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Original poster

A bit disturbed: just found out one of the mothers at the school gate is a...

44 replies

ponygirl · 29/03/2006 16:42

...prostitute! And is a regular drugs user. Her dd is in my dd's class.

We live in a rural village with a population of about 1,000, the school has about 160 children. It's apparently common knowledge. I'd suspected the drug thing because she's usually quite distant at the school gate, but one day she was incredibly OTT friendly, but it didn't seem right for drunk iykwim. Next day, she was back to brush-off mode. I've heard this from 4 different sources today, including a list of various clients, how many condoms she's been buying and the fact that her dd (5) is in the pub til late every night.

I've surprised myself with how disturbed by this I feel. Part of me shrugs it off: she's responsible for her own life choices. But I feel realy Sad for her dd. My dd really likes hers, she's a waif-like little thing.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 29/03/2006 16:45

One of my dds was friends with a little girl who was on the at risk register - drugs in the house, mother very promiscuous and frequent police involvement. Very sweet child, if a bit vacant. Always made sure she came to play at mine, rather than the other way round. Otherwise, no problems with it at all.

FastasleepQueenLentilWeaver · 29/03/2006 16:45

I'd probably want to take her dd home with me and give her a good meal a nice bath and plonk her in front of the tv with a hot choccy and a dvd....but I'm such an unbelievable softy, I'd have a billion waifs queing up in my kitchen for flipping turkey twizzlers or something if I let it get to me..

CountessDracula · 29/03/2006 16:45

well I guess someone has to be :(

Her poor dd, all you can do is not reject her because of her mother really.

CountessDracula · 29/03/2006 16:46

btw I lived next door to a drug using prostitute and she was lovely, a really kind person. (i was drug using student at the time so we had something in common!)

FioFio · 29/03/2006 16:47

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expatinscotland · 29/03/2006 16:47

Her poor daughter! I'd have her to mine if you dd wanted to play with her.

Enid · 29/03/2006 16:48

there were rumours that a woman who used to live in my village was a prostitute

she had two very unkempt looking sons

I got to know her and actually she was an artist, a bit of a pisshead but certainly not a prostitute. She did have a very, er, laid back approach to parenting and eventually got kicked out of her cottage because her sons lit a bonfire in the middle of teh sitting room Shock

so take it with a pinch of salt

FioFio · 29/03/2006 16:50

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collision · 29/03/2006 16:58

I took on a girl who was the daughter of a prostitute! She used to come to my house once a week and I gave her a hot meal (she had never had one before!) Sad She had a bath at my house and I did her hair and gave her lots of bath oil!!

i took her to the hairdressers and had all her hair cut because of the lice and the fact that a brush couldnt go through it half the time!

i helped her with her school work and eventually she went to college, passed all her exams, left home and got married. She is a joy to know and her mother is horrid. She has disowned her Mum and she and I are still very close.

She was 9 when i first knew her and is now 22.

These children are not to blame for their parents and need a lot of love.

expatinscotland · 29/03/2006 17:06

Collision
My dad's mum took in a LOT of kids whose 'mothers worked at night', even though they had little to eat, her table was always open and her bath always hot.

This was in a rough neighbourhood in the 1950s. Even though some later had problems, they all repsected 'Mama Concha' (God help you if you didn't). Two became doctors, and one a politician.

They were ALL at her funeral when she died at 92 and it was very touching.

Two, who had spent long time in prisons, spoke about how she was the only mother's love they ever felt Sad.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 29/03/2006 17:18

i know a woman like this but she is too tight to buy condoms, her money is rather spent on crack cocaine and heroin.
When i worked in the pub, this woman used to send her 6yo dd at closing time to sell crappy old cd's or any old shite for pennies towards her mothers next bag or fix.
I gave the girl a couple of quid and told her not to show her mum but to keep it for herself and if she ever needed anything I was always there for her.
I also told her that if her mum sent her to the pub again to let me know
(as i would of ripped off her head and put her head on a stick)
but she never came in again.
Her mother has been threatened many times by the locals over the condition of her dd and since the threats her dd has been treated far more better, hot meal, clean etc.

It is common knowledge what she will do if she is even 40p short of a bagShock

Original poster
ponygirl · 29/03/2006 17:38

There's some good advice here, thank you all.

The day she was really friendly, she talked about inviting my dd over to play with her, which, even then, filled me with horror. I wouldn't mind her dd coming here, because she is a sweet little thing. Dd has talked about inviting her over (which I have no problem with) but she has a solid circle of close friends so it hasn't become a pressing issue yet. The mother isn't really encouraging friendly contact, though, so the situation may not arise. I certainly wouldn't exclude the child because of the mother, anyway. Poor little thing needs all the support she can get.

OP posts:
kama · 29/03/2006 17:54

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Crackle · 29/03/2006 18:42

Not Safe For Kids...........

I used to stand next to this lady\link{http://debbiesworld.co.uk!!!!!} at our old school. Grin

geekgrrl · 29/03/2006 18:44

Crackle, what a corker - are you serious?!?!Grin

CHICagoMUM · 29/03/2006 18:47

Crackle Shock that should have come with a warning!!!!!! DD (4) just walked into the room as I open the link (shut it done pdq and I don't think she saw).

crunchie · 29/03/2006 18:49

Crackle, it's the mumsy glasses !! :o

Nightynight · 29/03/2006 18:51

I got blocked at work for trying to access a pornographic siteBlush

Nightynight · 29/03/2006 18:57

but in answer to your original point ponygirl, I think there is a lot of good advice on this thread.

Enid's point about knowing the truth is a good one. A woman in our village is supposed to have had all her children (10) by different men - its a pack of lies, she has been divorced once, and is happily married to her dh!

Agree with the others, you cant really turn your back on a child because of its parents.

stitch · 29/03/2006 19:01

omg.
yuck
how horrible for you.

welshboris · 29/03/2006 19:05

Why is it horrible for her? If she really thinks the little girl may be in danger, then she should go to S.S

If not, then why should the womans profession bother her?

satine · 29/03/2006 19:26

Agree that the rumours may be just that. A family who live opposite me in our tiny rural village have been branded "the family from hell" and "drug pushers" by some who hardly know them. It's completely unfounded - they are lovely, drug free (as far as I can tell!) and have 4 polite, bright kids.

busybusybee · 29/03/2006 19:28

Collision I am really inspired by your post - Well done to you! I bet the girl is so grateful to you!

Crackle · 29/03/2006 21:14

CHICagoMUM. I did put 'Not safe for kids' at the top of my post. Sorry if that wasn't enough of a warning that the contents weren't actually safe for kids.Wink

Geekgrrl, not only did I used to stand next to her at the school gate but I also saw her one hot and sunny day in town wearing a very long, heavy coat. We chatted for ages. Now I realise that she was probably starkers under it.Grin

aelita · 29/03/2006 21:19

My one encounter with a prostitute was when I was staggering in a happy drunken state across a bridge in Sunderland on a cold night and saw a woman in just a tee-shirt trying to climb over and throw herself in the river. Sobered up pretty damn quickly and held on to her til the police arrived, while her client (she'd run from his car) hovered around moaning about getting his money back! She just kept whispering 'I want the river' Sad. She had 5 kids, the eldest of which had just run away from home. It was clear she loved them, but she just couldn't cope with the state her life was in. It's the single most depressing encounter I've ever had. To to those of you who say 'OMG, yuck', don't judge too harshly - most of us don't know we're born...

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