Valentines and Romance

[Ems]

With tomorrow being the 14th, I wondered what is the most romantic thing someone has done for you, or the maddest thing you have done for somone else?

I remember being 18 (and so in love!!??) and boyfriend had to work, so I cooked a Sunday lunch and drove 75 miles for him to heat it up in works microwave and then drove home again!

I know, sad, sad!

After I'd had Baby1, feeling emotional etc, in bed one morning and hubby bought me some breakfast, I was eating alpen at the time and hated the raisins, so always used to pick them out. And that morning he presented me with my alpen minus raisins. Oh, he does love me, sob, sob.

Its usually the little things isnt it, that are the true love and romance. Although I'm sure I'd be very appreciative of a grand gesture. Anyone had one of those? Whisked of somewhere luvverly?

The first present my dh ever bought me was a potted cabbage - bless him! It didn't get much better after that, one birthday I got a calculator and 2 Christmas's ago I got a meat cleaver!

But the most romantic thing he does is just to tell me that he loves me! Awwww!

My husband walked round the fields to pick me a basket of blackberries just before I went into hospital to have our first baby! It was very romantic at the time!!!!

I think that I destroyed the impulsive romance thing in dh when he bought me a random bunch of freesias (my favourite) when we were going out and I was convinced that it was because he had a guilty conscience about something. Turned out that he didn't but he hasn't risked it since ... I do wish that he would though! I'm sorry - please forgive me if you see this! I'm having flowers delivered to his work tomorrow because I know that secretly he really likes them and he is on until 10pm-ish so it's about the only hope of a romantic encounter.

I told dh that I was pregnant on Valentines day last year.

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dunno about valentine's gestures for me but a very strange card arrived through the post this morning for dd (7 months) addressed with very similar handwriting to her dads... inside in rather childesh handwriting, the 'mysterious sender' has declared a liking for dd after seeing her at playgroup... apparently he thinks she's 'gorgus'!

Th emost lovely hing my dh did was buy me a sapphire on our honeymoon (unknown to me) hide it, and give it to me for our first anniversary, Ahh.....!

Big gripe now - he's an academic and doesn't agree with valentines day for philosophical reasons (!). Being a man of principle, I got NOTHING this morning. Despite the fact that I got him the grooviest card I could find, and some chocolate hearts. It's funny, isn't it, how I always suffer for HIS principles, whereas he can stick to his principles and still get a loving gesture from me. Any ideas how to reverse the situation? (Although a sly revenge kick when he's asleep might help to ease the pyschological damage caused......)

I got two cards and a piece of china that I collect. The first year of our marriage I got a red rose for every month, month7 was a card with 7 roses on it as we were hard up. I eagerly awaited 12 months...........I got one rose, for one year!!!

Mind you I am married to the most indulgent, generous man, I mean I got a platinum pen for my Palm Pilot for my birthday, with the Mont Blanc leather cover. He really does spoil me.

He arranged a surprise trip to Rome for our 10th anniversary, I got an itinerary in the post starting...you will be picked up by limo at..... five pages later ending....child care has been arranged! Pictures, daily plan including massage etc!

When we were their he produced a 7 diamond eternity ring that I couldn't have chosen better myself, and the right size!

Bea, that is lovely. I got a glue and sequin-encrusted confection from a "toddler boy" this morning, can't think who sent that. Makes up for being told this morning that dh couldn't find a card he approved of and that my present was still unwrapped and hidden in the bottom of his wardrobe. We did have a lovely tryst 15 minutes into Valentine's Day bailing out our defunct washing machine in the small hours. After we'd finished mopping the kitchen floor, dh told me he loved me more than ever. Not bad considering that I was wearing a frumpy dressing gown, a lot of face cream and had been swearing continuously for half an hour.

Aaah, I had a sequined, sticky heart card made a preschool from my toddler too, together with a heart shaped, glittery decoration. One for my keepsake box. Hubby had a bit of extra cash yesterday and he is buying dinner tonight, he emailed me earlier to ask if I want red or white wine.

The best valentine's present arrived this morning in our office for an extremely lovely, young, gay lad. He had a gorgeous gold box delivered from Fortnum & Mason, containing a bottle of champagne and at least 3 dozen champagne truffles (which he then shared out and were to die for!). We reckon it must have cost at least £80. And it was only a casual acquitance too. It was an extremely romantic gesture and left all us old marrieds green with envy!

I had a lovely valentines day "greeting" from my husband - telling me he wants us to split up. This is the second time this year he has come out with this - the first being on New Years Eve!

Needless to say, I went downstairs and ripped up my Valentines Day card I had for him - it felt a bit hipocritical in the circumstances!

Glad everyone is not having the same Valentines Day as me!

Sobernow, thank you (by the way, I love your name) - would suit me.

I used to post on here under a different name, but changed it as I thought if anyone logged on that I knew, they would guess it was me from my initials.

I have posted twice before with new discussions:-

"Should I leave or should I go"

and

"Merry Christmas, Happy New Year".

I must say that my husband does seem to pick the best times to drop these bomb-shells, but after New Years Eve, I knew things were never going to work out and in a funny way I feel a bit of a sense of relief that I now know where I stand.

He did turn round and say he is fed up with hurting me all the time and I said that, yes, he does keep hurting me with all the things he says.

New Years Eve he called me irresponsible, untrustworthy, arrogant, selfish and self-centred.

I have done wrong in the past but that was 3 years ago now and I thought we had moved on since then, especially after having a baby in October 2001.

Last night, he said he doesn't think he can EVER forgive me.

Because of all the horrible times since Christmas, it does seem a bit of a relief. I am no longer worried about what sort of mood he is going to be in when he comes in from work - from what he said last night, at the end of the day I am no longer accountable to him and that does feel a relief.

I am a strong person (my mum is also having a nervous breakdown at the moment and is leaning on me big time) and I know I will get through this and come out the other side a better and stronger person.

Dear Bumblelion, you indeed sound like a very strong person and your positive take on your potentially depressing circumstance is quite inspiring. Lots of luck in whatever you decide to do, and don't forget, you can't be strong ALL the time - make time to look after yourself as well as your mum and your child.

bumbelion i have posted on:help separation immenent and am also experiencing huge relationship problems.you have my full sympathy and support.your problems sound on the same scale as ours,kinda along the lines of please no more hurt just lets go our separate ways as there really doesn't seem to be any resolve for the situation.I also found your postings under your last name and have to say please stop letting him beat you up over something that happened a long time ago yous have had a child since then,if it really cannot be forgiven then the best place for you both is apart.Feel free to post me under my other posting in relationships as romance doesn't seem quite the right place for this type of discussion.Be strong

Loobie, thank you for your support. I think you are quite right that in the end, you have to hold your hands up and say "we have tried our best", now lets call it a day. I must admit that DH is just about to go out to the pub, although saying that a friend of mine has invited to me a Valentines Day Ball in London tomorrow night so we are both having our nights out. It doesn't detract from my children at all, as they will be in bed by the time I go out anyway.

I will talk under "Relationships". As you say it might be a better thread to discuss this "sh*t" that is happening in our lives.

The Maddest thing, drove like you Ems miles - 200 and picked future dh up on Christmas Day and had Christmas Lunch with my M & D.

Our 11th anniversary he bought me a tiffany bangle - TOTAL SURPRISE AND SO OUT OF CHARACTER.

today I got Lillys, as he got the message about my loathing for Red Roses!, so I do love him TODAY.

I arrived home yesterday after a long drive to find about 100 cut out red hearts all over the dining room floor and a red rose and a bottle of champagne on the table. The biggest heart said "I love you" on the back. The others had hand written kisses...