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Original poster

Ante-natal appointments - did your Partner/DH go to every one?

62 replies

Gingerbear · 03/07/2006 08:04

I have been pulling the leg of a male work colleague for taking time off to attend his wife's ante-natal appointments. Hospital appointments and scans, fair enough, but I thought it was strange that he felt it necessary to go to the local doctor's surgery with his wife to see the midwife for routine wee test and general check. But yesterday at a party, my pregnant friend said that her DH had attended every appointment and others nodded saying their OH's did too.

My DH was working and never came to the midwife with me at the local surgery. He came with me for hospital appointments.
I cannot recall sitting in the waiting room and seeing other women waiting with their partners.
Has the law changed in the last 4 years? Do men now get time off too for ante-natal appointments?

OP posts:

LeahE · 03/07/2006 14:01

he made them turn down the syntocin drip, got me a birthing ball, made me more comfortable on the bed, got me a drink between every contraction

Clearly your antenatal appointments were more involved than mine...

HappyMumof2 · 03/07/2006 14:02

Message withdrawn

tortoiseshell · 03/07/2006 14:06

Ds1 - dh came to 12 week and 20 week scan, plus antenatal classes and birth

Dd - dh came to 12 week scan, but overslept for 20 week scan, so couldn't get out of work, also was at birth (but was at home so he couldn't really have got out of that...)

Ds2 - dh came to nothing, had birth at home, he was there for that.

My friend had her dh there for every appointment - really couldn't see the point, as mine were certainly 'test the wee, listen, feel, out'.

tortoiseshell · 03/07/2006 14:07

With ds2, meant to add, ds1 and dd both came to the 20 week scan, and were brilliant people to have there - they were both (at 4 and 2) SO interested in the whole experience, and seeing the baby.

themoon66 · 03/07/2006 14:25

My DH came to the first scan and the odd ante-natal class (how to bath a baby etc) with me. He had to phone in sick at work to get the morning off for the scan, but the classes were evening time.

Second time around, he came to first scan then stayed out of the way till the birth. Actually, he did once take me to the docs when my car broke down. He sat in the waiting room though, didnt come in.

teacups · 03/07/2006 19:36

DH did the 12 week and the 20 week scans, but none of the other 7 scans, nor any MW appointments. I doubt he'd easily have been able to get time off, but in any event, I felt more normal without him there. I wouldn't take him to a normal Dr's appointment unless I was worried about bad news, so I didn't want to make the consultant's appts, scans etc anything abnormal, as that would have made me worry more.

WellKnownMemorablePeachyClair · 03/07/2006 20:10

DS1 yes (easy though as we met at work so the compant were lovely about it); ds2 mostly, because of probs with Ds1- if he couldn't make it I phoned from the car park; ds3 not really, scans and stuff of course but not every appointment- but those where he wasn't on shift then yes. MW came to usa lot tho, as we had the other 2 and she was lovely

KristinaM · 03/07/2006 21:08

Only the scans (two in each pregnancy). Didnt come to the classes either

MadamePlatypus · 04/07/2006 13:23

DH has been to scans and the first booking in appointment for DS. I am glad he did because I am very laid back about medical things and he is a bit of a hypochondriac. Atleast he could talk to the midwife directly about his queries rather than me having to ask stupid questions/give him second hand information.

For the same reason, if there was some kind of complication I would like him to come along so that he wasn't going "Why didn't you ask this, what did they mean by this" afterwards. In fact, I had forgotten that I had high bp for about a day, and he did come with me to the hospital when that was being checked out, but he wasn't working that day.

He wouldn't have been interested in missing work for routine check up appointments where they just check your wee and BP and chuck you out. On the other hand I suppose if he was at a loose end he could have come along and listened to the heart beat.

Twiglett · 04/07/2006 13:24

no .. just scans and if there were problems

anything else is just weird

clairemow · 04/07/2006 13:26

No, DH came to all scans at the hospital. Not to regular midwife appointments. He came to some of the antenatal classes, the ones on labour, breathing, positions etc. i.e. the ones he might actually need to know something practical for the birth. All turned out to be a waste of time, as we had a c-section for breech!

bea · 04/07/2006 22:22

for no 1... dh attended all scans/midwife visits/consultants etc (there were a lot of appts!!! high blood pressure... looong story!)

for no.2.. came to 1st scan and 20 week scan i think and that was it...

for no3 (26weeks now!)... none!!!! life is just far too busy... and i would rather he get dd to school, ds into nursery and carry on with normal life instead of annoying me for the endlees hours waiting in the waiting room for consultants and wee tests!!!!

you get a little more practical and less sentimental about things as you have more i've figured!!!

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