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Original poster

Who has a DH who works away from home during the week and comes home at weekends??

28 replies

cece · 19/02/2006 22:03

Dh is thinking of changin jobs which means he will be away duirng the week?

What are the pros and cons?

Any views/opinions gratefully received as we can't make up our mind!

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moondog · 19/02/2006 22:06

Mine works abroad and comeshome every 5/6 weeks.
He's done it for 5 years and tbh I am used to it,and manage fine (although flag at about the 4 week mark)

If the money is considerably better (as was ino urcase) it is worth it.Where will he stay in the week?

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:09

He will stay in hotels, the company will pay and they pay his travel too. He will be based all around the counrty, wherever he is sent really, doing consultancy. The money is about the same but he hates his current job...

He is worried that he will miss me and the kids. How does your dh cope?

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ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:11

I would miss my partner too much, I think, and so would the boys. Definitely wouldn't work for us as a family.

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:14

As far as I can work out he might not be away 4 nights a week. It may be only 3 or 2 some weeks and then he would work from home...

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moondog · 19/02/2006 22:15

He does miss them,it can't be denied.
We have a flat in Turkey (where he works now) and i go there alot so it is at least more homely than a hotel,but he has done plenty of hotel living too.

It's hard to have it all.

moondog · 19/02/2006 22:16

That doesn't sound to bad,three nightsaway.

ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:16

Www might be able to advise on your dh on this. She had a contract working away from home during the week for a while recently.

Nbg · 19/02/2006 22:19

My dh works away a fair bit.

At the least he does 4 days every other week 2 of the nights he stops away.

Sometimes he can be away for a week even 2 weeks.

He's done the odd bit here and there since we've been together. I've never liked it. I ould prefer he be home on an evening but needs must. He has to work and thats that unfortunatley.

The Pro is that you will have more MN time though

RedRidingHood · 19/02/2006 22:19

Doesn't sound too mad - my dh was in the RAF and used to go away for weeks - a bit tough with kids sometimes but fun when they're back!

The only thing is to try it. DD just thinks daddy's at work and doesn' bother (she is 2.5) as long as she can talk rubbish to him on the phone at night.

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:26

thanks, the thing is we could move out of London if he took this job and we could afford a much bigger house......

difficult isn't it?

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ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:29

Losing London and my partner during the week both at the same time is a nightmare scenario for me, cece! A big house sounds nice though. Where are you thinking of moving to?

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:34

Devon

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Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:35

I should expalin I am from Devon originally so have family and friends down there.

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ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:36

Big change, then! Are you going rural?

ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:36

Oh, that's good. Was thinking it might be lonely in new place without dh around much.

ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:37

How old are your kids and are they used to having dh around and active in their lives during the week?

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:38

Can't decide how rural to go, we have found a nice house in a village. The school has 32 children in it and there is one shop/PO and one pub.....
But I haven't lived in Devon for 20 years and DH has always lived in cities!

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Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:40

KIds are 2 and 4.

They see him for about 45 mins to an hour and half a day, depending on what time he gets home.

With his current job he goes away every 6 weeks or so for a couple of nights and we cope fine.

I am more concerned that he will feel lonely rather than me iyswim.

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bramblina · 19/02/2006 22:42

My DH has worked away for the last 7 years, Mon-Fri and we both got very used to it, this was before DS. Circumstances meant last year he came home when I was 25 wks pg and went back to the job away when DS was 16wks, it broke his heart. DS is now 6months and we've all got used to it but the weeks can be a bit of a drag, waiting for Friday to come again...but that's probably as I don't work now. He's got an interview this week for a job at home, we both want this but it's a huge drop in £ (probably by50%) but we think it would be worth it. Either it works out or I'll end up killing him...so he's well insured .
But seriously, we've been in the other situation and as I say we're prepared to take a reduction in money just to have time together again, so do think carefully. I guess it depends on how many children you have (DS is our first and if DH gets job at home babe no. 2 will come quicker thn if DH works away. DS is a very good baby but even they are hard work on your own) and whether you work or not. Also if your family is close to you, or if you have a good network of friend as life on a telephone can be really really tedious. Good luck.

ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:42

Wow- sounds like massive changes on the agenda
cece. We're edging towards a period like that too- a few months away from finishing various courses which will allow new jobs/moving house, etc. Exciting yet scary. Really couldn't do the work away during the week thing though.

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:45

Thanks

if we commit to the house move then he will have to stick with the job as he can't earn that sort of money locally. I will give up my part time job and will probably wait till ds is in school before looking for another.

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bramblina · 19/02/2006 22:45

Anothe rproblem I find is that because he's not here for most of the waking up in the morning, meals, bath and bed, that when he does come home I have to tell him everything that needs doing (they get very used to being on their own, don't they?) and then get quite resentful as I feel he doesn't know what he should. Or maybe that's just the hormones talking. Little things do seem to make a big difference though.

ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:46

How long would the job last, d'you think? And would he have any empolyment prospects in Devon if you/he wanted to stop? My kids are 6 and I know they'd miss their dad dreadfully (possibly more than they would me- grr!) if he was away during the week. Wasn't the case 2 years ago and definitely not 4 years ago.

ScummyMummy · 19/02/2006 22:48

You answered my q before I asked it! I think that puts quite a lot of pressure on him, tbh. He'll have no choice but to stick at a job that forces him away from home for at least 3 years. What if the job sucks?

Original poster
cece · 19/02/2006 22:54

Exactly that is why we are worried. He only started his current job last July and he thought it was a good move - it has turned out to be not so great

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