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Original poster

Friend on a life support machine!!

63 replies

mummygow · 26/02/2006 22:31

Got a call from a friend today to tell me that my dh and I friend was in hospital on a life support machine, we rushed up to hospital.

He has a fractured skull, bleading in the brain and is clinically brain dead.

They did not know if he had fallen or been hit - it turns out that 3 independant witnesses have came forward to say that they seen him being attacked at 1am this morning.

They are going to do a test at 6am and them again at 7am if there is no brain activity they are talking about switching the life support machine off.

Does anyone have any encouraging stories to keep me going during the night.

Sorry for posting such a horrible story but looking for some light!!

OP posts:
Elf1981 · 26/02/2006 22:32

no encouraging stories, just wanted to send some warm thoughts mg, here's hoping

Flossam · 26/02/2006 22:34

Sorry, very hard to be encouraging. I work in this field as a nurse and they very rarely state such things to relatives without being certain. Obviously they need to check again to be 100% sure. But I think you should expect him to pass away.

On a more positive note he won't be in any pain and will not be aware. Sorry I can't say anything nicer.

I really am very very sorry and I hope I might be wrong. xxx

Smurfgirl · 26/02/2006 22:35

No encouraging stories but went through something similar with a friend in October who subsequently died, my thoughts are with you. It is heartbreaking x x

misdee · 26/02/2006 22:44

i'm so sorry

Original poster
mummygow · 26/02/2006 22:58

thanks guys - It just doesnt seem real and he just looks as if he's asleep and I feel almost certain that he is going to wake up in the morning!!

My poor friend (his wife) is a mess, they have no children and he cant leave her on her own - she needs him

OP posts:
Flossam · 26/02/2006 23:13

Not what anyone wants to hear but have they discussed organ donation at all? I don't know if it is appropriate in his case, but if the worst does happen had he expressed any wishes? He could be an ideal candidate. No-one wants to think about it, especially when his poor DW will still be desperately hoping he will come roung, but under these circumstances I felt I had to post. I hope you don't mind and you understand why I have said this.

soapbox · 26/02/2006 23:15

Muumygow - this might be entirely the wrong thing to say - if so I apologise

But! If your friend does not make it through this crisis would his family consider organ donation do you think?

I can imagine how hard it is for all of you right now - but if you could bring yourselves to raise the issue it might just help another family from facing the death of a loved one

I really hope I have not offended you -it was not my intention

soapbox · 26/02/2006 23:16

Great minds Floss!

Pixiefish · 26/02/2006 23:17

So sorry about your friend.
A colleague of mine was found in the street in an unconscious state 2 yeasr ago. he was in a coma for a few days. Eventually came out of it. He doesn't know to this day what happened whether he fell, was hit or had a fit and fell or whether the fall caused the fit.
They never said he was brain dead though so I spose that's no comfort to you BUT after many months he has been rehabilitated and about 6 months later he came back to work.

MarsOnLife · 26/02/2006 23:20

I'm sorry to hear your news mummygow. You, and your friends, have my prayers.

MarsOnLife · 26/02/2006 23:20

I'm sorry to hear your news mummygow. You, and your friends, have my prayers.

Original poster
mummygow · 26/02/2006 23:23

Guys have no idea about organ donation - do not even know if it has been discussed - I assume the hospital would approach the family on that subject!

OP posts:
WestCountryLass · 26/02/2006 23:32

I am so sorry that this is happening, thinking of you

Flossam · 26/02/2006 23:39

Yes, MG, you are right. Sometimes though it might be nice for your friend to have someone to discuss these things with, I hoped you might be that person! Don't know your views on the topic, but just wanted to put it in your mind. It may be of a great deal of comfort to his DW to have done this. I am sorry we cross posted SoapBox, we didn't mean at all for you to feel under pressure at such an awful time MG. Sorry.

misdee · 26/02/2006 23:44

i am really sorry MG and dont want to put you under pressure. do give your friend plenty of support whatever happens. xx

Original poster
mummygow · 26/02/2006 23:46

Flossam I completely agree with organ donation but dont know my friends view also I dont know if I would be confident enough to discuss this with her considering what she will be going through at the moment, and It is breaking my heart for misdee that it is something that I know little about, but if anything it has probably made me more aware and it would be something I would bring up in discussion with my friends at present, but I just dont know if I could when it is actually happening to her but as I said on misdee's thread when I am made aware of the outcome tomorrow I will try and broach the subject with a friend closer to the family. I am so sorry if I am of little help - I wish I could make it better

OP posts:
Flossam · 26/02/2006 23:50

you don't have to do anything. I would expect that the hospital staff will discuss it with her. It is entirely her choice, as you say. I hope things go as well as they can and my thoughts will be with you and your friends.

Chandra · 26/02/2006 23:55

The idea of him about to pass away is also a total surprise to you (I have been through that and honestly, as much as I support organ donation, it is not an easy topic to discuss when you are equally surprised about what is going on), so I would leave the organ donation chat to the staff of the hospital who may be better prepared to deal with such delicate topic, but be there to support your friend on whatever decission she thinks appropiate.

Sending you lots of hugs and wish you strenght to support your friend during this difficult time.

RedTartanLass · 27/02/2006 07:18

Oh mummygow What's the news today?

Loobie · 27/02/2006 08:38

Mummygow just saw this this morning,what a terrible place to be,i am so sorry for you and your friend.As was said before please try to take comfort from the factthat he will not be aware and will feel nothing.Donor donation is a wonderful thing when appropriate but totally understand how you wouldnt feel able to bring it up to your friend in this situation,the hospital would usually broach it with the family anyway so maybe already done,i dont think i could discuss it with any friend of mines in the same situation,even though i know how invaluable it is.Hope all is as well as can be this morning and the decision has been made to help atsrt the healing process.

Original poster
mummygow · 27/02/2006 08:50

Hi everyone, tests havent been done yet - last I heard the consultant was coming to see him at 8.30am, he didn't have a very good night - he has developed a chest infection and was sick internally (what does this mean, how can you be sick intenally) - my friend (his DW)is in peices this morning - I havent stopped praying this morning.

His wife keeps beating herself up as he phoned her on Sat afternoon to ask her if she wanted to meet him in the pub and she said she couldn't be bothered going out!

I can't bear the thought of the outcome - feel like I am already talking about him in the past and feel terrible, have to keep reminding myself that we have to have hope.

OP posts:
tissy · 27/02/2006 08:55

mummygow- "sick internally" means that you vomit and inhale the vomit. As he is on a ventilator this almost certainly happened before he was brought to hospital, and would be one of the causes of a chest infection.

HTH

longwaytogo · 27/02/2006 09:00

Don't know what to say except that prayers are with you and the family at this time.

Nbg · 27/02/2006 09:04

Mummygow

Really don't know what to post.

So sorry
Thinking of you and your friend.

Hulababy · 27/02/2006 09:36

Thinking of you and your friend :( So sorry you are all going through this.

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