Describe the cheeziest couple you know

[Pruni]

That's it really
I fancy a laugh
Following a conversation today...

Cheesiest pair I know paddle hands after dinner. It's kind of like sex but you only touch hands. It is utterly foul and really someone should say something but how could one put it?

One couple we know drive us both mad when we socialise as at some point later in the evening he will (with no invitation) put his head on her lap and insists in a very childish pouty fashion that she rubs his hair. This drives me in particular round the bend!

Some other of our very good friends are deeply disturbing from the point of view that he does ALL the shopping and I have to agree with (I think it was Cod) that this is not right. But the worst bit is he also buys underwear (seeks out good makes for her ampleness) and also buys tampons etc at the correct time of the month for her as she claims she forgets! They are childless too - I'm not sure this explains this! Or perhaps its her very executive job I don't know really

Oh god, I've just remembered; a friend and her then partner came round to a party at my house, and she sat on his lap and they murmured to each other for ages, and then she got very hurt because he dared to have a conversation with someone else - when (a) she knew quite a few other people there (b) far from gazing heatedly down a voluptuous cleavage, he was talking about the Labour Party to a very boring bloke. And then she sent me an email later to 'apologise' saying sorry, they'd got into a very interesting discussion about Their Relationship on the way to our place so they just couldn't resist continuing it...

...then they had a very cheesy wedding...

...and now she's dumped him.

Omg the last two are ghastly...especially the head in lap/hair rubbing. The things you see when you haven't got that much needed bucket to puke in!

couple at college (called each other the Bunnies - bleughhhh) used to revise together, with notes on those little colour-coded cards...aahhhhhh!

saw couple walking nr holborn this morning...their two kids looked vaguely normal but the adults had matching green bomber jackets (with football motif!)

hausy, were they called the krankies??

My Aunty and her third Husband are very Cheezy. They once made out on the sofa in front of my very repressed Gran, and his hands where absoloutely everywhere, up her skirt and everything . My dad who was also there and says to this day it was the most embarrasing experience of his life. I think the worst bit is that they are in their sixties, and have been married a good ten years.

lol at MI

yes the stone heart couple are very odd third marriage for her ( she i in her late 30s) and second for him
her legs only function if she is conncecte to him so they cannot walk aroudn wihtout holding hands even if it pissing down and htey wodld do beetter running to the car

Had a friend who called the couples you are describing 'umbils' as they were connected by the umbilical cord!

I know a couple who have known eachother for around 10 years (only married last year) and he cannot keep his hands off her (they have 5yo dd).

I have even seen him pick the hard skin off her feet (sat on the grass at a concert). How I didn't barf, I don't know.

And he straigtens her hair for her (v.bizarre)

They came round to our for Sun lunch and DP and I were in the kitchen briefly - when we came out with pudding they were sticking their tongues down eachothers throats.

As my DP's mum would say 'Too good to be wholesome' (whatever that means)

Feistybird, that is just weird.

That would drive me mad - I'd be like "Get Offf Me !!"

Yee-uck. Why do none of these people realise that no-one wants to see these things in public?

Thank heavens I don't know anyone like this but couldn't avoid a couple at my train station yesterday who were snogging horribly. Tongues and squelchy noises and all. And stood right under the departure board so you had to keep looking at them because the trains were late and getting later. Nasty nasty nasty.

Dh used to try to hold my hand on the tube and even that embarrassed me, let alone all the stuff on here.

Oh dear
I think we are the cheesiest couple I know. We never have shouty arguments, we have a bath for two and call each other Baby (but we call our kids Baby too, it gets very confusing.) We have a joint email address but it doesn't look like one iyswim.
I'm also fascinating at this handpaddling thing...tell me more!

Ah, cheesy...Totally agree JoolsToo - grown adults talking to pets/each other in a babyish whiny voice is deeply weird. Who are those people who place ads on Valentines Day: 'Snuggle Bumfluff loves his Krispy Kreme Kitten' bleeeurrrgggg. Do these peopole have responsible jobs? Should they be allowed out alone?

Is it just me, or do you find adults who don't have children are the worst for cheesy lovee dovee conversations, keeping way too large a collection of fluffy teddies/dolls etc.

DH friends came to dinner. Husband perfectly normal. Wife got trollied (insisted on drinking out of her own 'Pink Baby' baby sham glass - WTF?). Having nothing against Kiwis but hearing her (an NZ expat) going 'Cam tai mummeee' to my cat in nasal twang constantly wore a bit thin. And btw, wearing Disney clothes (Pooh rugby shirt) really not flattering. You are 38 woman FFS! And all this from a woman who didn't want kids because she didn't like babies....

Just sprayed at CDs 'baybeee, I thought Id lost you'