have you loved or regretted getting a dog?

[layla]

This question goes out to people who didn't really want to get a dog but kind of had their arm twisted by family and went on to get one.Did you regret it or love it when you didn't think you would.It's not that I don't like them,it's more that I don't like the mess and the hassle of taking them for walks and feeling that I'm never alone in my house.But the kids would love one.

Me, me, me!!! We got a dog because my ds was despeate for one, when he was a teenager. They are a tie and, maybe it's because ours is a Cavalier King Charles, but she fawns and simpers and attention seeks, which drives me potty. (No doubt I'll get told this is down to bad dog-parenting!!). I much prefer cats, less in-your-face than dogs and when this dog is finished I doubt we'll get another. Anyway, gotta go now and walk the dog, not forgetting to take the doggy bags for any poo!

Dog owner here who didn't get her arm twisted - but did twist my mum's when we were young!

First of all, how old are your kids? If they are young (like not old enough to take the dog for walks by themselves or nip down to the local shop in the evening to buy dog food when you realise you've run out) then I don't recommend it. As you are the mum, you will end up doing most of the tedious day to day stuff when the kids are at school or can't be bothered. This includes walking at least once a day, feeding, training, buying food, taking to the vet, cleaning up messes - this includes when you take him out for a walk as owners nowadays are expected to clear up after their dogs have pooed. If you don't really want or like dogs, then you could grow to really resent your pet and your children for burdening you! This is horrible for everyone, especially the poor dog.

If however, your kids can be trusted to do the things I listed above most of the time, then get one. This is when we finally persuaded my mother to give in and get a dog and although she will say (truthfully) that even then, she ended up doing most of the caring for Bella (especially after we went to university, remember, dogs live to be 12-16 on average), she grew to love the dog more than any of us. She was devastated when she eventually died, as she had been a constant, affectionate and amusing presence in our home.

It is a big decision to get a dog. They are dependent on you in a way that no other per is. Please consider carefully when you make your decision. Dp and I got our current dog before we had kids and although he is very sweet and wouldn't hurt them, he is very neglected at the moment (2 year old and 2 month old). The guilt you feel is unbelievable!

Regretting it. It was my and dh's decision (before we had children) - we felt sorry for the dogs in the dog shelter, thought it would be good security, and thought it would make us take exercise by walking it. I suppose all those reasons still hold good (except we're not very good at actually doing the latter...), but it is a pain when you go on holiday (especially just for a weekend, when you could leave a cat with dry food and a catflap but have to arrange kennels for a dog - not the cost I object to but the hassle), and the dog is constantly there, in the way, pestering me. Mind you, it does clean up under the high chair well!! But having had ds (now 2), it is not really compatible since the level of attention each needs is huge and long walks whilst possible (offroad pushchair/bakkpack) are not toddlers idea of fun or at least can't be relied on to be. Probably won't get another. Or at least would get a smaller one (got a collie - ds definitely prefers things about spaniel size). But then I don't like small dogs. On balance, it was a bad idea. I'm stuck with it for now, but when she goes (she's about 8) probably won't be replaced. Sounds really callous?! Just being honest...

Back from our walk now - the bl%dy thing tripped me up, didn't it?!?

In all honesty, Layla, I would say that if your heart isn't in it, don't get one, no matter how much the children beg.

OK, I wanted one though dh was the one who really really wanted one. I love her to bits, she is 2yrs 9 months and dd is 14 months. It is hard work but gets you out in the sun (or rain) and keeps you fit. We have a dog walker for the days that neither of us can do it, or dd's nanny takes her out sometimes with dd.

IMO they are a bit like kids, hard work and change your life but worth it.

