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Original poster

Going to womens aid tomorrow

87 replies

CKMUM · 11/04/2006 18:48

I tried to leave him before and didn't manage it. I've now arranged to go to a refuge tomorrow. Hope Iget to the station without him following me. Wish me luck. I am in a real state; I am so scared, he will be so angry if he finds me trying to leave

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dinosaure · 13/04/2006 17:48

Oh darn it, CKMUM.

Can you get on to Womens' Aid and get them to tee up something for next week when the children will be past the infectious stage?

Original poster
CKMUM · 13/04/2006 17:49

they can hold rooms for 24 hours only

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Original poster
CKMUM · 19/04/2006 20:16

chicken pox dried up now so will start ringing round womens aid again tomorrow

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pashmina · 20/04/2006 10:54

good luck, I really hope you make it this time

tortoise · 20/04/2006 10:59

Good luck ckmum.

Kelly1978 · 20/04/2006 11:03

good luck Smile

fireflyfairy2 · 20/04/2006 11:05

You need to go and now

My aunt was put in womans aid the very day she called them! Her husband threw her down the stair when he saw her bags packed and hit her friend with a hammer, the police was called and they escorted her to the refuge. You need to make the move soon hun!

Blu · 20/04/2006 11:06

The very best of luck, CKMUM.
Whatever else you pack or don't pack, remember any passports for you and kids, paperwork about your bank account, NHS cards for you and kids, kids birth certificates, details of any benefits - your children's allowance letter etc.
He will almost certainly try to smoke you out by doing everything he can to cut you off from any money. Take your share from any joint accounts.

tortoise · 21/04/2006 17:18

How did you get on CKMUM? Have you got somewhere to go?

Original poster
CKMUM · 21/04/2006 18:57

not yet, thanks for thinking about me

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Original poster
CKMUM · 23/04/2006 11:48

Womens aid have just rung me back, I am going to try again tomorrow. Police came out last night but said noone from DVU available to talk to me and police man that came out isnt sure whether myhusband can stop me taking the children. Husband often says i can go but girls can't and that if I take them without his permission then i am breaking the law. I asked police whetehr it was breaking the law they said they don't know

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LadySherlockofLGJ · 23/04/2006 12:00

That is bloody disgraceful, even if they didn't know they should have had a point of reference to call. Angry

Nikkinoo · 23/04/2006 12:41

Nice and caring of the police eh? Really hope that you can get out of this safely with your children

Blu · 23/04/2006 12:49

CKMUM - I am sure you can take the children. Obviously, you MUST take the childre! Women's aid will be very used to men trying to use the children as a way to stop women leaving.
Call them on 0808 2000 247 for re-assurance.

tortoise · 23/04/2006 12:53

This must be getting realy stressful for you.Im shocked that you cant seem to get help to get you out a.s.a.p.If you or/and your children are at risk then i thought u should of been found somewhere safe by now.hope you get out soon.Smile

fireflyfairy2 · 23/04/2006 12:56

You are not breaking the law. You are removing them for their own and your safety.

Freckle · 23/04/2006 16:03

Absolute bollocks. You can of course take your children out of a potentially dangerous situation with a violent partner.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You can leave now and take your children with you. Keep detailed records of all violence, etc., and, if your partner decides to take legal action, produce this as evidence of his unsuitability to be in charge of young children.

I find it unbelievable that the police are being so wishy washy about it. They know absolutely what the law is and the DVU should be able to advise them if they are unsure. I don't believe they are unsure though, just being unhelpful.

teacups · 23/04/2006 18:21

CKMum - I hope you are ok. You are not breaking the law if you remain in England and Wales with your children. I don't know if you are married or if your ex partner has parental responsibility (if you aren't married, you would have had to sign something to give it to him) but you cannot take the children abroad without the consent of everyone with parental resp or a court order. If you did, then ex H / p could get a court order requiring you to come back to this country and decide where the children are going to live.

That said, you MUST take the children when you go. The court is very keen on the status quo for children and I have seen cases in practice where the mum has "gone on ahead" and hasn't been able to get the children back with her without a real fight. You can (and should) take them with you to somewhere safe - you won't be breaking any laws. I absolutely echo what freckle said about keeping a diary of what has gone on. It will stand you in good stead if things get to court.

I am so sorry things are so rough for you. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Do you need clothes / chemist stuff ? Thinking of you and your children. Take care.
X

Original poster
CKMUM · 26/04/2006 07:42

i ma still here, every time i plan it too much something happens, so when i go it will probably me a more sudden thing. So i was wondering if any og you lovely ladies who have been supporting me on here would be prpared to let me have a number for them, as when i do go i won't have much internet access anymore and would like to keep in touch

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Original poster
CKMUM · 26/04/2006 10:29

bump

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Original poster
CKMUM · 26/04/2006 15:22

found sevrl refuges to day, the best one sounded brillian with loads of support but manager in a metting all day so won't ring meback until tomorrow. The others have nos paces or not for two children

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Original poster
CKMUM · 26/04/2006 15:23

sorry my spellings terrible today!

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Original poster
CKMUM · 26/04/2006 15:23

sorry my spellings terrible today!

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Original poster
CKMUM · 27/04/2006 01:45

got train tickets for travel today. cant sleep as i am so worried in case i get followed to station

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blueteddy · 27/04/2006 07:30

Good luck, ckmum. Hope you manage to get away today.xx

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