The SOUP support group (Sufferers Of Obviously Unhinged Parents)

[fastasleep]

Named by FoundInTranslation, started in honour of Greensleeves :)

Join up and we can sob, moan endlessly and get furious together!

I'll start off eh, to cut a long story short my parents are insane my mum is an alcoholic, although unfortunatley alcohol has this way of setting her off and making her completely paranoid and very abusive...

my Dad's now an alcoholic too, but he stopped talking to me when I was eight, never got an explanation (he's also a pyromaniac with scary fetishes!!)

foxinsocks-yes i eventually had therapy 5 years ago, i then took the courage to tell my father what i thought of him down the phone, i felt like i was in control for the first time.
my mum said he was violent when they were married. heonce put his fist through the door when he missed taking a swing at my mum.

did you feel the therapy helped spacey? I am slightly worried that if I had to talk about it all, it might start to impact me more (iyswim). I also have a slightly scornful view of therapists/psychiatrists/psychologists (apologies to any reading!) after seeing the trauma my mum went through with them.

tyedye, I do think that's a common worry for SOUPs!

no it helped, made me realise i wasnt to blame for my dysfunctional upbringing.

oh that's good - I'm glad it helped

foxinsocks..I currently see a psychologist due to my mum and stepfather. Ongoing but it has helped tremendously.

Spacey yes I do see her..dont know why glutton for punishment I suppose. She doesnt have any contact alone with the kids and it is always on my terms at my house so it is limited visits.

she is lucky you allow her that nemo.

Aww jamsam mine does things like that when drunk

I seriousky hope I'm only unhinged in a good way! It does worry me a lot though, I mean my mum spent my whole childhood repeating 'god forbid that I ever become like my horrible mother' and she was already loopy as well.. a fruit loop!

Oh FAS, don't worry, from wat I know of you I think you're amazing. Me OTOH, every now and then I see bits of my mother emerging and get really shocked and miserable about it.

I've had an email from my parents asking about arrangements for our meeting [gulp]. I'm really bothered and uposet by the language - 'You asked for this meeting' and 'we know you want us to get to know ds'. Do they not have any interest in him at all? :( What am I expecting to change? What am I letting myself in for? :( I've replied asking them if they actually want to meet ds and be grandparents to him. I can't take dh along as they've always refused to meet him :( . Beginning to wonder whether I'm makina a mistake :(

Wanted to link to my thread on all this but the archives seem to be down?

Try using current search FIT, it goes back further than you would think.

My god you can't get along with people who refuse to see your DH that's ridiculous!!

I see bits of mym mum emerging in me too!

Thanks StG :) - sadly not worked.

The search will always be screwy I think they broke it (on purpose mind you)