I have a horrid 'dog bashing' (not literally)story. My Mum has a little wire-haired Jack Russell called Trevor. He's a fab little fella and is great with the kids (usually). Anyway, we recently spent the weekend in Wales at my Mums house (me, DH, DS1 & 2, DD). On the Sunday My Mum, DS2, me and DD were sat in the living room watching tv. In saunters Trevor, casual as you like and sits on the floor in front of DS2 (who was eating a bag of crisps). DD (14mo) hopped off the sofa where she was sat with me and made her way over to Trevor. I think she must have made him jump as he turned around and attempted to bite her face It was exactly how you imagine a dog-mauling a toddler to look, I was frozen to my seat, my brain was screaming but my body wouldn't move. It all happened in slow motion for me. DD was TERRIFIED and screaming (understandably). We managed to get Trevor off her and she was ok, bruised and shaken but no broken skin. After a bit of a cuddle in the sofa with me she soon calmed down and within an hour or so was shouting 'Helloooooooow' at Trevor through the patio doors (he was now chained up outside), so there seems to be no lasting phobia for her (I'm another story). I know that he didn't mean to hurt her and that if he had he would have done a lot more serious damage, JR's and all terriers are known for their locking jaws and shaking of 'prey', he would've undoubtably killed her . It just really made me realise that you never can trust a dog, no matter how 'good' they have been with children in the past, they can 'snap' at any given moment. It frightened me so much I can't begin to tell you. I'm just glad DH didn't see it or he would have kicked the living sh*t out of the dog. As a result I would never eber have a dog around my own (or anyone elses) children.

Thanks for being so honest about it and telling me like it is.Really must put my foot down and say no but feel a bit mean-it's their childhood after all.Maybe when they are old enough to walk it I may consider it again.
Your post made me laugh Suedonim,your first one I mean-hope you didn't hurt yourself.I just know I'd regret it and feel so guilty about it if we did get one.Anyway they are expensive too.I'm sure Id be the one taking it out for walks.I really didn't want a hamster either,not knowing anything about small animals.But one day dh just came home with it plus cage and food etc-when it stayed with us for 3 months before a tragic accident killed it and there was me devastated and in tears for ages folks.
This is interesting reading for me-thanks for all your posts.

Sorry should've broken that up into a paragraph or 2, make it easier to read !

Ooops
FineVintage
Formerly WSM

Our posts crossed Finevintage,how utterly scary for all of you.I so agree you never can completely trust any dog.The other day my son went into someones house where my daughter was playing and got bitten by their dog unfortunately.And fortunately wasn't hurt just shocked and they had young children,it makes me wonder how it is with them.

DD had horrid little round bruises just under her left eye and under her chin where Trevor's teeth had been pressing on her skin. She still has some of them and it has been over 9 days

So as a result my house is, and always will be a dog free zone. Having experienced that, I can never take the risk again.

Poor little thing FV.Does your mother want to put the dog down now? I know someone who had their dog put down when it just started getting aggressive with her granchildren.

How horrible FV and Layla. Fortunately my dog has never even looked at a child in a funny way (yet) let alone snapped at one. She does get this sad hunted look on when dd starts playing with her ears etc, but just gets up and walks away when she's had enough. I do think (don't want to start a row here) that big dogs that are brought up to be soppy (ie lots of cuddles, lots of kids around, lots of treats and generally treated like one of the family) are safer around kids. I also think that dogs should not be left alone with young children as they can't be trusted (the children or the dogs)!

I don't like dd playing with terriers at all as they are bred to fight and bite and snap (though I know there are loads out there that are lovely etc). I just don't trust them.

Equally I see parents c**p themselves as my 45kg mini horse bounds up to their beloved offspring wagging her tail - I don't blame them and I always call the dog to heel and then ask the parents if their kids would like to stroke the dog, then sit her down and they stroke her gently and everyone is happy.

BTW FV LOL @ your mum calling her dog Trevor!

No, through it terrified me we agreed that it wasn't an intentional attack on DD. It's a bit of an awkward situation to be honest as Trevor belonged to my step-sister who lived with Mum & Stepdad up until her death from liver cancer a few months ago aged 25. As Trevor was Sarah's dog I could never demand that he was put down (it would upset SD too much), unless he had done malicious damage. We've just agreed that Trevor will not be in the same vicinity as DD.

