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Foreign Mums in the UK

98 replies

chiara71 · 18/01/2002 22:19

Are there any other foreign mums out there?
How did you cope with being a new mum in a different country with no family around to help out?

My mum and MIL satyed with me ofr 3 weeks each around and after the birth of my dd, it seemed a good idea at the time, but in hindsight maybe it wasn't.
What was your experience like?

OP posts:
whymummy · 27/04/2003 16:55

eidsvold im really pleased your baby is getting better im soooo jelous i wish i could get my husband to go and live in spain,i also love england but like you i miss having all my family and friends around specially when you have children,and everything is so much more relaxed over there,sometimes a bit too relax but i prefered it, its like when the children come out of school everybody goes to the park and here because it gets dark so soon or is raining you just have to run home and thats another day gone,anyway i do feel better talking to you two,thanks

eidsvold · 27/04/2003 17:30

oh slug - meant to include in earlier message - i agree about the shoes .... dd has just spent three weeks with no shoes/socks and loved it... i can't wait for warmer weather to continue that here. I can't stand wearing shoes...

there are other cultural clashes but you just get used to it don't you?!?!

doormat · 27/04/2003 18:08

I lived in Aus for 11 years. Apart from the sunshine I really missed lamingtons. I found the recipe on the web and make them myself now.Yum Yum.

Caterina · 27/04/2003 18:12

Chiara71, I am Italian as weel and really miss having the whole family around, I am organizing childcare for the baby I am expecting, but it's so expensive that I don't know if it makes it worthy going back to work.
On the other hand I need to go to work for my sanity, as I cannot see myself as a housewife 24X7.
The other thing that makes me sad is that my baby will inevitably miss out on my own culture as he will be growing up over here...

slug · 28/04/2003 10:14

Doormat, I was in borough market in London last week and one of the stalls was selling lamingtons! It was surrounded by drooling, homesick Antiopdeans.

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 10:21

Slug - we definitely need badges. I've just discovered the Borough Market and am fast becoming a local there. I'm the one with the young son running around like crazy with no restraints on. Luckily for us we get there early (who doesn't as a parent) so he hasn't managed to cause too much havoc as yet.

Maybe I'll see you there?

whymummy · 28/04/2003 10:33

hi meanmum,eidsvold and slug sorry if im beign nosey but im curious to know what lamingtons is,it must be really yummy for you to miss it,is it savoury or sweet?

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 10:42

Lamingtons are a cake. They are basically a sponge cake cut into squares (baked in a square cake tin) covered in chocolate icing and then doused in shredded coconut. Quite often people cut them in half and fill them with jam and cream.

The chocolate icing is the best bit as it isn't a hard icing but more of a juice that melts into the very outside of the sponge leaving a lovely yellow sponge section in the middle and a chocolatey area all around the outside. I don't see them that much in Australia now unless I go to visit my relatives who live in the country, attend a church or school fete. They are always a winner though.

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 10:43

Oh yeah, you can cover them in a red icing as well which I don't know how to make (but would like to know for those reading this) which is really scrummy.

slug · 28/04/2003 10:43

It's sponge squares, covered with either a chocolate or raspberry sauce and rolled in coconut.

Meanmum, we often go around 12 (in time for the market porter to open) We have the sluglet in a back carrier, and she's the one cheerfully scoffing olives and the strongest cheese possible while her parents test the wines out.

whymummy · 28/04/2003 10:55

thanks!it does sound yummy!!

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 11:19

What's the market porter? I haven't been there late enough to see that?

Mines the blonde terror on legs and you'll hear me calling his name on a very regular basis with absolutely no notice taken by him. I'm the one pushing the black Maclaren stroller filled with shopping and no child.

slug · 28/04/2003 13:17

The Market Porter is the pub on the corner near Neals Yard Dairy. It has "real ales" for the beer bores (dh) that are constantly rotated. You can find it by looking out for the crowd of hopeful looking blokes hovering around the door from 11.50 onwards.

