do you let you children open their presents as they see relatives? advice needed

[emily05]

all of dh relatives and a couple of mine want ds to open his presnts when we see them over christmas. Nobody ever bothers visiting us, so we have to ferry around. so ds will get the majority of his presents on the 26th, 27th and 28th of dec. He will have about 10 presents on christmas day (mainly from us)

How do I explain this with regards to father christmas? does father christmas leave presents at everybody elses house for ds? what do you all do with regards to presents? are the ones you get your children the only ones they open on christmas day?

Hope that this makes sense x

I also have no problems handing of my chosen presents to people for them to open themselves on Cjristmas morning. I don't worry about not seeing them open them - seeing them later in the week/month and getting thanks on the day, etc is perfectly fine with me.

Different ways of doing things. I just try anf fit in with whatever works best for the families I am buying for.

dd knows that real people buy her some of her presents (not sure if she will open those when the grandparents visit on Christmas Eve).

She then has her Father Christmas presents in her santa sack on Christmas morning.

I think it's important for them to know that her rellies buy her presents so that she can thank them properly.

You know, Hula and I must have had exactly the same upbringing, as we agree on so many things. Thanks Hulababy, you have said what I meant further down the thread.

We are always so alike, Sorry about that, because apparently I am rude, for wanting my ds to have his Christmas presents on Christmas Day!

tortoishell - ok so you don't do Santa, that's fair enough but for the families that do who want to keep a little of their own family traditions going please don't make your comments in front of our children. it can spoil the magic. to say i am grasping is quite offensive really. ds1 knows that mummy/grandma whoever buys his presents, then they are sent to santa who delivers them for us. we list who gives what and send thank you notes to everyone, so everyone gets acknowledged, and we do visit close relatives over the holidays to take these notes. My point is that christmas day, to me, should be a intimate thing, just dh, myself and the kids. Ok, if you get on so well with your extended family members that you feel it's fine and dandy and lovely for the children, go ahead and drag them around visiting everyone, people that for us, the rest of the year we don't see. Our family isn't that close and we all do our own thing anyway, tbh it wouldn't bother us not to receive gifts for the kids as they don't know these people anyway. When family visit us they seem to use it as an excuse just to catch up with each other, not to see us or the ds's. Ok, maybe i've got got crappy inlaws and bil's etc but that's how it is here. my mum pops in for 10mins on her way out to see the ds's and unwrap gifts etc and my bro who has a dd likes to spend the day at home with her. my fil visits and will stay for hours and hours, not taking any notice of the kids, just slagging off dh's brothers who for some unknown reason all hate him - we'd rather they didn't come at all - not just at christmas.

so before you call people grasping etc please take a minute to think that maybe, just maybe, not all families are as lovely and cuddly as yours.

Ok, I didn't say you were grasping at all. I don't think it's rude to want your child to have presents on Christmas Day. I don't give a toss whether you do Santa or not, we did as children, have decided not to for our children, clearly I wouldn't tell anyone else's children anything, it's entirely up to the parents.

All I said was that if I had bought a present for a child, and the parents of the child got annoyed with me because I wanted to give it to the child myself, or God forbid, come and visit at the same time then I would think that a bit rude. And I do think it's weird to pretend all the presents come from Santa. And ds WOULD NOT COPE with all his presents on Christmas Day.

I didn't use the word grasping, but I was called a humbug. Which I am not.

And fine if you want Christmas Day to be intimate, no-one's forcing you to see your family at all. Most years we don't see them on Christmas Day because they live too far away.

Where exactly did I say you were grasping? Just reread the thread, can't find it! Maybe that's because I didn't say it!

This is very interesting. We do like tamum - just the stocking with little presents is from santa. Everything else is under the tree, which will include the main present from us. this year I was puzzling though about whether to include the big present with the stocking - because I honestly can't remember how we did it in my family when I still believed in father christmas. I've decided not though - but I might change my mind next year....
For those of you who have ALL presents delivered by FC on christmas eve - where on earth do you keep them all beforehand? And what about parcels that arrive in the post? Ours just go under the tree as and when they arrive.

I think I did actually mention that DS knows who his gifts are from, all he is told is that a jolly fat bloke delivers them while he is asleep. As we were told as kids - just keeping up the tradition.

Also, so far, with birthdays and Christmas DS tends to open 1 gift then play with it for hours before going on to the next one. Last year he still hd a couple left to open when he got up on boxing day.

Our DS wouldn't cope with being dragged round visiting people he hardly knows in the few days that DH has got off work. So why do it?

How about we just say the usual each to their own thing. What's right for one isn't usually right for another is it? We are all different and all want different things out of life and not just Christmas.

Everything is in the loft apart from things in progress are in the airing cupboard. I have been in and out of the loft regularly ove the last few weeks.

Ours are in the loft and are being transported to the summer house later to avoid any disturbances on christmas eve

LOL Easy. I figure that at Christmas everyone should jut celebrate int he way they want to, and really not worry about what anyone elses doing just cos it is different. Different upbringings mean different ways of doing things. Where's the harm?!

There is NO WAY I am going out visiting on Christmas Day. And, unless circumstances change ( a parent left alone, etc.) I don't want ony relatives visiting us on the Day either. This is our one day in the year which is just for us and no one else. We spend most of our weekends with family and/or friends. And we spend pretty much every other day over the Christmas period with them too. Not Christmas Day - that's ours. We drink from breakfast (so couldn't drive) and don't want the hassle of entertaining. Works for us

What a fascinating thread. How differently everyone does it!

