Are you strict about bedtimes?

[Bomper]

I have always been on the 'Yes' side of the arguement, mainly because if my children don't get a good nights sleep they are good for nothing the next day and also, let's face it, as much as I love the little buggars, it's nice to have a few hours 'adult' time with just me and dh, to have a glass of wine, watch a dvd etc. However, it seems to me that I am in the minority, I have just seen my neighbours three year old out in her front garden with her mum, whilst my eight year old has been in bed since 8 o'clock!!! Just wondered what the mumsnet mums (and dads) thought!!

when mine were little it was a strictly enforced 7pm, now they are 5.5 and 8.5, the younger goes at 7.30 (he needs his sleep) and the older one goes at 8pm. Trouble is, he doesn't go to sleep til 9pm and regularly is awake at 5.30am. It is difficult when it's so hot and light AND the icecream van is still pinkling around at 8 and 9pm round our way at the moment. But I need my adult space (and as I'm often sparked out on the sofa by 9.30pm, I don't get much spare time as it is

While we aim to have the younger children in bed by certain times we don't strictly adhere to it. It depends on how tired they seem and what it is they are doing and which child.
And in this weather they are drained after school but seem to come to life once the evening starts to cool down. Seems little point sending them to hot bedrooms for them to moan and groan for a couple of hours. We think that they are better staying up doing something and then going to bed when they are ready.

DTS are 28mo and are in bed between 6.30 and 7pm every night. DH and I were wondering if we should now move this to 7.30pm latest because we can here them gibbering away in their cots (they are in the same room) but I'm not keen. I see it as their wind down period and I value my evenings too much to even relinquish half an hour.

The boys live their lives by the strict routine that I have instilled and imo, any deviation will lead to disharmony. Now, they even tell us when it is time for their bath, milk, stories and bed.

m1m1rie - the sound of your experience of secondary homework is making me recoil...I have packed lunches to make, dinner to cook for dh, sitting down on sofa to do - I don't have time for homework to blight my life!

I've always been fairly draconian about bedtimes, mainly because I need some adult time in the evening to save my sanity. I also firmly believe that kids need their sleep and it is not fair on anyone else to send them to school in the morning without having had a good night's sleep. We've just re-negoatiated bedtimes to 7pm (DD,3), 8pm (DS1,7) and 9pm (DS1, 12). I totally appreciate different strokes for different folks, but I can't bear it if I am invited to someone's house for dinner and, having paid for a babysitter, I have to interact with OP's kids until midnight because "they don't want to go to bed".

Both mine (4 & 6) go to bed at 7.00 ,7.45at the latest (doctor who nights!)
Dd1 is awful without 12-13 hours sleep, dd2 doesn't need much and will often play quietly for a while before going to sleep.
If we go to an evening party they are ready to leave by 9pm.

Yes.

Am Fascist.

Am also Fascist about getting up times (small people creeping into my bedroom before 7am get firmly put back to bed/into room with instructions to "entertain themselves")

Need a uniform really. Preferably involving pyjamas and jackboots.

YES

Jess and Becky (nrly 2 and 8mnth) both go between 7 and 7.30pm depending what time DH gets home from work.

Kid free zone by 7.45pm latest as I need my time - 2 under 2 all day every day is hard enough without them being up all evening too.

Yes!! DS in bed by 7/7.15 every night, and loses it big time if not.. He's 2.1. It keeps me sane, and gives DH and I an evening. Also means we can get a sitter and go out sometimes! I'm lucky though, DH is usually home by 6/6.30 and spends time with DS in the bath etc.

Jessajam, I don't see why your later bedtime is a problem - it works for you, your lo gets enough sleep, and that's what's important.

i am ds1 nearly 3 bed by 7 730. ds2 not quite in a routine yet. DH not strict at all. When i have been out ds1 can still be up when i get back[shocked]

WE are pretty lax and flexible with bedtimes as that it what works best for us. Norally on a nursery/work night DD (4yo) goes to bed around 7:30pm. However at weekends we are often out and about, visiting people, staying over places, have friends/family round, etc. and this makes bedtimes later. DD sleeps later after late bedtimes so we have been known to use this to our own advantage too On holiday this month it was rare that DD was in bed (or asleep rather) before 10pm - as we were still out at that time, often still in the theme parks. But she'd then sleep till about 9am, so it would well for us all.

