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Original poster

driving to work... how long is acceptable to you?

39 replies

rey · 12/12/2005 13:21

DH just been offered a job which will mean driving for about 1hour-1hour&10-15minutes depending on traffic. He says we have to move nearer. I don't want to. So MN, my question is what do you think is acceptable for travelling to work by car?

OP posts:
merrycompo · 12/12/2005 13:22

Nothing over an hour

Hulababy · 12/12/2005 13:24

I drive 40 miles each way, and it takes me about 55 minutes to get there and 1h15-1h30 to get home. But I only have to do this 3 days a week, and leave work earlier than average, so no longer hit heavy rish hour (mostly). Still find it a bit too long though as it feells like wasted time.

Pre DD I used to do a similar length journey with took me 1h30m each day. 5 days a week. I eventually left the job as it got too much.

WigWamBam · 12/12/2005 13:26

It takes my dd the best part of an hour to drive to work, sometimes as long as an hour and a half. He's been doing it for 18 years and although he sometimes gets fed up with it, it's never really been a big problem. It hacks him off sometimes that he has to get up at a much more unearthly hour than some of his colleagues, but we're happy where we live and he's happy to put up with the driving.

If you're happy living where you are then I personally think that an hour is acceptable - but I also think that as it's him who is going to have to do the driving, you should take his reservations seriously and really discuss what it's going to mean for both of you if he takes the job.

mancmum · 12/12/2005 13:26

I feel for him -- that is over 10 hours a week unproductive time...and if the traffic is heavy it could be even more... how doyou feel about him getting home late each night knackered after work and a drive... I think it is a lot to ask... as I know how bad I feel when I drive a lot...

WigWamBam · 12/12/2005 13:26

(That'll be dh ... as dd is only 4 it's hard to see her driving to work)

TreeFuses · 12/12/2005 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 12/12/2005 13:26

my dh has a 2hr journey to work and 2 hrs back, 5 days a week

LadySherlockofLGJ · 12/12/2005 13:27

My DH does an hour and 15 there and an hour and 15 back, he finds this Ok but only because he is frequently up in the city or elsewhere on business.

And every so often it gets too much, so he works from home. He plays golf in the morning and works like stink in the afternoon, his boss knows about it,and is happy about it.

coldturkey · 12/12/2005 13:27

My DH drive 90 miles to work and it takes him about 1 1/2 hours or two. There are quite a few other families I know that do that.

nailpolish · 12/12/2005 13:28

he drives for 30mins, leaves the car and gets a train which takes 90mins and then he has a 10 min walk

he can do some work on his laptop on the train so he says its not entirely wasted, or he can kip

i dont think i would be happy him driving 4 hrs a day

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 12/12/2005 13:29

I used to have to get 2 buses to work, one and a half hours each way. That was way too much.

Now I drive and it takes about 40 minutes.

Dh has driven up to 2 hours to work and with this current job he is picked up and sometimes driven up to 3 hours to get to site. And they don't pay for travelling time!

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 12/12/2005 13:29

That's an idea! Could he not ask for some kind of travelling allowance? That might take the sting out of it somewhat.

Original poster
rey · 12/12/2005 13:32

I do need to hear your experiences. I don't want to move because we will be leaving behind all that we love, and with having children no family but good friends it all helps in all sorts of ways.

My worry is that he will find it too much so NAILPOLISH, how is your dh after 2 hours has he been doing it a long time?

OP posts:
GingerBearingGifts · 12/12/2005 13:32

I used to travel 35 miles to work 5 days a week. It took me 50mins - 1 hour 10 mins depending on traffic. I hated it. Heavy rush hour traffic, accidents, bad weather.
Now work 5 miles from home - 10 minutes tops and the only hold up I have is if I am stuck behind a tractor. The additional 2 hours per day have made an enormous difference to my life.

Not to mention the additional cost of fuel, car servicing, tyres, milage on car etc.
And my contribution to global warming is less.

The most I would travel to work would be 30 minutes.

Original poster
rey · 12/12/2005 13:35

Ah nailpolish answered my question already!

COLDTURKEY how does your dh find it has he been doing it for long?

OP posts:
nailpolish · 12/12/2005 13:38

my dh has always been great at getting up in the morning, so thats ok (he gets up at 620am) but he finds it hard at night, esp just now cos its dark. (he gets home at 730pm)

he is very tired at times, but he comes in and takes over bathtime for me and reads the stories and puts them to bed, bless him

then i make his tea and we sit and chat

on a friday he makes an effort to be home at 6pm which is BRILLIANT

he IS tired more than not i have to say, really although he pretends hes not, i think

i miss him very much at times

he used to do a lot of work at home when he got in, but now he does it all on the train, which is one thing i suppose

marialuisa · 12/12/2005 13:45

I did a commute that was approx 1h 15 min each way for about 6 months (and have to confess I was going well over the speed limit to get it done that quickly). It was hellish, esp as I had to be in every day, but am still pretty sure that was more to do with hating the job than the travelling. I now have a 30min journey to work and life is much better!

TBH, if he thinks you'll have to move then that's your best indicator. My DH hates driving and whinges about a 30 min commute, my dad used to quite happily drive for over 2 hours each way...There's nothing more awful to live with than a reluctan commuter!

spruceylucy5 · 12/12/2005 13:49

My dh drives about 40 mins each way and also has to sit in the border queue which can be anything from 20 mins to an hour and a half each way.

Janh · 12/12/2005 14:02

DH had a 40-mile commute for the last few years, across (well, around) Manchester - it wasn't too bad as long as he left v early in the morning and a bit early in the evening, but obviously much less of a strain in the summer and subject to no snarl-ups on M62 (M60 as it is now).

Like WWB, we are happy where we live and with the kids' schools so moving was never an option.

maZebraltov · 12/12/2005 14:14

We moved house so that DH could cut a 45-60 minute commute to 5 mins, I guess that tells you which camp I'm in; I think commuting is awful. I have no idea why people are willing to waste their lives that way. I know a lot of families with young children where the dad drives > 1.5 hours each way to work; madness as the families could move but find reasons not to. I really don't get it, how little the children see their dads bothers me a lot.

Furball · 12/12/2005 14:16

My Dh has just over an hour to work everyday. He gets up at 6.30am and gets home at 5.45pm. It's a long day. We are at the moment thinking about moving up to somewhere around the next motorway junction, so I'm not too far away from my friends but he is that little bit closer.

nailpolish · 12/12/2005 14:17

zebra, its a hard decision to make

we lived much much nearer dh's work about 6 months ago, but we missed our friends and family back home so we moved to be near them at weekends, evenings etc, even though it meant dh would have the 4 hr a day commute

saadia · 12/12/2005 14:38

Well I spent almost ten years travelling from home to office - it was a 1.5-2 hr journey each way on average - public transport took around the same time.

Looking back I can't believe I did it for so long BUT, I wasn't married then and didn't have kids, so that does change things.

paolosgirl · 12/12/2005 14:55

I sympathise - it often takes DH an hour to get to/back from work, although it's usually though volume of traffic. I've just heard that my team are moving next year, which will mean I'll also have an hours commute. I'm seriously wondering if it's worth it. I used to do that length of commute many years ago, and hated it - and that was before the kids and the childcare pressures

PeachyPlumFairy · 12/12/2005 14:57

DH used to drive 1.5 hours each way to work, with 2 kids at the time, one with AS which meant sleep was a foreign object. It was a contributory factor to the depression that nearly cost his life,as it meant he was doing an 18 hour day in total. Depends on length of working day though, (and petrol affordability!)