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Original poster

Please reassure me about people coming to weddings.

47 replies

Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 18:31

We are going to book the reception place for our wedding soon (here ) and you have to give approximate numbers for guests when you reserve it. We have put down some vague numbers but now I am cacking myself and thinking that nobody will bother to come and it will be a big embarrasing empty day.

It will be in October so I have got it in my head that because its not in wedding season people won't come. Also its in an area that none of our friends or family live in so again will that put people off? We will be inviting children and there is cheap accommodation nearby etc. Just feels like I am asking a lot from people to come all that way just for my wedding...

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Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 18:32

Sorry to make my point - how many weddings do you go to that you are invited to? Are you put off by only being invited for the evening? What was the uptake like for your wedding, did most people you invited come?

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006 · 22/06/2006 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NomDePlume · 22/06/2006 18:35

I had a small wedding and all but one came.

TBH, you've got MORE chance of people accepting your invitation in Oct partlyy because it ISN't wedding season (and therefore they aren't all wedding'd out) and also because it isn't the typical time of year that people go on holiday (one of the main reasons people tend to decline invitations). I'm sure it'll be a lovely day

NomDePlume · 22/06/2006 18:35

lol, 006.

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 18:38

But will people really travel 2hours + to come, especially if its just for the evening? There are loads of cheap travel lodge type inns in the area.

Think I am paranoid because my grandad said that nobody from Liverpool (where my family is from) would come because its too far away.

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puff · 22/06/2006 18:40

Everyone we invited came, but we didn't have any "evening only" guests.

I think people are willing to travel as long as things aren't too difficult for them - you've invited children, so guests can choose whether to bring them or not, which is really helpful. Plus, as you say, there is reasonably priced accommodation nearby.

Don't worry - it will be fine! It may be that the evening only numbers are trickier to judge (people might be less prepared to come a long way fot it), but this shouldn't be a problem as an evening buffet is reasonably easy for caterers to adjust numbers for at short notice.

NomDePlume · 22/06/2006 18:40

The majority of guests from my side of the wedding party travelled 100+ miles. Have you spoken to anyone from the Liverpudlian side of the family, other than grumpy granddad ? What did they have to say ? Why are you getting married in Middlesborough, is that where DP is from (I have vague memories of you being in Hull) ?

beckybrastraps · 22/06/2006 18:43

We got married in the South East and had people from Edinburgh and York, and we have been to weddings in Jersey and France.

However, we did invite everyone to all of it, not just the evening, due to the distances involved.

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 18:45

NDP - I grew up on Teesside, lived there from age 5 to 16, my parents still live in the house I grew up in there. My mam and dad are from Liverpool so everyone in my family lives there (grandparents, aunts, uncles etc). I am sure those on my dad's side will come, but I don't even think my uncle and cousins on my mum's side know I am engaged, hope they will come. They are v.nice people.

Moved to Hull for uni so live there now but have no real roots. All my friends I have made here are from uni and so not from Hull either...

DP is from Sheffield, but his family are from Lincolnshire.

Basically I want to get married in the town I grew up in !!

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NomDePlume · 22/06/2006 18:46

Ahhhh, I see .

zippitippitoes · 22/06/2006 18:48

I wouldn't travel to only go to the evening do, I'm afraid

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 18:49

I don't think we can afford to invite everyone for the whole day hmmm... I hope people understand, we will tell anyone who wants to that they are more than welcome at the church and the hotels are like £45 a night so hopefully friends who are coming for the evenings will be able to share a room etc. Prob will be more local people in the evenin anyway (friends of parents etc).

God I am rabbiting.

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Skribble · 22/06/2006 19:02

Looks lovely, don't worry loads will come and will appreciate that you have got names and numbers of local resonably priced hotels.

I go to any wedding I am invited to any excuse for a night out and always the hope of a buffet, in fact I am going to my MIL's neighbours, daughters reception. OK DH and her grew up next door to each other but over the past 10 yrs they have hardly seen each other.

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 19:03

Thanks Skribble

Zippi - is it because of the money or because you have children and it would be a hassle, or just general hassle? def would not invite people with children just to evening unless they lived locally.

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joelallie · 22/06/2006 19:06

October - not a problem. We got married then at it was fine. Weather was beautiful btw

And if people are prepared to pay for a flight to the caribbean for a wedding I'm sure they can stump up for a trip to somewhere in the UK. Old people can be very set in their ways and don't like disruption - doesn't follow that everyone will.

alexsmum · 22/06/2006 19:10

i'll come

Skribble · 22/06/2006 19:10

Sorry but I would I couldn't afford to feed everyone just because they had to travel a bit. The ones that came from firther away came to the church them went off for for dinner (chippy I think) then joined us later. My mum did insist oon a evening buffet for all the travellers, so she had to pay for that .

I only had about 22 at the meal, buggered if I was paying for dinners for cousins and friends who just wanted a knees up, funny how obligatd we are made to feel on our wedding days.

marthamoo · 22/06/2006 19:12

Scousers miss out on a 'do'? I think you're worrying unneccessarily

zippitippitoes · 22/06/2006 19:14

I would think it's too much trouble for a short amount of time and I'd missed the real point of the day, if it was local that wouldn't bother me too much and I could always go home!

harpsichordcarrier · 22/06/2006 19:15

hello!
I had an October wedding and everyone came!
it psd it down with rain all day too
I haven't read the whole thread but, if people are coming a long way, and you can't accommodate them in the afternoon, can you suggest that they come to the wedding and then suggest some activities for the afternoon before they come in the evening? then they can make a day of it.
people accept that numbers are limited, ime.

flutterbee · 22/06/2006 19:24

Over three quaters of guests at our wedding travelled over 200 miles for the wedding so I don't think that the day invites will be anything to worry about, however without wanting to upset you I have to say that unless it was a really really close friend that was getting married I don't think I would travel over 2 hours to go to the evening do it would just be too much and I couldn't justify paying out for accomodation.

Just think about it carefully if it is the place you love and have set your heart on it then book it, you really won't care who does and who doesn't turn up.

I invited all my work mates who lived no more than 10 mins from the evening reception and not one of them turned up.

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 19:35

harpsi - everyone who wants to will be able to come to the wedding am hoping to find some way to phrase it so its on the invite. The ceremony imo is the most important part of the day so I would love everyone to share it with me. Its just the £60 a head meal/drinks/canapes posh hotel sit down meal that we cannot afford to pay for everyone to come to. And I have my heart set on that place.

flutterbee i completely understand what you are saying and thats my worry hmm

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fuzzywuzzy · 22/06/2006 19:37

depending on how close we are to the couple getting married, we've been known to wake at 2am to make a cross country journey for a wedding. I'mm sure everyone you invite will turn up, can you not hold off from giving exact figures untill everyone has RSVP'd???

SenoraPostrophe · 22/06/2006 19:38

we had an october wedding in a not-hot-in-october part of spain and over half of the invitees came. it possibly helped that the message about it not being hot in october didn't get through to some people.

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 22/06/2006 19:43

They ask for approximate numbers at time of booking (2yrs in advance ffs) then you have to confirm numbers later on, but you have to be within a certain percentage of orginally estimated numbers. So basically uou can't book a wedding for 100 and then 2 years down the line say only 50 are coming. We are thinking 60 for sit down meal then further 40 in the evening, but I am thinking maybe just 70 people all day?? Hmmm.

Its a very popular place to have receptions and they have got loads of summer 08 bookings already so we are keen to reserve it so we know we have it.

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