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Original poster

Ante-natal appointments - did your Partner/DH go to every one?

62 replies

Gingerbear · 03/07/2006 08:04

I have been pulling the leg of a male work colleague for taking time off to attend his wife's ante-natal appointments. Hospital appointments and scans, fair enough, but I thought it was strange that he felt it necessary to go to the local doctor's surgery with his wife to see the midwife for routine wee test and general check. But yesterday at a party, my pregnant friend said that her DH had attended every appointment and others nodded saying their OH's did too.

My DH was working and never came to the midwife with me at the local surgery. He came with me for hospital appointments.
I cannot recall sitting in the waiting room and seeing other women waiting with their partners.
Has the law changed in the last 4 years? Do men now get time off too for ante-natal appointments?

OP posts:
biglips · 03/07/2006 09:34

Mine came to the scans and to see the consultant too

lanismum · 03/07/2006 09:35

dp came to the booking in appointment/dating scan, and the 20 week scan, for the last 4 weeks we knew there was a good chance they were going to keep me in for induction, so he came with me for all of those appointments.

sugarfree · 03/07/2006 09:39

He came to scans and final appointments.
Grief!I wouldn't have gone to the rest if I could have got out of it!

Tatties · 03/07/2006 09:40

DP came to the scans and my overdue appt at the hospital, but none of the routine midwife checks. Neither of us would have wanted him to miss the scans, but it wasn't worth him coming out of work for such short routine appts, and I didn't feel that I needed the company. I can understand a partner wanting to be there if things are going less than straightforward though.

mazzystar · 03/07/2006 09:40

Mine came to the biggies - scans etc. Not to the regular trot to the midwife. He did come to all of the antenatal classes, he really liked them.

expatinscotland · 03/07/2006 09:41

we gave the antenatal classes a miss. he was working 50-hour weeks and i didn't want to go on my own.

he was there for both births, tho.

tassis · 03/07/2006 09:43

I made my dh come to almost all the appts last time.

He was a student at the time so it didn't involve taking time off.

THis time he's just come to scans so far.

edam · 03/07/2006 09:45

PMSL at sugarfree wanting to get out of her own antenatal appointments.

mazzystar · 03/07/2006 09:45

have to say he only liked the classes so much because they were really sociable. and none of them clashed with the football.

NatalieJane · 03/07/2006 09:51

With our first, DH came to every appointment, mainly because I can't drive and we lived so far away from the surgery, there were no buses in the town we lived in then, and a taxi would have cost us an arm and a leg, and he could easily get time off where he was working then, but this pregnancy he has only been at the scan, which aside from it being at the hospital in the next town (again to far to walk/bus/taxi), he and I wanted him to be there.

hunkermunker · 03/07/2006 09:54

He came to scans with DS1 (had four) and some of the scans with DS2 (had...err...can't remember - growth scans later in pg).

Agree with Sugarfree - I didn't want to go to most of the antenatal appointments - three or four hours in a hospital ANC isn't my idea of fun! All my antenatal care was done in the hospital clinic post 28 weeks and I was seen fortnightly and sometimes twice in a week - so there's no way I'd have wished that on DH!

Original poster
Gingerbear · 03/07/2006 12:13

lol at sugarfree not wanting to go to her antenatal appts.
We went to ante-natal classes together, but to be honest, I wouldn't bother for a second child. But that is another debate.

OP posts:
BigSister · 03/07/2006 12:45

Never occured to me that DH should come to all appts, though he came to meet DD on the 20 week scan appt. Didn´t miss him either! And he´s a great Father!

hulababy · 03/07/2006 12:48

DH came for all hospital appointments and the scan. He also came to the booking in appointment as the MW requested this. He then came to one other MW appointment, so that he could hear baby's heartbeat.

I'd imagine fathers do have the legal right to go if they wish though.

wannaBe1974 · 03/07/2006 12:53

nope, my dh came to my 20 week scan (we didn't get 12 week scans here when I was pg with ds), he came to my 39 week antinatal appointment and to my 40 week appoingment at the hospital where they gave me an induction date. Other than that he works in London so really wouldn't have been practical to take time off for m/w appointments

eidsvold · 03/07/2006 12:54

mine came to scans and consultant appts with dd1 ( she has heart defect and sn picked up in utero) but for wee midwifey check ups no. Second time he came for the 13 week scan, 20 week scan and that was about it. Dd1 came to all appts. Dh had started a new job and so could not get any time off but the bare minumum. He did not come to 36 week growth check.

We were lucky they let him start his another new job a day later as I ended up having dd2 by c-section the day he was due to start his new job ( after delaying the start for a couple of weeks after dd2's due date )

Very rarely saw male partners waiting in the waiting room with other women ( saw some mums or g/f but no male partners.)

Fimbo · 03/07/2006 12:55

Dh came to one appointment (scratches head in vague memory) with dd but that was because he was on holiday and to both scans.

With ds he came to scans & amnio.

Both faithfully attended antenatal classes every week with dd. [yawn]. Didn't bother second time round.

Normsnockers · 03/07/2006 13:04

Message withdrawn

LadyTophamHatt · 03/07/2006 13:24

only scans really and then not all of them.

I prefer to go alone TBH...infact I'd prefer to give birth without him there too

He fusses and faffs around me and I just end up getting annoyed with him so it's better if he's not there.

cece · 03/07/2006 13:25

Dh came to booking ion and scans for first. For second he only came to scans...

moondog · 03/07/2006 13:29

lol Norms.
And chances are,the blokes will be long gone by the time the novelty of being a father has worn off.

KateF · 03/07/2006 13:31

Mine came to nothing!

warthog · 03/07/2006 13:38

my dh came to everything. thank god! he didn't sit there fumbling with notes or making inane smalltalk / asking stupid questions, he made them turn down the syntocin drip, got me a birthing ball, made me more comfortable on the bed, got me a drink between every contraction, the list goes on... THANK GOD he was there!!!

and moondog, last time i checked he still had his balls

juuule · 03/07/2006 13:46

Didn't come to any of the antenatal appts. But then we didn't think he needed to. However, he had time off work to look after the kids for a day after I had an amnio (I wouldn't get out of bed that day for fear of m/c)and he was at all the births. He has always been there if I've really needed him (had to let him know when that might be as he reckons he "isn't psychic,you know")and he was unable to persuade me otherwise .

LucyJones · 03/07/2006 13:49

yes but warthog - what did he do during routine antenatal appointments?!!

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