GP has just diagnosed Littlemad with Autism, on an appt about sinusitis

[LizaTarbucksAuntie]

Littlemad is down with a virus.

Against my better judgement I took him to the Doctors this morning (recently a doctor at this practice refused to accept me saying I was stressed not depressed and sent me away to ask my husband what he thought)

Anyway, GP pokes a digital thermometer at littlemad who rightly (in my opinion) goes 'what are you doing with that?'

Gp says: Does he ALWAYS behave like this? I say no, he's poorly this is out of character...he says hmm and he made a fuss about having his eyes tested didn't he? Have you had any tests done on him? His implication was littlemad has behavioural problems although he then refused to say what sort of test he meant...

I bristle a little to be fair and say no Gpd says, but he's very 'difficult' isnt he. Now Littlemad is a darling and fairly quirky, he's very bright and gets quite focused on things.

Neither he nor I have slept much for the best part of a week.

Now I'm not going 'he's so perfect he can't possibly be autistic' but there is a time and a place for having a conversation of that kind and it's not:

1. the first time you have met us
2. During a consultation about SOMETHING else
3. APPROPRIATE UNLESS I'VE ASKED FOR YOUR ADVICE

Am very cross.

really, very cross, if I wasn't so tired I'd be dangerous me :)

Yanbu.

That is one shit GP.

Our local GPs are crap, so I do feel your pain.

Either he is a shit gp or you are downplaying the behaviour he displayed. If it's the former I would have just said something like - 'I don't have any concerns regarding his behaviour when he is well and not having stuff shoved in his ear but will, of course, take him to any tests you think are necessary'. Then you take him to see the specialists and if he has no issues they will confirm that. I really don't see the problem.

Sounds like the doctor has little experience of children is he newly qualified ? If what you have described equates behaviour problems then I think that a lot of children must have problems. Littlemad just sounds confident to me and not afraid to let the doctor know he was not keen. If all tests prove negative suggest a child management course to the GP. IF doctor older and wiser perhaps he has a point ?

Liza, I think you're really tired and have had a shock from the GP which has knocked you for six.

IMO, I think you should turn off MN, have a cup of tea and get some rest.

In a few days when DC is better, see another GP perhaps and put your mind at rest. If s/he says the same thing, yes take your DC for testing. No harm in that.

But really - for now, cuddle up and get some rest until this all settls in your head, OK? Having to debate an issue on MN when you haven't had a chance to absorb it yourself is just not good for you.

There really is no need for the FFS liza - yes really thats what strikes me as a possibility or I wouldnt have said it. You have said your child is quirky etc - you will know your own child better than anyone and know what you mean by "quirky".

It won;t be the first report he ahs seen for your child- there will be HV reports etc he can access: might be worth asking for a copy of his file?

I do think YABU to use word autism in your title: I recognise most of the ASD parents and a LOT of them are on here. A mention of autism in AIBU usually means we have to pile in to either help a poster or defend our children- this was neither, which is odd.

But do sit back and just think, have a look at the triad of impiairments and read it widely- eg for social difficulty think too outgoing as well as stereotype withdrawn.

And if you still feel no link be assured you will not get a dx. Heck, you can refuse a dx.

But listen anyway to what GP says: ds1 was diagnosed with ASD in 2007. We fought like buggery for that DX- one now proven by time to teh extent he is blessed enough to have a rare place is a speiclaist HFA Base within a mainstream school. Six months later Nursery called us in to talk to us about 3 year old ds3 who got a DX of autism a few eyar's later- he is pretty severe and we did not have a bloody clue until someone pointed it out.

Anyway he's 5 right?

What do school say? not that theya re experts either but ask them.

Completely out of order . The whole "diagnosis (or not)" thing is SO random it's ridiculous. I taught an 8 year old for 9 months and FOUGHT the whole time (with his mum and dad's full co operation and support) to get some kind of AS diagnosis so he could get the appropriate classroom support and thereby help me and the rest of his poor class. The ed psych said he was just "immature" and everyone had to just deal with him, poor little sod :( And yet this idiot thinks he knows his son better than you do after a GP appt. Bah!

Listen to Peachy, OP.

I think the reason people think that there's a possibility there could be an issue is because there is no way a gp could refer every child who is a bit reluctant to be examined for behavioural tests. The gp has obviously seen something to warrant a referral. It may turn out to be nothing but I think it would be wise to find out.

I can really understand why you are feeling wibbly about this. You go in for one thing and now your being sent for tests for behavioural problems when all he did was seemingly behave like any other 5 year old. When I took my son for his first every flu jab he screamed blue murder and twisted himself in a corner sobbing. Given that he injects himself 4 times a day this did seem a bit extreme. The GP couldn't do anything and in the end we had to see a nurse who had the common sense to let DS2 do his own flu jab.
You know what I would do, I'd mention this to the school. If his teacher greets this with an incredulous - oh my god how stupid are they. Then that's your answer. If, however, there are looks exchanged and some shuffling and a more shall we say placating answer then possibly your 'quirky' son who is 'focused' (and I have one of these and he is autistic) may have some problems and you should go along with the tests. As mothers we sometimes don't see what is in front of us. I didn't and my eldest has a load of stuff going on. However, he is the nicest, kindest and lovliest son in the world so personally I think every home should have an autie!