In my fantasy life I'd have 6 dogs, or more! All big with one little one - a Jack Russell. I have a dog atlas (!) at home and have turned the page on all the dogs I wouldn't mind owning. When I lived with my ex we had a boxer and a JR. Fab, fab, fab. However I did used to moan about taking them out all the time and tried to get out of it quite a lot! We had to put a lock on the inside of bedroom door to stop them bursting in all the time and they used to lie outside and sratch door and whimper if we didn't get out of bed fast enought for their liking at the weekend - a right pain in the backside!

Must admit that our ridgeback comes onto our bed (on a blanket) on weekend mornings. I love the 4 of us being in bed with the papers (dd usually shredding them)

I have at least 3 dogs in my fantasy life in huge rambling rectory with big boot room and massive warm kitchen with real fire in it. Sob.

Trevor came from a family we know and we saw him with his mother etc. Though my Mum lives on a farm he has never been a working dog. It's just so odd as he has sat and allowed DD to stroke him many a time before without so much as a growl. DD was not alone in the room with him, there were 2 adults and my almost 10yr old DS2 there too. Trev had never posed a prob before and has always been a family dog and so we didn't feel that there was any tangible risk, if I had then there is no way that she would have been within 10 feet of Trev.

What a coincidence to see this thread... picked up our puppy yesterday! DHs idea- he grew up with dogs. This is our 3rd attempt. Had a collie when the kids were small- bad mistake- had to have him rehomed at 7 months because he kept biting the children (he went to a farm with no kids). Attempt 2 was a wonderful, gentle Belgian Shepherd who sadly developed epilepsy which got worse & worse until we were advised to have her put to sleep. That was 4 years ago & DH has been desperate for another dog. I've kept saying no , for the same reasons others have outlined- mainly the tie when you want to go out.

This one is a Ridgeback (LOL Drac!). Last night she cried every hour & 1/2. I made DH go to her each time (he wanted a dog!) but she still woke everyone else. Any tips for tonight? (We're crate-training)

FV- I think what happened with Trevor is that he was sat "in his mind" waiting for the food your ds had, DD came near and he treated her like a subordinate dog without really thinking. Not trying to defend him just trying to make you feel better if you can see why it happened, would completely agree not to trust him with small children but Im sure he hasnt turned into a monster and will be fine with grownups. Some dogs tend to not really see very small people as being human and treat them like another dog.
Would agree with CD that bigger dogs (except collies/gsd's) tend to be better with children as less "snappy". I would trust our lab that even if a strange child stuck a pencil up his bum, he wouldnt bite them, but our little dog I shut away when kids have friends round as less tolerant.
hope your dd is better soon

Interesting - this has definitely put me off getting a dog (keep being sorely tempted by the idea). Had been worried about the mix of dog and small child (15 month old) - see that I was right to be cautious.

Will stick with my gerbils!!

talullah, how fab to have a ridgie, the bestest dogs in the world ever ever ever!!

Where did you get your pup? Dh and I have just been looking at photos of ours as a pup and snivelling at how cute she was (she still is!)

Ours cried at night for a couple of weeks, we kept getting up and getting her out of her crate for a wee/poo in the garden and then playing with her for ages to try and tire her out. Then I read that if you just take them out and put them straight back in the crate without talking/playing they go straight back to sleep and it worked! Hard though not to play with such a cutie!

My main advice would be not to let them get away with anything dominance wise as puppies and they will grow into docile animals. Take to puppy classes and buy the Rhodesian Ridgeback book, plus a great book called "The Perfect Puppy" which tells you all about the dominance thing. And keep them calm.

Best of luck!

I got my dog to keep my daughter company as she was probably going to be an only child.She is a Beardie and has a wonderful temperment so no complaints there.However we now have 13 month old who is allergic to the dog ,so I do regret getting her.I also find I don't feel as affectionate towards her since ds was born.I do feel guilty but can't change the way I feel.Dd still loves her though