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Original poster

Just need to tell someone/anyone!

26 replies

Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 10:42

We were due to have our secret wedding in three weeks and now I've called it off. I'm so, so sad. Dp and I have been through so much in the last 18 months and I think it's finally taken it's toll. Obviously no one knew about the wedding but some very kind mners have given me advice on what to wear etc for which I am very grateful, but I just needed to 'tell' someone how heartbroken I am, although it is probably for the best.

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 28/02/2006 10:44

Oh dear,It is a very brave thing to say, well actually NO it is not the right thing to do.

MarsOnLife · 28/02/2006 10:45

I'm sorry honey. Sad

Katemum · 28/02/2006 10:46

I am so sorry.

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 10:46

Why not the right thing to do?

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 10:46

Sad but better to do it now than regret it afterwards.

Is it just the wedding that is cancelled or the whole relationship ?

heavenis · 28/02/2006 10:47

That's really sad.

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 10:47

Don't know about relationship, just feel in tatters at the moment.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 10:48

{{{{{hug}}}}}

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 10:49

Thanks NomDePlume, really need a hug right now.

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 28/02/2006 10:50

SMKiddies.

I was trying to say that it takes guts to walk away,and admit that perhaps the wedding was not the right way to go at the moment.

NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 10:51

Is there anyone in RL that you can talk to ? I know the wedding was secret, but do you have a good friend that you could confide in ?

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 10:52

Oh I see LadySherlock, not really with it at the moment.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 10:52

As lovely as us MNers are (modest Wink), there's no substitute for an RL hug and listening ear. x

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 10:53

NomDePlume, my best friend was the biggest opponent of us getting together in the first place. We moved across country last summer and haven't really made new friends. Feel very lonely right now.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 11:06

can you pick up the phone, or will you be faced with thinly veiled 'I told you so' ?

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 11:07

Wouldn't be thinly veiled at all, it would be so in my face, just couldn't cope with that at all. Only just managed the school run today as am on the verge of tears all the time.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 28/02/2006 11:15

good for you smk
if you arn't sure, then this is certainly the right thing to do
it takes balls though.

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 11:17

Can't believe I've done this, he was my childhood sweethear, the love of my life, I just feel destroyed.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2006 11:26

I think getting over 'what might have been' is so painful and difficult, but a thousand times better than putting up with something that is just not right. Sad I really feel for you.

NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 11:28

If he's the 'love of your life' why have you done this ? Sorry if that is an impertinent question given current circumstances, but there must be a reason for you feeling that it's not right ? Beating yourself up with 'childhood sweetheart' and 'love of my life' comments isn;t helping you.

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 11:28

The 'what might have been' was supposed to be put right in three weeks time, we should have originally married 20 years ago so it looks like I'm going for the double!

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 11:32

NomDePlume, we have had such a turbulent 18 months, things have happend to us it that time that only happen once in a lifetime! everything crammed into 18 months, one thing after another. Starting to wonder if we are together because of circumstances. Last night he said a lot of things that made me realise that he just hasn't or can't open up to me. It hit me that perhaps we were marrying because we should have all those years ago.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 11:36

So you have got back together after a long period apart ? I see now. Would something like realet help him to be more open ?

Original poster
Somanykiddies · 28/02/2006 11:41

Sorry, forgot to say we were childhood sweethearts, met at 11, dated from 14 to nearly 18, did all the growing up stuff together including first sexual experience for both of us, a huge misunderstanding split us but we are back together after over 20 years. Of course we both have baggage and lots of kiddies! He really wouldn't go to Relate, very blokey but very private. I lost him once, don't want to lose him again but I'm so confused.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 28/02/2006 11:45

Poor you, sounds like a real dilemma

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