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Original poster

Parking- a new am I being unreasonable thread

100 replies

MPV · 06/12/2003 11:29

OK, changed name to prevent embarrasment. I work in a office with a small car park. Spaces are allocated on a rota so you get to park one month in 6.

Last time I had a space it was under the building. You park 3 in a line between pillars with the first in at the back, so when they want to go you have 2 people moving their cars. I managed to scrape my MPV down one of these pillars on my last day parking (my own fault- I forgot I'd gone in on a different angle) & did £300 damage to my car.

I now have a new MPV which is a lot bigger than the last one & doesn't fit lengthwise or width in a space. My new space starts on Monday & I went to the people who do the rota who kindly allocated one outdoors on an end to give the extra width.

Late Friday someone came to me with the rota in their hand to say that my space would be ideal for a girl who is pregnant & would I swap for a space under the building!! She is very far gone & having trouble with her hip.. I felt like the biggest cad out, but I said no, explaining that my car was too big to fit under the building.

He went away to ask someone else, but in my head I can hear my mothers voice telling me I'm being selfish & thoughtless, while the other part of my brain says if she's having that much trouble moving around she should have started her Maternity leave (she's got less than 2 months to go till the baby comes).

He came back to say the person behind me has swapped & could I park in their space so she can be in front. (Apparently she COULD still get in behind if I didn't). This will mean reversing up to motorbikes & manouvering around her car when I leave. It's reversing I have most trouble with & it's worrying me sick but I felt so mean I said I would. DH says I should have said no or they'll keep expecting me to compromise. I'm usually really scathing of these girlies who can't reverse or park so I feel really stupid that I can't... Difficult to judge how close you are in a big MPV...

OK, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
janh · 06/12/2003 11:43

No, I don't think so - assuming that:

a) the space behind your front one has an equal amount of room beside it for her to get in and out of the car and

b) she has an ordinary (or at least smaller) car which would be easier than yours for reversing and manoeuvring - though having said that, with your bigger one in front of hers, could she still manoeuvre past it?

Instead of doing it via rota man why not just discuss it with her? Maybe you could take turns or something.

suedonim · 06/12/2003 12:02

Not sure I can actually envisage the parking arrangements - it sounds complicated! But as the company has already compromised with you by allocating you an outdoor space, I'd ignore your dh and be happy to make a nice gesture by compromising to let this lady park.

We also have a new car and parking is a bind until you get used to it but after a couple of shots, it's fine. Perhaps you could practice over the w/end? It seems that more difficult parking is a price that has to be paid for an mpv. There are car parks here where you can only access a few spaces and I know of others where you can't even get inside!

SenoraPostrophe · 06/12/2003 13:17

Very difficult to judge this without a diagram!

I drive a Landrover (sometimes) so I know how hard it can be with a big car, but the kind of manouvre you describe is not usually impossible. I would however suggest that you invest in some long wing mirrors and practice parking! (I find parking in the LR easier than in normal cars now because of the big mirrors).

And depending on the car, I find it harder to reverse when heavily pregnant (the twisting round makes me a bit woozy).

WideWebWitch · 06/12/2003 13:25

Oh, I don't know that I think you're being unreasonable. I think you're probably not actually. I was driving until last Saturday night and had the baby (a big one, as you might know) on Sunday. It was still perfectly possible to drive as normal and I was huuuuge! So I think she's being a bit of a wuss and should be on maternity leave really if it's that bad. Presumably she's got a normal sized car? In which case it shouldn't make that much different that she's pregnant and you with your great big MPV should have priority. I do however think that you should spend half a day or something out in the MPV practicing reversing and various other manoeuvres so you get more confident too. You can't spend all the time you're driving this car being unable to reverse and, as my dad once said to me "we don't learn to drive A car, we learn to drive CarS." I think I poked my tongue out at the time (I was 20 and finding his car hard compared to the BSM one I'd just passed my test in) but he was right. HTH and you're not offended, whoever you are

Clarinet60 · 06/12/2003 14:10

I think it depends on how 'limber' she is. I was huge when pregnant but drove till the end because I'm a bendy yoga-type (albeit with bad hips).
However, I do know people who found it hard to drive past month 8. I suppose it boils down to the fact that she can still drive OK just about, if she has the help of her fellow humans through the tricky bits. If she doesn't get that help, she might as well give up and start mat leave right now. I suppose it depends how much anyone wants her around for the next few weeks.
But with your mpv, I think you need help and certain parking spaces too, and you shouldn't be expected to risk scaping your vehicle again.

BadHair · 06/12/2003 14:45

Sorry, MPV, but I do think you're being unreasonable. Why should the pregnant woman have to start her maternity leave, using up precious time that could better be spent after her baby is born, just because you have a car that's too big for you?

If this is a really big problem for you, why don't you swap your space with someone who would be due to park in a couple of months, when the pregnant woman would have left to have her baby? Or else get a car that you find more manageable.

Jimjams · 06/12/2003 16:16

Have to say my pet hate is people with oversized vehicles in towns who can't park them

Tinker · 06/12/2003 16:25

Have to agree with BadHair and JimJams here. The poor woman wants her maternity leave after she's had the baby. I'd have been livid if someone suggested I leave work 2 months before the due date. Get a smaller car if you can't drive the one you have.

twiglett · 06/12/2003 16:35

message withdrawn

bossykate · 06/12/2003 16:57

perhaps mpv does have a large family and needs a big car! i have trouble parking our punto .

mpv, could you and this woman sit down with the plan of the car park and work out a compromise?

i didn't really understand what you said about gettting to park one month in six - does that mean you have to find a space outside the car park five months out of six? what do you do then? would it just be easier to forego your space this month and next and then get a three month slot in the space of your dreams? or something?

otherwise, i agree with the others who have suggested practice makes perfect.

norma · 06/12/2003 17:02

If you live near the pregnant lady could you offer to give her a lift to and from work until she goes on mat. leave? That way you would save her having to drive with a painful hip, she would probably get more legroom and be more able to relax in your mpv, and you would gain a friend, redeem yourself, and catch up on some office gossip!! Just a thought

bossykate · 06/12/2003 17:08

norma, that is a stroke of genius.

dkdad · 06/12/2003 19:20

What do you do the other 5 out of 6 months?

