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Original poster

A bit disturbed: just found out one of the mothers at the school gate is a...

44 replies

ponygirl · 29/03/2006 16:42

...prostitute! And is a regular drugs user. Her dd is in my dd's class.

We live in a rural village with a population of about 1,000, the school has about 160 children. It's apparently common knowledge. I'd suspected the drug thing because she's usually quite distant at the school gate, but one day she was incredibly OTT friendly, but it didn't seem right for drunk iykwim. Next day, she was back to brush-off mode. I've heard this from 4 different sources today, including a list of various clients, how many condoms she's been buying and the fact that her dd (5) is in the pub til late every night.

I've surprised myself with how disturbed by this I feel. Part of me shrugs it off: she's responsible for her own life choices. But I feel realy Sad for her dd. My dd really likes hers, she's a waif-like little thing.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
Skribble · 29/03/2006 22:30

Ah the joys of little villages and the gossip. There are people who won't do their business in our village post office and go to the next town as they don't want the whole village to know their business.

WideWebWitch · 29/03/2006 22:46

Shock crackle at that site, really? Did she know you knew, did she tell people about it or what? Bleurgh!

collision · 29/03/2006 22:46

Thanks BBB Smile

I wasnt posting for that really. Just to say that ......dont know really.....but these kids whose parents have different lifestyles! really just want to be loved and taken care of and the OP struck a chord with me. some children have really unhappy lives Sad

joash · 29/03/2006 22:54

Regardless of whether or not the women is a prostitute or drug user - I think we would probably all be surprised if we knew the truth about how many other mums at the school gate are prostitutes or drug users.
When I did my last degree, I did a long term project on violence against prostitutes and interviewd lots of sex workers ...and take it from me - the ones who are...are not the ones you might expect to be.

BudaBabe · 29/03/2006 23:08

We've got 2 porn stars here - married to each other!

And a transvestite.......

collision · 29/03/2006 23:09

where?

colditz · 29/03/2006 23:20

Hmmm...

The whole village used to be aware that we were "drug pushing dole-scroungers"...

... which is a bit odd, as I thought I was a care assistant Wink. Strange what you can get up to in your sleep!

BudaBabe · 29/03/2006 23:20

Budapest

tuppenceworth · 29/03/2006 23:40

Silly question but exactly how do you know she's a prostitute and how do you know she takes drugs??

Original poster
ponygirl · 29/03/2006 23:57

Thank you all for your posts. Lots of food for thought and they have helped me get some perspective.

Tuppenceworth: in the last 24 hours I've been told by 4 separate sources that she is. One of the people that told me has discussed it with a couple of her regulars. At first I didn't believe it (I am pretty cynical about the gossip-spreading in my village!), but I've been told so much detail about who she is 'seeing' that short of asking her myself, I'm persuaded. As to the drugs, the detail on that is just as explicit, down to the name of her dealer (which was a bit of a Shock as well).

I agree that it could all be gossip and be untrue, but in a way, the truth has become irrelevant. The gossip is so entrenched now that it is assumed to be true, and I can't imagine how that tide could be turned now. I think the implications of that for the dd are sad. It may die down, but that's unlikely if her dd is spending evenings in the pub til late: the village gossips might be liberal about a bit of prostitution, but they strongly disapprove of that kind of treatment of a young child!

OP posts:
nannyme · 30/03/2006 00:02

Work those stereotypes ladeez!

JayzMummy · 30/03/2006 00:07

Crackle....if you know here then you are very local to me cus I know her too!! Had the pleasure once of calling the police cus she was naked in the kids playpark whilst her DH was happily snapping away whilst she was going down the kiddies firemans pole!!! Yuck....never let my guys go to that park again!!

wannaBe1974 · 30/03/2006 12:29

Firstly I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Even prostitutes and drug users are human beings at the end of the day. Who knows what kind of desperation has caused her to turn to this profession. If the rumours are true, then one has to give her credit at least for buying condoms and keeping herself safe in that way. You say she’s always there to drop off/pick up her dd? Well at least she’s there for her and the child doesn’t appear to be being neglected or palmed off on to others. If the rumours about her being a drug user etc are true and so wide-spread, it is highly likely that s.s are already aware and have the matter in hand.

Tbh, while I can’t understand how any woman could have sex for money, I think that generally one can only sympathise with the fact that a person can have such a low opinion of herself that she has turned to this means of earning a living. Not all prostitutes are prostitutes because they need to feed their drug habbits, initially a lot of them take drugs to forget what they’re doing, they become dependent on the drugs, and then have to have more clients in order to buy the drugs that help them forget – it becomes a vicious cycle that is almost impossible to break. Not everyone has the same opportunities in life – there but for the grace of god go any of us ..

Tortington · 30/03/2006 13:09

i treat people how i think i would like to be treated. if they are twats to me, i am a twat back.

i would be mindful of the gossip and not tell anyone else.

In your situation if someone told me another mother was a prostitute i would say " good for her, at least she gets paid for it, more nuse than us har di har"

that tells people that your not shocked by it and they should really fuck off and keep their opinions to themselves

if i thought a child of anyone despite profession or drug use was being harmed mentally or physically then i would call SS. but i wouldn't call becuase she is either a prostitute or a drug user.

AnnieSG · 30/03/2006 13:13

Can I just say: Collision - you are a lovely person.

oliveoil · 30/03/2006 13:17

Hmmm, village gossips are to be taken with a pinch of salt imo.

Can you imagine if it isn't true? Dreadful.

How on earth do they know how many condoms she is buying, is the woman in Boots keeping a tally?

If true, then I wouldn't want my dd's going to the house but I would gladly entertain them at mine. Why not invite the mum as well for coffee and fish a bit to get the truth?

Crackle · 30/03/2006 13:20

Jayzmummy - I was driving into Braunton last Autumn and my boy said 'whats that lady doing?' She was stood outside that surf-shop/cafe (The Grind? Looks like a garage) with a long skirt on and a coat with her boobs hanging out the front.Grin

I said that I expected she was a bit hot!

My kids are used to seeing me wobbling about the house in my undies so no biggie to us.

Very, very, strange to do it in the street though.

Original poster
ponygirl · 30/03/2006 16:38

OO - she buys the condoms in our local Co-op, which in the evening is staffed almost exclusively by school gate mothers!

I'm not going to be spreading the gossip: the potential for harm if it's not true is horrible. I feel for the little girl, but as far as I can tell she's pretty well looked after (apart from the pub thing). I hadn't thought of her as neglected before. It is usually her mum who collects and drops her off, though sometimes there's a man who is there.

Thanks for all your posts!

OP posts:
JayzMummy · 30/03/2006 23:07

Crackle....we spotted her in the frozen food aisle (in the big supermarket at the end of the link road) and lets say she must have been very very cold!!!!
Heard she has now been banned from the supermarket near Roundwell cus the manager happened to find the piccies of her messing about with the fruit and veg!!!

My mate owned that cafe bar....bet she doesnt know her premises where used as a background for porno pics Shock

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