We never were big on strict routines when she was little. We do flexible routines only! Works for us perfectly though, not for everyone.

reading back I must be really strict - dds (3yrs and 9mths) have their tea at 4.30, bathed at 6 and in bed at 6.30, both asleep for 12hrs at 6.45pm.

a little more flexible at the weekends so dd1 gets some time with us alone but she tells us when she is tired and takes herself off to bed - and always before 7.30pm

my ds's sahre a room so they go at the same time, always 7.30 come rain or shine, but in the extreme heat i let them play in thier room for a while untill it cools down, at the weekend or on camping trips it all goes out the window!!!

kama - have you tried reducing your los day sleep? I can't do cc either and used to use the baby whisperer techniques which were a lot less stressful for me.

lexiemum - I couldn't manage that routine. On my longer work days we wouldn't be in in time to start with. We only eat at 6:30pm when DH gets in. If she went to bed then she wouldn't see DH at all during the week. Also, I don't want to get up that early on my days off

I guess everyone is different in how they do thinks, and everyone's children are different too - in how much sleep they need, etc.

We're strict in that once the bedtime routine has started, they will end up in bed and tht will be it for the night. However, although their bedtime is technically 7.30, we don't have any issues if they end up going to bed at, say, 8.00. Late nights are usually because we've been doing something very intereting, or been somewhere far from home, or, as recently, taking advantage of the cooler evening weather. The only time we try to be strict about getting them to bed by 7.30 is on Sudnay nights. They're 5 and 3.

Bedtime is 7.00 for ds2 (3) and 7.30 for ds1 (5) - dh does one bedtime and I do the other. Only exception is if we are away on holiday, then we do bend the rules as we will go out to eat in the evening.

all 3 girls (dd1-8.8y,dd2 5 in week,dd3 13m) all go to bed at 7.30pm
pj-wash and teeth, bed . no telly no vids, no lights , no talking . they all go to sleep straight away and me and dp have quality time .

horrible arent i ?

Kama, when my two were younger, and even now sometimes, I foudn that being over-tired meant that they didn't settle well in the evening. Until age 2.5ish they needed a two-hour nap between 1 and 4pm in order to settle well in the evening. Sleeping any later than 4 also meant that we would have an unsettled evening.

Other factors in them settling well were:
No exciting play after bathtime, and even during bathtime winding down the play so that they were already calm when they got out of the bath.
Having the same, quiet routine every night (bath, pjs, milk & story, bed, kisses, lights out, door shut). We even used the same words to say goodnight every night. Children love predictability, and would remind us if we missed somthing out.

Had such a 'Mumsnet moment' today, it made me smile!! Just had to share it with you. I bumped into the mum who I was so shocked with in the OP,on the school run, and the aforementioned child was sitting in her buggy eating a sausage roll!! Now, if only she'd had gold hoop earrings in I'd have a hat-trick!!

LOL at MN moment............Bloody place overtakes your life.

Met a school mummy in JS yesterday, was having the briefest of chats, DS got bored, What is on the list Mummy ??

Strawberries.......he found the only open punnet in the store, and was about to pop one in.

I piped up "stop right there".........we have not paid for them, "that is right up there with eating grapes"

DS just looked at me, and I gave an embarassed shrug.

I am sure the school Mummy thought I was bonkers.

kama, DS has gone to bed at 7 ever since we brought him home from the hospital when he was born. We've never had to do controlled crying at bedtime, he just doesn't know anything else, and his body clock is used to going to bed at that time. When he was tiny and cried after he'd gone to bed, I used to just give him a bit more breast and he'd drop off again on his own.

It does mean that his body clock means he wakes up around 7 - 7.30 every morning - even if he's been in bed later than 7, although this seems to be changing on rare occasions - last Saturday it was 9.15, which was bliss (esp as I am 7 1/2 months pg).

Swings and roundabouts...