Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Am thinking of letting children share a bed, am i mad?

54 replies

SnowmAngeliz · 16/01/2006 10:04

Hi all.
Well my dd1 is 4 and my dd2 is 10 months and i'm due again in September. DD2 has been sort of half in cot and half co-sleeping so obviously not ready to be kicked out yet

It was just a fleeting thought that has been niggling me and iu thought, what if i got a double matress for them to share as they adore each other and snuggles. It would mean also that i could lie down with them and get them to sleep without manically runnin between 3 beds and i just like the idea of shared beds. Some of my happieast childhood memories are 5 of us sharing a bed at my nana's but that could be as it was only once in a blue moon.

So, wise ones, has anyone else done this or if not, what are your views?

OP posts:
Original poster
SnowmAngeliz · 16/01/2006 10:05

BTW, i meantioned it to dd1 and she's all for it. It obviously wouldn't be for ages yet when dd2 is older.

OP posts:
Berries · 16/01/2006 10:12

Mine actually had sep. beds, but pushed them together iyswim. This was from about 4 & 2, to 6 & 4. After that they decided they wanted the beds sep., largely because dd1 is a very restless sleeper & kept taking up too much of the bed. Worked quite well most of the time. Suggest you try it & see, but perhaps get 2 singles beds that can be linked, just in case!

Feistybird · 16/01/2006 10:14

I wouldn't, I'd do it if as you say, the alternative was running between the kids all night, but I would certainly start off trying to let them all sleep in their own beds/cots.

maddiemostmerry · 16/01/2006 10:15

My four sleep in what they call their tent, a sort of den with a canopy on the top. The yougest two, ds3 especially have been terrible at settling to sleep on their own and this does work and all the boys enjoy being together.

I think if you feel it suits you and your family needs then go for it.

lou33 · 16/01/2006 10:17

My boys share a double bed, they love it. First thing they do every morning when they wake up is have a cuddle

Easy · 16/01/2006 10:20

No, I don't think I'd do it as a permanent arrangement.

They may adore each other now, but that may change over then next couple of years, then you've got the problem of one annoyed child poking/prodding/kicking the other when they should be going to sleep.

Anyway, I think everybody needs their own space, including children, and if you can't have your own bed, what is there?
Actually I would regard it as a bit wierd.

lou33 · 16/01/2006 10:24

Some of us may have no choice easy. The bedrooms in my house are not big enough to have single beds with a gap between them, and have room for their toys, and ds hasn't been old enough to go in a top bunk until v recently.

Original poster
SnowmAngeliz · 16/01/2006 10:26

Oh Easy i think that's a very sad way to look at it.
I expected different views but i do actually find someone thinking it as wierd as very sad!
It doesn't have to be till they're 15 or anything but at the moment they're all babies.

Glad to see a few others have and are doing it.
Dp did say about 2 singles pushed toh=gether but i was thinking how comfortable that would be but i guess with padding. Well i hope i get alot more replies as it's very interesting.

OP posts:
Easy · 16/01/2006 11:23

OK so I'm sad and you're wierd.

Quits then

misdee · 16/01/2006 11:26

dd1+2 shared a bed for a while, dd2 hated being by herself. they did have seperate room but she slept better when in with dd1, so we bought a small bed for her in there.

JonesTheSteam · 16/01/2006 11:28

My sister and I slept in separate beds, but they were pushed together (until I left home at 18!).

Sometimes, I did think it would be nice to have my own room, but as my gran lived with us in a three-bed house, there was no chance of that.

TBH, I loved it! Much nicer than bunk beds!

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 16/01/2006 11:29

I would definitely do it. In fact I think having a sibling to sleep with is the only way we will ever get ds out of our bed at this rate. I have read that siblings who co-sleep don't fight so much and are closer as they grow up. Seems like a lovely thing all round to me - they will soon tell you if they want separate beds. I don't like sleeping on my own and I don't think many adults do either - yet we expect children to like it (or lump it).

JonesTheSteam · 16/01/2006 11:32

I agree Franny!!!

My sister and I are very close now. We did fight quite a bit during childhood, but there was a six-year gap between us, which now we're grown up isn't quite so obvious.

My DD is always saying that she is sad about having to sleep on her own. She thinks it's not fair as I get to sleep with someone, and I think she would love it if she had DS in the same room as her!!!

lionhearted · 16/01/2006 11:33

I loved sharing a bed as a child, it worked in my family (had to, there was no space otherwise)--sounds like a great idea ...

acnebride · 16/01/2006 11:37

Remembering Lizzie and jane bennett in same bed talking under the sheet - best thing about recent p&p film IMO. Good plan.

Aloha · 16/01/2006 11:40

Easy, do you sleep alone?

PrincessPeaHead · 16/01/2006 11:40

mine do it on holiday quite happily - in a double bed in the room next door etc - the only small bummer about it is if you have a child that still wets the bed periodically. changing double bed sheets in that situation is a complee pain and inevitably wakes the other child. and so they ALL end up in your bed instead, which can be a little crowded...!

serenity · 16/01/2006 11:43

We have a triple bunk bed (double futon at the bottom) and DS1 (nearly 8) and DS2 (5) sleep on the bottom bed. Neither of them want to sleep on the top (now that's weird!) so they share instead. At the moment their biggest wish is for me to let DD sleep with them too, but she's too much of a pita at the moment!

DD sleeps in our room, as we only have a 2 bed room flat, but when she's a bit older she will be in with the boys and will have to share with one of them. Over and above that fact that I wish we had a bigger place, with a garden etc I'm not worried about them sharing at this time.

Easy · 16/01/2006 11:47

Since you ask aloha, 5 nights a week I do (not that is relevant, I'm an adult and can choose).

And I can remember having to share a bed with my sister on odd occasions as a child, and absolutely hating it.

What's so wrong about encouraging children to appreciate their own space?

Original poster
SnowmAngeliz · 16/01/2006 11:50

and what's so wierd about them being affectionate with siblings?

As i mentioned in my second post i did ask dd1 who was well up for it. She doesn't like sleeping alone at the minute.

PPH, i never thought about that one. Big bath towels i think

OP posts:
Original poster
SnowmAngeliz · 16/01/2006 11:51

I suppose maybe we all go on our own experiences as a child Easy, if you hated it i can see why you hold your views.

OP posts:
Aloha · 16/01/2006 13:13

What's so wrong about teaching children that it's nice to have a cuddle with a sibling? Most of us adults share a bed with someone and this doesn't seem to make us too unhinged, not 'appreciating our own space', does it?
Just because you hated it doesn't mean Angeliz's children will. They actively seem to want this.

Aloha · 16/01/2006 13:15

And I do think it is relevant. Why is it so important that children don't share a bed, but OK for you and me? I really don't understand.

noddyholder · 16/01/2006 13:18

I think its odd to think its odd IYKWIM Not everyone has the space for 2 beds It is a nice idea and they will let youknow when they want to stop

harpsichordcarrier · 16/01/2006 13:19

sounds lovely
I would do it until one or other of them don't want to anymore
yes I shared a bed for a long tim with one or other of my sisters. to be honest it wasn't always clear who slept where and whose bed was whose esp at weekends
I loved it
certainly of all the things about being a big family in a small house, this was one think I never heard any of us complain about.
one loo now that wasn't so great

Swipe left for the next trending thread