know you came anyway hun, but there it is all the same, I'm not saying it as a personal thing about you, and I don't blame you).

What really happened

Well I started it all, I found out from someone else that you could post over the top of deleted threads and they didn't show up on active convos, therefore you had to be linked to them. Then in a fit of madness I thought it would be funny to start a 'Btch Club' thread, with all the rules of fight club, but about btching. At the time I thought people would do 'spoofy' b*tching and that it would all be fun and games, I was having a really thoughtless idiotic week, but there's no point in excuses.

Some people decided to take it seriously - Starlover and Lockets said some nasty things about people on here (not sure they want to be mentioned, god I'm not sure SL and L want to be again either, argh it's messy) but basically they said that someone wore clothes they er, didn't agree with and that they just plain didn't like someone else (and a few other people, but I'm quite sure those other people already knew and that is the key thing here)... I then said that I found someone on here homophobic, because in one of her posts the person had made me cry whilst talking about me flaunting bi-curious ways too much on the board (which I did, but you still made me cry) - I'd already said what I thought about her to her on the boards and it was only a repetition of those words.

[note added afterwards]

Something that I did that may be construed as btchy was that on the narnia thread I said 'what do you think of so'n'so?' which I meant as 'what do you think of me adding so'n'so to the group?' but by the time I had emailed the link to her, I came back to find everyone had said what they thought* of her!

The thing was that the two people from here that were mentioned didn't know this was how L and SL felt about them, and they had met these people.

About two weeks later one of the people mentioned emailed me, and it suddenly occured to me that if it was me, I would want to know what was said, and without any further thinking (seriously I didn't think) I told her all about it, she emailed back, said (or maybe asked? Can't remember) she was telling everyone here and I still didn't think of what a serious issue this would turn into, it was a real shock. Yes, I was that naive.

It's all a bit hazy now, but I know for certain that I'm not the evil, malicious sht stirring screaming banshee that some of you think I am. I know that in RL I don't do or understand btching, and have never really got gossiping either, I was always a bit of a tomboy in that respect 'have a bot of a shout, get over it'.... I tell people to their faces, usually, although we all have chats about other people we know.

I'm sorry for dragging this up, but I'm not the first, I'm not even the first to talk about it today. I hope that you can all please just let it go after this thread because it really wasn't as bad as most of you think (I mean, we really, honestly banged on for hundreds of posts about real nappies and who was the better lentil weaver).

I don't think SL and L said anything nearly as bad as quite a few people (probably) say in MSN all the time and TBH I think they've been victims of a witch-hunt based on not many facts (me too a little)... although I'm sure the two people who were mentioned don't think that, and are very right to be very hurt.

I'm sorry for the whole saga, I'm sorry for the length of this, I'm sorry for forcing my need for closure under your nose like this.

I can't stand having friends on here, even if I don't want to post, I feel banished and shunned.

I know, it's just the net, get a life. But still, the feeling remains.

Maybe you will link people who call me an evil sht stirring btch to this now? Even if just reading the sheer length of it is good punishment for swearing!

(I bet no one bothered reading to the end did they?)

Over and out (out damn spot!)
Fastasleep, the idiot. Who is still bl--dy here..

OP posts:
Reginald · 18/07/2006 13:49

so SL did then?

bundle · 18/07/2006 13:50

custy, those would be sassy boden stones

magnolia1 · 18/07/2006 13:51

Custardo has really put it the best way and Fastasleep hun just leave this thread now. Don't look at it, stop re appologising and let it go. Keep posting and it really will blow over but you have to let it

magnolia1 · 18/07/2006 13:52

I meant keep posting but on other threads!

NomDePlume · 18/07/2006 13:52

I think I'm getting a picture of what happened now... Maybe.

So. Lockets and Starlover alledgedly made personal and offensive comments about Hunker. FA read this comments and pointed Hunker in their general direction ? So why is FA demonised here ?

