Have just got in and am still shaking, got told to &^%^&** off in town today by an eldery gentleman!!!!!!

[spacecadet]

Im so furious about this and upset as i had my 18 month dd with me at the time.
basically was queing in a shop in town this morning, came my turn to pay, so i walked down the other end to pack my shopping, turned round and this man (approx age early seventies) wandered through past the till and stood there behind me!!, his wife also walked through and stood to the left of me and as i was about to key in my pin number, so i turned to this man and asked him politely to move back, which was ignored, so i had to key in my number with him stood right behind me.
after id done that, as i took my receipt i turned and said"i thought you were going to pay for my sbopping"(in a sarcastic voice), he just glared at me, so i said" its very intimidating when people stand behind you when you are paying, you should keep back off the till", his wife retorted, "oh shove off you silly woman!!" and he shouted at me, "oh why dont you just F$^^k off!!!!!" i was flabbergasted, but managed to quip back"oh, foul mouthed as well as ignorant", i was physically shaking when i walked out of there, to make matters worse, the checkout operator shouted after me"oi whats youyr problem!!"

people do this to me all the time.

I would definately complain about the no doubt spotty youth that served you- that is just as disgusting.

surprisingly enough it was a woman about my age.

I used to work for Wilkos, got a lovely fancy training session for three days, all very posh. Really seemed to be focused on customer care. My local one up here is appalling though. I go there a lot, and not one of the CSA's ever aknowledge you, they are always gossiping and shouting to each other. The other day at the sweetie displays at the tills, a loose light bulb was there, just in DS's reach, which he dutifully reached out and grabbed, and dropped and smashed. Was tutted at and they demanded an explanation.

ive got to give her , her dues though and say the assistant manageress was very understanding.

SC I would be interested to know what the manager says when she calls you back

spacey - don't get upset honey. Sounds like a grumpy old sod had to have his daily fill of pissing someone off and unfortunately, you were in his firing line. The person on the till clearly was a spineless wimp who didn't want to get a load of mouth from him either so did the cowardly thing and backed the grumpy old git.

Good for you for complaining - fwiw I think the Chip and Pin thing is flawed in that the hand sets seem to be quite open and exposed so if anyone is standing too close, they could easily read your pin no.

Cod - back off ok?

all i asked the assistant manageress that they looked into the privacy at the tills and instructed their cashiers not to let anyone walk through while someone was paying.

i hate people standing too close to me.., apart from at tills..just anywhere.

the old ones are the worst i find. i cannot count the number of times they have slammed a door in my face, or ive held one open for them with no thanks at all (i usually shout "thankyou" as loud as i can when this happens).

there's nothing though, that winds me up as much as the bus. im standing there in the buggy zone, not moving off with the buggy until the bus actually stops (no problem there, buggyzone is at the front, i do move into the aisle so its quite clear i want to get off at this stop). the queue of elderly people (oh yes, they can move fast enough when they want to) rush onto the bus, before i can get off. then they do exaggerated limping and tutting and squeezing past my buggy for all theyre worth and i think "ffs...why didnt you just let me get off first? is that so hard to do?"

Sounds like a horrible experience Spacecadet - try and put it to the back of your mind rather than dwell on it. You did nothing wrong and sounded as if you were politely assertively.

Just want to generally comment on the direction of this thread. I find old people as likely to be nice / rude / lovely or ignorant as I do middle aged or young people. I genuinely have not noticed any discernible difference based on age.

There is a lot of insidious ageism in this society (terms like miserable old codger trip off the tongue) and I think we therefore unconsciously expect old people to be grumpy (infact remember that tv programme "grumpy old men" - see, more of the negative stereotyping)- so if we happen to come across and old person who fits this (largely unwarranted) stereotype it just reinforces our prejudice...

And yet when a 43 year old woman is vile towards us next time we are in a restaurant / at the cinema, we don't think "That's the problem with 43 year old women!)

There I think I've been quite measured there (I've been fighting the impulse to be caustically critical)

i have to disagree hmc. i am as civil, polite and helpful, if not more helpful, to elderly people as i am to anyone, yet i have found them to be incredibly rude, more so than middle aged or young people.

i worked in shops when i was a teenager and i can say that the elderly people were the ones i would dread serving.

the times when an elderly lady has dropped her purse and i have tried to help pick her money up for her, only to be shouted at as if im trying to steal.......

ok, thought I was just paranoid but I find lately I am either stretching to punch in my pin number as someone stands beside it or I am feeling a cart at my back. Back off people! Glad you are complaining spacecadet, every little bit helps. I don't think you are obsessing, it will feel better to write a letter of complaint that is entirely justified.

Spacecadet - he wasn't a gentleman was he? He was just a rude old man, my dad's an old gentleman and would have told this nasty git to keep a civil tongue in his head.

I once heard him say this to a rude swearing driver - made the rude man look ridiculous for getting overheated

I'm kind of with Handlemecarefully, I've got a lot of time for the oldies and if you're all smiley and happy, especially with baby in tow, they often strike up a conversation in the supermarket or even in the street.

I think it's harder to feel valued as you get older - society is so geared to servicing the needs of young people and the earning population - the 'economically inactive' get a bit of a raw deal.

it doesnt really matter how old this man was, i wasnt taking issue with his age, it was his behaviour.

It did not matter to you Spacecadet, but his age was seized upon by plenty of others in a feed frenzy of ageism

or 'feeding frenzy even'

grumpy old gits are grumpy old gits though. It's a descriptive term, nothing to do with pc or un-pc (I don't believe in pc anyway its just another form of thought police fascism)

Spacey

It happened, get over it move on........

Surely you have larger items that need dealing with ATM ??

Don't be trite. I wasn't being pc. It makes me laugh - the thought of me being pc (would make my friends laugh too). It's a no brainer that society is ageist.

I'm ageist all the time...little snotty kids; miscreant youths; menopausal women; grumpy old gits. If someone is rude/obnoxious/ill mannered/all of the above then I'll call them as I see them!

LGJ
why does everyone think i havent moved on?
i posted what happened, then updated it.
oh and i just happened to make a comment about not being bothered about the persons age, whats the big deal????
am i posting on here every five mins, resurrecting the thread saying how upset i am 4 days later??
no im not,i complained, its being dealt with.
what other larger things are you referring to LGJ?
my broken marriage?
my baby?
yep, i do have all those to deal with, but i just so happened to post about other stuff too and its probably because im so miserable at the mo, that on the day it happened, it upset me, but i have hardly been losing sleep over it.
however i lose many a nights sleep over the other stuff, but im sure as eggs going to do my best not to let it take over.
cos if i do, i dread to think what will happen
im trying to keep it together, its my sons birthday today and he wants a smiley happy mum, not a depressed one.............

Hi spacecadet. I'm really not a "hugs" person, but I'd really like to give you a hug!

And a big Happy Birthday to your ds!

thanks ponygirl. i fear now though that everytime i post on here, i will be accused of obsessing.

I can not see what the problem is all i can see is that sc has just updated what she has done like most people do on the threads they start! Why tell her to move on.....?
Don't you think thats a bit wrong?

I am sorry you are having such a crap time Sc with life & all your problems, its probably nice for you to come on mn & talk about other things as well as all your home problems etc.

Happy Birthday to your Ds are you doing anything nice today?

you hit the nail on the head mum2oneandonemore,thank you.
ds was up with the birds this morning! couldnt wait to open his pressies, he is having a party on sunday.