Have a big cup of tea. Get some kip. Hope your son feels better. DS2 is ill at home today as well. There are some really nasty bugs about.

got to go cook lunch before DS2 lands on floor or in hospital.

ariesgirl did you read any of the posts on the thread apart from the OP?

Try not to take it to heart ,he has probably just done the recognising autism course and got a bit carried away .

I think you need to get access to your son's notes too. The GP was reading those notes wasn't he? So he has not said this just because your ds refused to have his temp taken (and tbh I don't understand why the GP couldn't take his temp if your ds just moved his head? Is that all your ds did? And then the GP just gave up?) but from what he has read in the notes.

You are within your rights to request a second opinion. You can also change GPs. I would ask this GP what evidence he had that your ds has behavioural problems. You need a proper chat with him and your surgery should be able to arrange a phone chat.

On the face of it, no a little boy's refusal to have a thermometer stuck in his ear/mouth does NOT constitute behavioural problems. Did you read about my kids? But if this GP was like that with every child that came in, then there would be an awful lot of children from your area being sent to have 'tests'.

You need more information.

"Are all of you honestly saying - and I take on board the point about putting words in the GPs mouth about Autism - that if your GP suggested behvioural problems the first time he met your child because of a refusal to have their temp taken you'd go, oh no that's fine....?"

Nobody is saying that. What everyone is saying is that they wouldn't instantly go frothing beserker over it, raving about non-existent diagnoses that never happened.
Mountains and molehills spring to mind. If you think you have cause, make a complaint. But try to make it more factual than you have here, or you will get much the same response.

I think squeakytoys post from 12:49 is spot on

I think it shows you may have a very good GP - he obviously feels there is something about your child that requires following up. You may not see it that way but there are lots of parents begging their GPs to refer their children and the GPs refuse!

I don't understand why you used "autism" in your title? Why would you assume he meant that and why would you say he was DX with autism by a GP when you knew that was incorrect and misleading.

Sorry, but you sound defensive to me.

I have a son with ASD and know how long and frustrating the diagnostic process is. It's not something to talk about lightly!

if I took my NT 4 year old to the doctor, and she behaved in such a way as to give the doc cause to think she had behavioural problems then yes, I might listen.

a 5 year old, no matter how ill and grotty feeling, knows what is likely to happen at a doctor's - temp taken, looking in ears/mouth, listening to chest etc. I would expect a 2 year old to panic and have a wibble, but not a 5 year old (well, not to the degree that the doc thinks there might be an issue - I fully understand reluctance to comply, and shyness of strangers etc)

did your ds really not know what the doctor was about to do? dd2 has only seen a doctor a few times (probably about 3 overall), but would know about tking temp etc as we have played doctors endlessly at home (she is 4).

doctors (ime) do not tend to suggest referrals and tests unless they ahve cause to. in fact, it can be very hard to be referred on for these.

if your ds' behaviour was extreme enough for a stranger to comment on it, then I think you might want to listen. your ds will not be the first child that gp has ever seen, and he will have come across ill and grumpy children before.

"Are all of you honestly saying - and I take on board the point about putting words in the GPs mouth about Autism - that if your GP suggested behvioural problems the first time he met your child because of a refusal to have their temp taken you'd go, oh no that's fine....?"

I'd go along with it and take the assessment because it doesn't hurt! It wouldn't bother me at all. If I felt they were wrong - having an assessment is no threat, and if I thought they might have a point - an assessment can only help.

It would be a no-lose situation for me!

The gp suggesting this - and from the information given, he's gone waaaaaay OTT, but that doesn't matter - is in no way an insult to your child, or a criticism of you or anything for you to be annoyed about, unless you feel that disability or behavioural problems are a criticism or insult.

Do excuse me - perhaps I've missed some earlier revelation - what is littlemad - is it a nickname or something? Does it actually mean anything?

OP, from your posts it seems the GP has read something in the notes about your DC, and picked up on something similar during the appointment. So i think you are being unreasonable to be annoyed with him- in his opinion he thinks there is something that ought to be checked here. So i think it sounds like he is being a good GP.

Does nobody think her GP should have explained things fully to her?

I'm not sure I have any real confidence that this whole situation happened the way it did so no point trying and convicting the Dr on the evidence presented here is there?

I'm really sorry, I've clearly caused offence and trust me, that's not my style at all.

I am defensive because there is an assumption that I'm not telling the whole truth, which is not the case.

I can take on the chin the fact you may have the impression that I think disability or behavioural problems are a criticism or insult because I accept I've not expressed myself well on this thread.

I've got a feeling it doesn't matter what I say now there are people who have me down as a raving frothing bigot who thinks anyone with SN should be locked up.

This was a post about shit people skills from a GP, the second expereince at that practice as it goes. It was not intended as a post about how awful it would be if littlemad is either Autistic, ends up with any SN dx. That's what got me so riled and defensive to be fair because that's exactly the opposite of what I am. (ill judged moments aside)

Oh yes, rhubs. the situation as described by the OP presents a GP who has not been very professional at all. Or sensitive.

But she's got nothing to fear from an assessment and no reason to not have one done.

ime, if you refuse them, they go on and on and on and write all manner of crap down about you far better to say well, I think you're wrong, but if you want to waste nhs resources, you go ahead.