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Original poster

Judge me.

66 replies

ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 12:42

Feeling generally shit at the moment - dd1 is a whole thread in itself with her teen angst and passive aggressive crap, then have dd2 who is failing at school, dd3 who the teacher describes as "precocious" and dh in a foul mood this morning.

I stupidly decided to take dd4 and do a full weekly shop on a Friday morning. I had a heaving trolley at the check out, as did the woman in front of me, who was half way through bagging her stuff. I realised that I was going to be late picking up the little ones and would have to leave the shopping in the car when I collected them. It is hot here today. I pushed dd4 in the trolley, safely strapped in (with my straps, French supermarkets have none) and when she was level with the woman at the till, said that I needed freezer bags and I was going to leave dd strapped in next to her and run back and get some.

She shouted "Madame, YOU WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR POOR BABY NOR YOUR HANDBAG HERE" And then tutted. Everyone turned round to look at the child abuser that was giong to leave her 17 month old alone and at risk in the supermarket. The people at the till next to me started whispering how irresponsible people are. I had to stand there for hours whilst the person in fronts stuff went through, then mine, with the pursed lips of the bitch woman at the till saying it all.

I was late for the children and had ameeting with ds1's teacher, who told me that in her opinion he was immature and struggling and should stay down a year. I burst into tears.

So judge me. What the f*ck am I doing?

OP posts:
Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 17:31

I have removed her tv. She now has no money, no phone, no tv, no msn. Who is going to crack first?

OP posts:
Piffle · 02/06/2006 17:34

You're going to have to distance yourself at some point ggg, for you and your other kids.
She will suck the life out of you with worry.
Sit her down, tell her you love her, want her to be safe, when she needs you to call
Otherwise would she please just piss off
My mother did that and I had to adjust pretty quickly. I was still horrid but at elast left my mother alone,

fattiemumma · 02/06/2006 17:36

ok...i pass judgment as follows.

Your daft. i would have agreed that i wont be leaving DC in the trolley, unstrapped her and walked out of the shop! how bloody dare she speak to you like that.

i know it would have meant going back later but there is no way i would have stood there after being spoken to like that. i would also have put a formal complaint about the checkout girl.

As for ds1- he's male they are ment ot be immature. school is about education and as long as he is still learning who cares what age group he is in...your doing an incredibly stressfull job hun and your doing it well.

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 17:39

I actually want her out of the house now - the chaos that she is causing rebounds on us all. And she has a gaggle of little admirers taking lessons on "how to be adolescent from hell". I am going to see an agency for family with difficult teenagers on Tuesday and see what they can offer.

I never, ever in a million years, would have imagined that I would say "I want her out" about my baby, btw. I still can't quite accept how vile she is being and how crap things are.

OP posts:
Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 17:41

Fattiemamma - you are right - normally (and have done in this same store, at 36 weeks pregnant) would have yelled back and stormed out, but I feel so ground down at the moment and the thought of having to redo the whole frigging shop was what stopped me. I was also afraid I would cry.

OP posts:
compo · 02/06/2006 17:42

oh my God what a crappy day you're having Sad Things can only get better!! Can I be nosy and ask how many kids you've got - you mention a dd4 and a ds1 so I'm guessing at least 6?!!

FioFio · 02/06/2006 17:42

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LadyWitchofWaterford · 02/06/2006 17:44

ggg, sorry you've had a shit day, I won't judge you either. And if it helps, I've wanted ds out of my house sometimes too. Sympathy.

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 17:46

5 and a stepson - it is either all sweetness and light or sheer hell. I can cope with however many under 12s. It is the teenagers (mine, not dss whose main idea of rebellion is Nirvana a bit loud)who are driving me to an early grave.

I am ringing a freind who is a social worker here.

OP posts:
plug · 02/06/2006 17:49

Didn't janh offer to have dd1 to stay during the holidays? TBH, I would do it - I think you could both do with a break from each other and she could do with being in another house full of people who get what they want without being brattish and aggressive Sad. So sorry you're going through this.

Christie · 02/06/2006 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 17:58

So what do I do. She finished school at five. It is now 7.

Has she run away?

My sw friend is not answering. Do I ring the police?

I als ohave a meeting tonight to resign from my job....

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Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 18:01

Am off to bath the baby - taking handbag and phone with me in case she comes in and takes stuff whilst I am upstairs.

This is shiteSad

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Christie · 02/06/2006 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett · 02/06/2006 18:08

hey ggglimpopo ... you win on crappest day competition Grin

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 18:17

I have referred her to social services. They will contact me Tuesday to take things further.

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BeetrootOldDeer · 02/06/2006 18:40

mrs woman, you are a great mum. I have seen you in action.

Is dd home?

Is there famliy she can stay with ?

Frenchgirl · 02/06/2006 18:44

poor old ggglimpopo, life's unfair some time
and may I say on your behalf, very loudly, to that horrid caissiere:
CONNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You sound like a great mum, and you have loads to deal with at the moment, I'm sure things will get better
I hope the stage helps your dd1 a bit
xxx

Esmummy · 02/06/2006 18:46

:( What a shite day ggg.
Have followed your thread about DD but haven't posted as didn't really know what to say and i still don't to be honest.
I hope things start looking up for you soon x

Heathcliffscathy · 02/06/2006 18:47

ggg.....poor you. argh re dd and argh re obnoxious supermarket people (i still think that superU are the worst in the world ever). i leave ds most times i'm at the checkout at the supermarket as i invariably forget the only thing we actually really need. ds was repeatedly hitting me this afternoon and i pushed him away so hard he fell and hurt himself and cried. so judge me.

hope dd turns up v soon.

Frenchgirl · 02/06/2006 18:49

you've probably tried that already ggg, but have you written a letter to your dd1 that she could read in peace, about how much you love her, etc etc...
might be easier for her if there's no face to face stuff?
sorry if it's obvious, only have one little nearly 7 years old dd.....

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 18:50

She has come home, no apology or explanation, just a sly grin.

I think that ss are my only way to go. I actually knew as I was speaking to the sw this evening that I was doing the right thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
ggglimpopo · 02/06/2006 18:50

Have tried all the nice stuff, all the hard stuff and everything in between.....

I am unable to reach her.

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Frenchgirl · 02/06/2006 18:52

I'm sure ss can help, hope the week-end goes OK, any plans?

intergalacticwalrus · 02/06/2006 18:52

Don't really know what to say, but I'll send a (( )) in your direction, because I think you need one.

Feel bad about my HV rant now! I bet you were in the nice 50%

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