changing rooms/public toilets

[lionheart]

At a hotel I went to the staff wouldn't let me take my six year old nephew into the female changing rooms for the swimming pool. They insisted he should go into the male changing room and offered to send a male attendant with him.

So, at what age do you let your sons go into male changing rooms at swimming pools? And what about public toilets?

Where I take dd for her swimming lessons they let the opposite sex into the changing rooms up to the age of 7.

No idea about public toilets though.

Not at 6 no way I would have jumped up and down and lost it. WTF are they worried a six year old might be perving on the ladies.

My DS is 9 and I am only just starting to be Ok with him going to male loos. Going swimming I think I would still take him with me, our local pool is communal so havn't had that show down yet .

Was the attendent going to help dry his back and toes and help put his trousers and pants on, I DON@T THINK SO!!

Yes, I did think it said quite a lot about their attitudes to boys and to nudity.

I wouldnt be happy with my ds going into the male changing rooms alone when he is six, not even with a male attendant (who is still a stranger!)

I would try and use a family changing room if possible, otherwise I would change swimming pools.

Also wouldnt let ds go into a male toilet alone - although if I had a DD i would be alot less bothered about her going into a female toilet. When I take my 6 year old brother out and he needs the bathroom, I take him in the disabled one as he doesnt want to use the ladies but I will not let him go to the mens alone.

I did think it a bit strange but was so taken aback I let him go off and stood there having hot and cold flushes until he came back safe.

So, 9 seems more reasonable than 6, but maybe not entirely?

Just one wiff of a male toilet makes me want to take DS into the bay changing .

As for changing at 9yrs DS gets ghanged quite happily on his own, DD at 6 still needs helped to get dried properly.

Write to the managers, copy it to childline and to your local MP. This is outrageous. My ds1 is 6 and I would not have been happy with this arrangement at all. Ask if the member of staff they were planning to send in with him has been checked by police for child protection! Schools allow co-changing up to ten, I think. 8-10 would certainly be my starting point to allow ds to go off alone to change.

Lots of good suggestions, didn't know that about schools, NQSTM.

The public pools here say that boys 8 yrs+ have to use the mens changing rooms. I'd be OK with that, DS1 was 8 in February, and I trust him to change on his own. DS2 is 6 and neither of us would be happy with it. Having said that I'd be OK if he was with DS1, and they always go to the mens toilets now, but only together.

I think there is a legal thing about under 8's not being left unattended. Not sure about the technicalities. But the place where I worked could not have under 8's with out carers.

That's appalling! A six year old sent to change with a complete stranger. What harm can a little boy do in a female changing room. I think it shows very unhealthy attitudes to children TBH - assuming that they are dangerously sexual beings! Weird...

I agree, a little weird.

so its ok for a stranger to take a six year old into the changing room but not for the six yr old to get changed in the females WTF?????

8 sounds more reasonable.

28 even better.

I have allowed my sons to go into male changing rooms and gents' public toilets from when I first thought they could cope with going to the toilet and dressing/organising themselves on their own (so from around 3 for toilets and 5 for swimming pool changing rooms). I do tend to encourage them to keep together (or use a tree instead ) if the places appear at all dodgy though.

Your approach is a lot more confident than mine, Hallgarda. Perhaps I shouldn't give in to the idea that there's a child-molester around every corner .... What would make you think "dodgy" of you don't mind my asking?

At our local pool the age limit is 8 for going in the opposite sex changing room. But their is a large changing room that you could get about 15 people in which is for women with both sex children (I guess there's another one off the men's changing room)

8 keeps coming up as the age. I wonder if it is a legal thing as Skribble suggested.

Ours is 6 but noone follows it , in fact dd1 keeps complaining when we go to lessons about the big boys being in the ladies!.
We have family changing rooms which should cover this sort of problem.

I think "dodgy" if there are a number of single men looking furtive in cars in the carpark next to the toilets, or if I can hear odd noises, or if there are Vice Squad notices in the vicinity.

I had started letting my 2 go to the toddler toilet together in the supermarket if I was mid ailse, but discovered DS was going to gents anyway and letting DD go her self. I didn't like this, plus MIL was taking both to the kids/ changing loo as usual ( she is disabled and finds this easiest) and found a man hanging about in it, round about the same time a girl was raped in a supermarket toilet. So my new found confidence at letting them go themselves went straight down the drain.

Maybe once he is 28 DS can go without me hanging about outside shouting are you OK every 2 minutes.