I did manage keep up 5 sets of school fees, pay for 3 through university and pay for childcare etc. and recently help one buy her first flat and one has a wedding this year
This is the flaw in your argument. I used to work for social services and some of the girls were bright, I mean really bright. They were more than capable intellectually of undertaking a well paid, intellectually satisfying careers that you've mentioned. They were doing well, despite some of them having to cope with chaotic home lives and parents with all sorts of problems.
The problem wasn't lack of ambition or ideas, it was largely down to parents lacking the financial resources to support them in their ambition. The prospect of supporting them through two years of sixth form was beyond them, let alone three years of University (plus further professional training). I would love to see their reaction when you told them that their problem was lack of ambition, I suspect their reaction would be a hollow bitter laugh.
Thing is, whatever your kids achieve, they don't 'deserve' it more than the kids I worked nor have 'earned it' on a level playing field.
I have no wish to denegrate your children's academic or work achievements, but they been supported and cosseted all the way. They've benefited from a private education, not had the worry of crippling debt upon graduation and the prospect of combining near full-time work with full-time study, just to get by. Then they get the chance to develop their 'interesting and well-paid' career in the security of their own home, thanks to a hefty parental deposit.
It is the Thatcherite myth writ-large 'Everyone should stand on their own two feet and achieve on their own merits....apart from my own children whom I will cosset and seek to buy advantage for at every turn.'
Mark Thatcher being an absolute case in point.