Kif's two big tips:
-
Cash, cash, cash .
We're not in a hole - just running very close to the wind expenditure vs. outgoing. I and Dh did a budget a couple of months ago, where we figured out all our costs (nursery, rent, council tax, car tax, insurance, travelcard etc. etc.). Taking that away from our income gave us a first look at how 'tight' we were. Then we looked at a couple of weeks of receipts, and came to a weekly figure which comprised of the total what we thought was reasonable for food; pocket money (DH and me); and 'large' expenses like clothes, household appliances and such like. It took a bit of debate to set the figure. Obviously you want the budget to balance. However, it is vital that the figure is realistic. Slow and steady wins the race here.
The idea is then that we only use cash - never, ever cards. I withdraw the money every week, me and Dh share it. Weekly is best - then you always have next weeks money just round the corner.
Regular bills go out direct debit or cheque. Everything irregular goes cash. It requires to keep a bit of spare money 'forgotten' in the current account, but I find it much less depressing not to have to 'do' the budget every week. We just check once or twice a month on the internet banking/bill that have come in - mainly to make sure nothing has gone wrong. I try to lay some cash aside in a shoe box every week for large unexpected expenses, but I find that hard to do.
It has worked really, really well for us. One area where it has broken down, tbh, is holidays. They are generally to see family, but the flights and car hire always end up on the never, never. Everything else seems to work out - even if we've had our 'scrabble down the back of the sofa for pennies and eat lentils' weeks.
Which brings me onto Kif's second and equally important rule of budgeting
-
Stay happy
I think budgeting is a bit like dieting - the more you think abuot what you're depriving yourself of the more you end up in the biscuit tin.
After a little adjustment, you do realise that a lot of the good things in life are free. Especially with the weather nice, we picnic in the park a lot. I find it more relaxing than a restaurant tbh, since I don't have to worry about behaviour, or being made to wait too long.
We live in london, and spend a lot of time in the museums - esp. natural history museum. I go down the market to do my shopping - a little bit more of a trip, but while I'm there I can take Dd to the 'pound shop', and the library, so I come home with bags of food and 'fun' for under twenty quid.
So long as you both stick to it, there is a big sense of achievement in sticking to the budget. I always feel 'clever' when I find cheaper options, or still have money at the end of the week.
I think that unless you can adapt your mindset to see the budgeting as a positive/family adventure/innocent childhood fun for your kids/impetus for a more wholesome lifestyle, you'll find it a real drag and drain.
Hope that helps!