I don't geddit, tbh. In fact, don't even bother trying to explain it to my poor sun-addled brain, let it all wash under the bridge and move on. Surely the issue is between those actually INVOLVED in the thread, not for us (uninvolved) to sit here pointing the finger ? Like I say, none of business. Move on.

Tortington · 18/07/2006 13:53

she said she was sorry. what more can she do? do you want to expel her socially from our community?

stop it.

NomDePlume · 18/07/2006 13:53

read these comments.... See, told you I was sun-addled

FioFio · 18/07/2006 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fastasleep · 18/07/2006 13:54

I might be attention seeking a little, in the sense of me wanting to clarify everything (I'm meant to be tidying..grr)..

Secondly the comments from SL/L (can't remember shich said what anymore) came from a general consensusy type 'don't you just hate cliques?' comment (hypocritical? Yes!) and then the inevitable don't you just hate COD comment...

which poor old Cod is blooming used to.

I know some of you thought this had died a death, but for me, it really really hasn't and it really has been affecting my real life

and I've just got an email from MN and they're probably telling me to eff off. Poo. Sorry everyone. Guess I really am Mrs Thicko.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 18/07/2006 13:54

FA, I would give the same advice to you as I gave immediately after it happened -

Keep your head down until this has blown over and until you feel you can come back and give a proper apology

If you still don't know what you did to upset people, and why your name has been mud round here, there is no bloody use popping up again and expecting people to get over it.

Fastasleep · 18/07/2006 13:54

OH it was from NDP pmsl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry but I can't stop laughing now I thought MNHQ had just decided to tell me to b*gger off good and proper!

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 18/07/2006 13:55

lol

poisson · 18/07/2006 13:55

ah i know
ita pita
no one else ever slags

you were just caught fa

NEVER write anythign dwon that you dont want to see again

beef · 18/07/2006 13:56

custy you are very wise.

No-one can and has stopped FA posting. She could have been posting ever since the debacle and I probably wouldn't have noticed.

However she has now MADE me notice by this unnecessary thread with a (as you rightly put it) non-apology.

She certainly doesn't need anyones permission or sanction to post so why all this?

Dior · 18/07/2006 13:56

Message withdrawn

NomDePlume · 18/07/2006 13:56

I get the feeling that Cod is the voice of reason on this thread

bundle · 18/07/2006 13:57

exactly, cod.

internet archaeology. had drunken conversation in RL about this on Saturday night.

aragon · 18/07/2006 13:57

Wasn't around for "Narniagate" - whatever that is.

It sounds a dreadfully stressful time and that a few silly decisions made.

I love coming onto Mumsnet, I think you're all great and I love hearing what works for other people and having a good old natter.

I think it sounds like a line needs to be drawn under "narniagate" (wtf) and everyone can move onwards.

Fastasleep · 18/07/2006 13:57

I do know I DO I thought I'd explained?! Am I the most rubbish person at explaining things?

I started a bad taste thread, I didn't think of the consequences, I wrote an email, which may as it has now been enlightened to me have been bitchy, repeating comments on it, I never actually thought about anything and I'm sorry for hurting anyone involved? Yes it was thick.

How is that not a proper apology? I'm not getting this

OP posts:
bundle · 18/07/2006 13:57

but who is beef???

lucy5 · 18/07/2006 13:57

Cod, I completely agree.

FrannyandZooey · 18/07/2006 13:58

Coming on here and laughing your head off is really crass, FA.

I feel more cross with you now than I ever did at the time of the whole ruddy mess.

FioFio · 18/07/2006 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 18/07/2006 13:58

oh ffs

Twiglett · 18/07/2006 13:59

I'd like to point out that some posters are very young (in real life terms)

If I remember right FA is something like 19 (or maybe 21)

when I was in my early 20's I didn't know half as much as I know now .. and I was probably unthinking in some of the things I said

Sitting here in my ivory towers (of late 30's) it is easy to see immaturity shine out

FastAsleep FGS don't make it huge .. say sorry .. and start posting .. those who will not forgive you will avoid your threads .. those who do forgive you will not ... I think you need to get over yourself a bit tbh