I am jewish so did not do Christmas at all when little (though we have our own Hannukah traditions). But DH is Christian so when I started dating him, we spent christmas with his family each year. They have certain traditions - some we have kept and some not. IN his family, Santa filled the stocking and also left some presents under the tree. Some presents were also from relatives, friends etc. They were very very strict that no presents be opened until Christmas day. They were both teachers so there were always tonnes of presents under the tree from the kids in their classes too.

We have decided on stockings filled by Santa and also a single other present left under the tree from Santa. All other presents are from us (or other poele who have left them). Presents go under the tree from as soon as the tree is up. DH is still very strict about no presents being opened until Christmas day. However, if someone visited and really expressed a wish to see them open the present in advance, I am sure he would not be rude about it.

This has not been mentioned yet on this thread, but I also hate the sort of "grabbiness" I have seen in some famlies on Christmas morning with the kids ripping in to the presents. In DH family (and we have conintued this), presents are not opened until after everyone has had breakfast and got dressed (though stockings are fine as soon as you wake up). And we sit together and everyone gets one present at a time and we all ooo and ahhh over each one before handing out anymore.

This year, Hannukah falls on the same day as Christmas. So my dss will open christmas presents in the morning and then we will be at my mother's house for Hannukah tea at the end of the day. They will open Hannukah presents then. So, in some ways this spreads it out. But I prefer on the years when Hannukah and Christmas do not fall at all together as it can be spread out a lot better then.

Hula, you drink from breakfast???

I would be unconscious before lunch!

Oh, I totally think everyone should be free to do Christmas as they want - what I was thinking about was if I was a relative or friend of a child, and parents seemed to get annoyed with me for wanting to visit and give the child a gift myself - ok, not to want to have your Christmas Day interrupted, but I don't think it's unreasonable to want to give your gift yourself. And it needn't interfere with your tradition - you can just say that the relative didn't have Santa's address.

I just felt that I would be hurt if people got annoyed with me for wanting to visit to give their child a gift. Not trying to dictate to anyone what to do with their Christmas. Don't think that makes me a humbug tbh!

My parents don't let anyone open any presents until tea time, except for one present (children only, to keep them busy if they wake up early) at the end of the bed in the morning. The presents go under the tree on Christmas Eve (the tree only goes up on Christmas Eve anyway). Then there is a very civilised but rather long present opening session. Now we have grown up we don't always see each other at Christmas so it's nice when we visit each other close to Christmas to share presents there and then. We have never "had" to visit people on Christmas day itself - we tend to do a couple of days over Christmas, and often a Boxing day minor party. I wouldn't say my family is lovey dovey, but I do enjoy seeing them. Of course it is each to their own, but I am sure we all think (in general) our way of doing theings is the best Oh, and just as you get annoyed if other people tell your children that Father Christmas is a load of rubbish (not that I would) I get annoyed when other people try and pump my children with all the Santa stuff.

That's true nooka, when you meet someone in the street, odds on they say to your child 'What's Santa bringing you?', which is quite annoying.

I don't mind that so much, it's when they start going on about milk and biscuits and footprints and stuff that I get irritated! o)

I'm interested to see that at least two other people grew up in families where they had to wait for the main present opening until after lunch. I'd always assumed my rather austere delayed-gratification family was unique in that respect! Not a tradition I aspire to keeping up....

My inlaws came over from the US to see DD so we had a whole early christmas day celebration complete with presents. It was good otherwise DD would have had twice as many pressies to open on sunday and it can all get a bit much.

When I was wee we'd always have most of our presents around the tree - but from relatives elsewhere if we were visiting them some time over christmas we'd be given them and open them then.

We didn't have to wait until after lunch - we'd have a pillow case (stocking) filled with stocking fillers at the end of our beds. Then we'd have presents from the tree after breakfast, dog walking and paddling on the beach, putting the turkey in the oven, tidying up were all done, usually about 11.30 - midday.

I had freinds next door who's mum only let her girls have one present an hour throughout christmas day and boxing day. We always thought it was torture!

We tend to do all our present opening at about 4.00 in the afternoon - it's just too much of a rush in the morning when we've got to get the kids dressed/breakfast/ready for Church, and then I'm rushing round cooking dinner. So it tends to be late afternoon, and we do games between each 'round' of presents - so all open one present, then a game like everyone has to think of a Christmas song and sing it (our children are very little, so that's about as sophisticated as it gets), then open another present. Obviously it only works at the beginning because everyone has different numbers of presents! The present opening seems to last about 3 hours though.....and then it's time for tea!

My children get stockings and presents from Santa and a (usually small) present each from dh and me. This goes back to my childhood when my siblings and I wondered why our parents didn't give us a present when everyone else was so my parents had to start joining in too! Presents from relatives/friends go under the tree as they arrive by post, etc providing they are wrapped up robustly enough to repell curious toddlers or else I put them away and put them under the tree on Christmas Eve. If we are visiting or visited by relatives/friends over the holidays presents are exchanged and opened there and then. And I'm afraid it is one big present-opening-fest as soon as they get up!

I agree it is interesting to hear how other families do it - had never heard of Santa only giving stockings until I read it on Mumsnet!

As we speak dss are visiting in-laws (I got a day off)
They received, and opened, presents. Ds1 is regaling the gathered clans with excerpts from the Guinness Book of Records, and ds2 is continuously having to be dragged away from his new books to be sociable.

When granny asked for Christmas suggestions we responded with these books, and some other possibilities. (They both got other stuff too - DVDs/toys, etc). If granny didn't get to see them opening the presents, she might not believe how much they genuinely enjoy getting books as presents. But having seen their reaction, she will not hesitate to get books another year, if that is what we suggest.

LOL Janh! Of course. When we get up Dh makes us both a cup of tea ad DD some juice. We start opening presents. And once the tea is gone the first bottle of champagne is popped. Lovely!