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Original poster

havin a asian botfriend

35 replies

nikki19 · 02/12/2003 01:52

i have a asian boyf and we have a child together and god dam things are so hard espeshilt now its coming to christmas does anyone else feel the same

OP posts:
samACon · 02/12/2003 10:35

whats wrong?

WSM · 02/12/2003 10:40

Troll ?

pie · 02/12/2003 10:40

Can I have a botfriend?

motherinferior · 02/12/2003 10:54

Is it a religion thing or families or what?

bobsmum · 02/12/2003 10:58

Nikki - there are plenty of people here who would love to help and give you some advice, but you probably need to give some more detail.

zebra · 02/12/2003 11:07

Speaking with my usual degree of ignorance, Isn't Jesus a Hindu saint as well as a (minor) Islamic prophet? Don't know what Sikhs make of him, though a holy man is usually a holy man in the East.

I bet you can buy one on Ebay, Pie!!

salt · 02/12/2003 11:15

In that case I'm off to ebay!

motherinferior · 02/12/2003 11:39

Jesus isn't a Hindu saint, but there are lots of Christians in India. I know because my mum was brought up as one. Can't remember where he figures in Islam but he does figure IRCC.

I think my half-Asian dp would like to be a botfriend. I shall suggest it. It would make a change from being the Nice Indian Boy of my parents' dreams.

suedonim · 02/12/2003 11:39

My ds2 has a Muslim girlfriend. Her family have just observed Ramadan and are now gearing up for Xmas! Ds1 has a Jewish wife, they're celebrating both Hannukah and Xmas this year. Is there a precise problem you have?

Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 14:03

well we have been together for 4 years our daudghter is 2 and may i say a little stunner. i have never meet any of his family neither has our daughter they kicked him out whem they told them bout her as for the religous thing he is muslim but i wouldnt say that that effects us at all its just his family. my family dont bother either they are very racist and dont like him cause he is from pakistan even though he has lived here all his life, thats why im not lookin forward to christmas because it will be so horible havin no family around and most of all i think our daughter is missing out am i just feeling sirry for myself.

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motherinferior · 02/12/2003 14:31

That sounds horrible and I'm sorry we were joking. I am very very sorry.

tinyfeet · 02/12/2003 14:35

Can you invite your family to your place for Christmas?

jinna · 02/12/2003 14:40

nikki19 - you must be going through such a hard time - i think you need to remember your love must be so strong for both of you to have given up your families - your daughter will enjoy her christmas if both of you are happy and show her so much love. I love my family and my DHs family, and couldn't live without them- but sometimes the idea of a christmas with just me my DH and our DSs sounds brilliant

motherinferior are you asian?

Zebra - sikhs believe in Jesus and Xmas - infact they will have a party at the drop of a hat - i should know!! :0

zebra · 02/12/2003 14:47

I have a good friend, Sikh, whose family disowned her for something like 9 years after she fled an arranged marriage to live with a white man. Luckily, his family accepted her.

I think in this kind of situation you have to make your own family; I bet you know other people who have no family close by -- could you plan a Christmas/festive gathering with them?

motherinferior · 02/12/2003 14:56

Jinna, my partner and I are both half Asian (I'm the one whose sister had a baby on Diwali). He looks very Asian, I don't!

pie · 02/12/2003 15:10

Sorry I joked about too nikki19.

My mum is English and my Dad is Thai. His family disowned him for some time, they used to only refer to my mum as The White Whore. He just threw himself into his life with us and after his dad died it wasn't so bad with his brother and sisters. I don't really know how he coped with it other then just ignoring it really, my mum never got on with any of them even after my grandfather's death. Sorry not to have been any help.

Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:12

thats ok motherinferior and pie from the lasr message i letf i didnt really make it clear what was goin on i tryed to invite my family over for christmas but they dont want to no

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Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:13

thats ok motherinferior and pie from the lasr message i letf i didnt really make it clear what was goin on i tryed to invite my family over for christmas but they dont want to no

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Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:13

thats ok motherinferior and pie from the lasr message i letf i didnt really make it clear what was goin on i tryed to invite my family over for christmas but they dont want to no

OP posts:
Twinkie · 02/12/2003 16:14

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:15

i no how it feels pie thats what i get called everywhere i go a white whore they say im usless and gonna leave him for someone else bue what do they no eh

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Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:15

i no how it feels pie thats what i get called everywhere i go a white whore they say im usless and gonna leave him for someone else bue what do they no eh

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Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:21

yes i have little brother but he lives with my mom in birmingham and i live in luton so i dont see him much i will try to make christmas special but i still miss everyone

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Original poster
nikki19 · 02/12/2003 16:26

dont you think it will effect out daughter havin no family round her

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motherinferior · 02/12/2003 16:27

Very sadly, I think the only thing you can do with your STUPID STUPID families is to let them know that the doors are open if they want to change their minds at any time (and I think you are being very generous and forgiving). Do you have friends you can get together with and have a really good time with? After all a lot of the 'traditional Christmas' involves lots of rows as well. Maybe if you and some mates thought about what you'd really like to do?

And I know this won't make it all better. I am sure your daughter is completely lovely. I am getting very angry and upset just thinking about it - I don't think either of my parents' families liked them getting together (and my grandfather tried to stop my mother, in fact the rift never really healed) - same goes for dp's family - but they were not as terrible as yours.