Nome · 07/12/2003 00:02

I had an extremely painful hip for the last half of my pregnancy - I could feel it grinding with every step I took. I could drive fine, but getting in and out of the car was very difficult. I would have been furious if someone had suggested I stop working because they couldn't park their car. It wasn't my brain that went, but my hip.

I'm also hopeless at parking our new (to us) mondeo after being used to my 205. But practice is helping and there was a thread a while back about passing tests and reversing with great tips for working out where the back of your car is! Something to do with rods...

eidsvold · 07/12/2003 10:52

i do think it is a bit rude suggesting a pregnant woman start her maternity leave early cause someone else has trouble parking their car. This woman has every right to have a little consideration as no doubt the rest of us expected if we worked until well in our pregnancy.

Perhaps she has no choice - she has to work - a consideration and why should she not work as long as she can before the baby is born so she can spend as much time with the babe after the child is born....

and yes I think you are being unreasonable - again pet hate - women who drive big cars/4 x4/mpv's and can't really drive them....

think Norma's suggestion was a good one.

misdee · 07/12/2003 12:24

i hate people in towns who drive 4x4/mpv's who dont need them. i end up slagging them off whilst they try and park in normal spaces. saw one woman one nab a p+t space with no child. when challenged said her large pick up style car wouldnt fit in a normal space. i like 'larger' cars, my cavilier is very spacious and large compared to my metro, and i thought about getting an mpv, but i'm a short person and would have problems getting up into it. my sister has an mpv but then she has 2 disabled children and needs a larger boot to fit all her disbaled buggies in.

getting back to the subject, yes i think u are being unreasonable. when i was pregnant i had to have the door wide open, so i could swing my legs round easily to get up. hip and back problems are very painful at times, getting in and out of a car was very rough on me. but if this lady has a sit down job or one that doesnt play havoc with her hips then she should be working as much as possible b4 the baby is born for the money issue and being able to spend more time with the baby when he/she is born.

victoriapeckham · 07/12/2003 14:26

You are not just unreasonable you are utterly selfish. A pregnant woman should start her maternity leave early just because you want space for your big disgusting gas gussler! Are you for real? Why do you need such a car?

roscoe · 07/12/2003 14:42

I think it's unreasonable to expect someone to start ML early because you aren't good at parking. I would get lots of parking practice. A lot of car parks are empty on a Sunday so perhaps you could try one of those? You will have far more confidence as a driver when you are fully in control of your car. Good luck!

Original poster
MPV · 07/12/2003 15:09

OK, fine, none of you agree with me (I'll keep quiet in future!) Thanks janh & WWW.

I drive an MPV because I have 4 children & they won't fit in a little car. I certainly wouldn't have one if I didn't. Normally I don't have any problem parking, just that it is very difficult to see out the back & obviously I don't want to hit anyone else's car. The pregnant lady drives a small car apparently. I gave up driving (& work) well before the stage she is at... (I don't know how long she has got to go but she is well into the time she could take her leave... it isn't early.. DH says her mobility problems are a fire hazard at work... )

The other 5 months I have to use the park & ride which adds an extra 1/2 hour to my journey on each end of the day. (making 50 mins- 1 hour each way, on top of a FT job). I believe this other person lives in the same town we work in- car sharing really not an option.

OP posts:
roscoe · 07/12/2003 15:28

Are there any mirrors you could buy to improve visibility? I think this thread went off at a MPV/4x4 tangent so please don't take it too personally.

BadHair · 07/12/2003 15:32

"Her mobility problems are a fire hazard"!!! What, she's going to combust because she's heavily pregnant? Or do you mean a fire hazard in the way that people in wheelchairs are? Perhaps you should make sure that anyone who can't sprint out of a burning building is kept out of the workplace, or at any rate the car park when you're trying not to scratch your paintwork.
Quite frankly your attitude stinks. Are you related to Jeremy Clarkson?

misdee · 07/12/2003 15:37

thank u badhair. that was my thoughts exactly when i got to that sentance.
acyually very angry about that, so am gonna shush b4 i get too verbal on here.

misdee · 07/12/2003 15:38

jus because u gave up work b4 this woman has doesnt mean she has to. i gave up 4 weeks b4 baby was due, but 2 weeks of that was booked holiday. i'd hate for someone to tell me to start my ML early.

roscoe · 07/12/2003 15:45

Now I'm confused. Does your dh work for the same company? If not, how does he know this poor woman is a hazard???

SenoraPostrophe · 07/12/2003 15:49

This thread is getting a bit judgemental don't you think? Just because someone lives in a town doesn't mean they don't have a good reason to own an MPV or 4x4. And a diesel 4x4 uses rather a lot less fuel than many family saloons.

Anyway MPV, I take it in that case that Janh's assumptions are correct. In that case I also don't particularly think you're being unreasonable. I do think you should take it up direct with the pregnant woman though to avoid additional problems.

I still swear by long wing mirrors if that doesn't work out!

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