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Original poster

My father in law has gone missing. What can I do?

77 replies

lucy5 · 21/02/2006 16:49

My father in law went to London to visit sil, he has been there many times before. He went out on friday morning and never came back. he is 73 elderly, has had/has a drink problem, has had a stroke and can be confused. My sil only phoned and told my bil yesterday and eventually through a message from Australia we found out this afternoon. Dh's family don't really have good relations and this particular sil has caused us big problems in the past, so we are not sure if she is telling the whole truth. Anyway thats another issue. What I need to know is if anyone has any tips, we have called the police and national missing help line.

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Northerner · 21/02/2006 16:52

Oh god Lucy how awful.

Have no experience of this, but really hope he turns up safe and well soon.

Have you rung the hospitals?

zippitippitoes · 21/02/2006 16:58

How awful..

no tips, was he considered vulnerable person by the police?

Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 17:04

The police werent treating him as vunerable as I assume sil wasnt wholey honestwith them as there are issues over how and who cares for her child but that is another issue. The national missing persons are going to phone police and make sure that they realise he is vunerable and have phoned hostels and hospitals.

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Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 17:15

Also I can't get hold of dh, it's his dad. I dont know what to do, he has a long drive home and I wonder if i should just leave telling him until he comes home. I have my bil here sobbing his heart out.

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Northerner · 21/02/2006 17:17

I think I'd wait till your dh comes home. He can't do anything whilst driving and he'll only worry.

Beetroot · 21/02/2006 17:18

oh Lucy, how awful.

has there been an arguement?
has he a wife?
where are you?

zippitippitoes · 21/02/2006 17:19

I think that is the critical part as other wise it will not be a proactive response..I really feel for you, I hope he is found safe and well.

Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 17:20

Hes a widower, im in Spain so cant really do much. I dont know if therewas an arguement but this particular sil has fleeced him and pressured him into buying her things. Anything is possible with this sil as she is a cold fish.

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cece · 21/02/2006 17:20

dont the Salvation Army help with missing people?

zippitippitoes · 21/02/2006 17:23

Could he just have gone home?

Hausfrau · 21/02/2006 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beetroot · 21/02/2006 17:24

i think you may have to go over..or your dh at least

LadySherlockofLGJ · 21/02/2006 17:27
Sad
Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 17:28

Weve alerted the warden of his flat and she has been in and there is no sign of him. Will have a look n salvation army websitr. I think dh will have to go over just to feel that hes doing something.

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zippitippitoes · 21/02/2006 17:31

Did he know the area well, would he have stayed at a b&b or hotel if he was upset?

If your dh comes over he could perhaps find bank details and that way check if he's used his bank

ScummyMummy · 21/02/2006 18:10

Where does your fil live? Has he ever gone missing before? If he is confused or lost in London he is very likely to be picked up soon, particularly if he's anywhere vaguely central. There are lots of outreach teams and specialist police services out there keeping track of who's on the streets. They will approach new faces and check if they are ok.
Sorry you are so worried- sounds awful for your dh.

Beetroot · 21/02/2006 18:59

is he anywhere near any of us? his house? coudl we pop over? coudl youpost a photo? umm,, not sure i am bieng much help.

zippitippitoes · 21/02/2006 19:06

Are the police actively looking?

Where is his home?

Would he be carrying useful id?

Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 21:29

Thanks all, I am very sad to say that this afternoon my fil's body was found in a lake 10miles away from where he should have been. dont really know any details yet but the autopsy is tomorrow. These terrible circumstances have made it very difficult for everyone to bear. Unfortunately due to dhs bad family relations we are getting the news third hand as only certain memers of the family speak to each other.

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Beetroot · 21/02/2006 21:30

oh my god Lucy. I am so so so sorry. What an awful thing to happen

DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 21:32

I am very sorry to read this Lucy.

Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 21:35

Thanks it's all such a shock.

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LIZS · 21/02/2006 21:36

Sorry to hear that

Hulababy · 21/02/2006 21:38

I am so sorry Lucy

Original poster
lucy5 · 21/02/2006 21:42

The police dont know if its suspicious circumstances , suicide or accidental. I'm praying for dh that its accidental, although his coat was found on a bench nearby so it's not looking good.

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