I don't think my friend could have been any more insensitive really

[emkana]

I'm 31 weeks, baby is suspected to have achondroplasia (dwarfism).

Talked to a friend on the phone today. In the course of the conversation she came up with these little treasures:

Me (about the likely diagnosis): "It could be a lot worse"
Her: "Yeah but it could also be a lot better."

I told her that my SIL has just had a healthy baby girl.
My friend: "So how do you cope with other people having healthy children?"

Then at the end she said "I wasn't going to mention the diagnosis anyway."
Well I certainly wish she hadn't, if that's what she's got to say about it...

I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but it really wasn't helpful.

eidsvold has put it very well : "
I quickly learnt that those who were not supportive, pleased for us and our babe were not worthy of a place in our lives - harsh but figured we had enough prejudice to deal with from strangers without taking crap from people who were supposed to be our 'friends'."

A few people got jettisoned after dd2 was born, such as the cousin who rang me and moaned about his work problems for an hour after I'd just got back from the hospital where 7 week old dd had to be rather dramatically resuscitated on that day due to complications following her heart surgery - he also managed to call her a mongol in the same conversation - quite some feat to be so offensive.

You'll meet new, nicer, more interesting people through your child. I don't mean that you have to publicly 'dump' a friend, but letting it all cool is sometimes the best option.

Emkana - I think twinkie is right about Child of our time, I remember a couple (wife had blond hair?) whose son had achondroplasia. I seem to remember he only began to seem "different" to other children when he reached aged 3

There is a child of our time website - Maybe he will feature on there?

Can't find it on the website - will start a thread about it, maybe somebody on here knows more.

emkana was at an outpatient's visit with dd1 today and saw the most beautiful little boy - he was cute, charming, threw a wobbler like other children when he got sick of waiting AND he just happened to have a form of dwarfism...obviously couldn't tell you which one but he was scooting around with my two. He was about 14 months old I think his mum said - gorgeous wee boy.

Also - don't know if I told you but I have recently read a book that has a story of a couple who both have a form of dwarfism ( different one each) and their desire to have children - I think they had four children in the end - all of whom have some form of dwarfism - sorry can't remember the correct terms - so please forgive my ignorance - BUT they seemed and amazing couple - fabulous story.

\link{http://www.spinifexpress.com.au/non-fict/db.htm\amazing book} made me laugh, smile, cry, rage BUT very positive in the end.

I don't think it was child of our time

It was a programme focusing on children with special needs - there was a Down's syndrome boy and the boy with achondroplasia and I think a child with spina bifida (can't quite remember). I'll have a look for you.

I remember it... was the child called Hamish

wasn't it called Born to be different....

Here it is - channel 4's \link{http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/D/different/series.html\Born to Be Different}

was just about to google it foxinsocks... you bet me to it...

Thank you all.
I did see Born to be different, and the little boy Hamish was one of the first things I thought of when they told me about the likely diagnosis.