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 13:19

Maybe we need to leave the dh's there as I'm dead keen on trying out that cafe (can't remember the name of it) where I see everyone sitting outside in the morning enjoying a continental breakfast. The sight of those lovely french sticks with jam, butter and so on makes my mouth drool. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to contain my son long enough to really enjoy it. Maybe he can go with dh while I'm relaxing.

hana · 28/04/2003 14:48

feeling homesick myself...any other Canadian mums out there? I've lived here nearly 7 years...dd is 19 months and so far we've been 'home' to visit 3 times and we stay about a month each time. We're flying back this summer for 6 weeks. Can't wait!! So excited just thinking about it. One thing that has helped with being homesick has been installing a webcam. It's great being able to see them - but I think they prefer to see dd to seeing me or my hubby! We're expecting a second child at Christmas so will miss going home this year (we alternate each year) but I'm sure I'll sneak in a visit once the little once can fly...

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 15:06

Hana - I'm not Canadian but I'm sure the homesickness is the same. I haven't thought of getting a webcam before but that is a really good idea. I might organise that as a Christmas present for my folks and us. Okay, the in laws too if dh insists but that will be under duress.

I try to go home every 12 months and luckily my folks come over to see us every 12 months so we generally have 6 months before seeing each other. Some days it seems so long until I see them again but then when I look back the time just flys.

eidsvold · 28/04/2003 19:10

Lamingtons - ohh my mouth is drooling... what about - tim tams and cherry ripes and home made anzac biscuits and arnotts shapes and polly waffles and other chocolates.. we bought a load back for dh to take to work. They have a tradition where if you go on holiday you have to bring back food from that place to share with the others.. little hard to pack pavlovas and lamingtons etc so we went for biscuits and sweets.

Have made lamingtons in my time - very hard to get lumps of choc/coconut out of ones hair but great to mash in someone elses...

Meanmum · 28/04/2003 20:09

Barbeque Shapes, Chicken-in-a-Biscuit biscuits, tins of passionfruit pulp, scorched peanut bars. My mouth is drooling at the thought of all these yummy Australian treats.

Sorry for anyone feeling homesick as this won't help.

whymummy · 28/04/2003 20:09

hi hana i`m not canadian either but feeling like you,post here anytime you feel like it!

SueW · 28/04/2003 21:03

We made lamingtons with our Beavers on Australia Day this year. They loved them (although were a little suspicious over the coconut initially).

I had to nosey in on this thread as my DH is a Kiwi, I've lived for 9 months in Australia and most of my mum's family are in Canada. I spent a couple of months out there travelling when I was 18 and fell in love with the place. Then when I met DH, his best friend married a Canadian and they moved into a place less than a mile from my cousin. The DH's cousin moved into a place two blocks from my uncle's shop in downtown Toronto.

Small world.....

slug · 29/04/2003 12:52

Sigh... Snifters, jaffas to roll down the isles during movies. Chocolate sulatan pasties!!! My mum sent me a packet of them when the sluglet was born. Hogged them all to myself. But most of all I miss feijoas.

hana · 29/04/2003 16:00

ohhh don't know any of those foods! (must must visit Aust and NZ and try out these foods....
So even though no one will have a clue what these are, thought I'd say what foods I miss from Canada!
root beer.....nice and frosty
Harvey's burgers - and I don't even like hamburgers but could gobble one of these up now on the spot!!
Swiss Miss hot chocolate
Tim Horton's coffee

that's it for now
going to make a snack now...
hana

Meanmum · 29/04/2003 16:11

Hana - I don't want to offend but do you get Babe Ruth bars in Canada. I had one in America and just loved it. I'll add that to my list of foods from around the globe that I am missing.

Can I also add that I miss the snow you get in Canada as I love skiing.

elelulu · 29/04/2003 16:32

Chiara71, I am another Italian here in the UK - I had my daughter 4 months ago here, my parents came here for 4 weeks and since then another week in April. I really miss my family, both for the childcare help I could have and the moral support. I also regret that my parents cannot see their grandaughter as often as they would like. I plan to go to Italy quite often (although I have not yet since my baby's birth).
I also miss my Italian friends (none of my friends overhere came even to meet the girl...some did not even call - just an email - which I found quite disappointing and cold).
As far as the childcare is concerned, I plan to have an au-pair from October, preferably Italian, although I have not found one yet. I would like to have always the same person to look after my baby and think an au-pair could be the best option. Also would like to have always a room for family to visit - so now we are looking for a bigger house an moving more into the country...

Meanmum · 29/04/2003 16:37

I wish I had Italian relatives. I love the way they cherish all children. I'm trying to plan on going there for hols this year so our ds can be spoilt by loads of people that don't even know him.

Oh yeah, they have great maternity leave in Italy as well. Family really is the be all and end all in Italy.

Good luck with the move and aupair elelulu

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