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Original poster

41 weeks PG and family won't stop calling

29 replies

Pennies · 06/12/2005 12:21

The title says it all really. They ring every day and it is doing my head in. This happened with DD1 and I told them that it was annoying but here they are, just over a year later doing exactly the same thing, despite me asking them to leave me alone. I know they're worried about me and stuff but it's not as if I'll call them up in a few weeks time and say 'Guys you'll never guess what happened last week, I had a baby" - of COURSE I'm going to tell them when things start. having them call me each day to see what's happening is just pointless IMO. It also makes me feel under huge pressure to produce, and I've got no control over that.

Anyway I sent an email in the small hours to this effect and have had a pretty p'd off reaction (along the lines of "be like that then"). Am I being selfish?

OP posts:
Roobietherednosedreindeer · 06/12/2005 12:25

No you are not being selfish at all. Who cares how they feel - you're the one who's pg and needs some stress-free peace and quiet. They'll get over it!

jinglinggoblin · 06/12/2005 12:25

no. not selfish but i think you are taking it the wrong way! they are probably just a mixture of excited and concerned. you could always email them back, saying you are getting very tired and the phone calls mean you cant get a proper rest and you will call one of them at a certain time and after then everyone can call that person for an update. would that work?

SantaClausFrau · 06/12/2005 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fennel · 06/12/2005 12:27

you have my sympathy i was late twice and IMPOSSIBLY bad tempered about it.

i am sure they are just trying to be supportive.

but i just stopped answering the phone, told them i'd call them when there was any news.

jinglinggoblin · 06/12/2005 12:28

on second thoughts. go with santa fraus suggestion, much better

Original poster
Pennies · 06/12/2005 12:30

I tried to put it like that when I emailed them this morning. This is what I wrote:

"...At the moment I'm having real problems sleeping - it's 5.15am now and I've been awake for over two hours. This is a pretty common pattern and means that either I'm knackered all day as a result or I have to switch off the phones and catch up on sleep during the day which often results in another rubbish night, so I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't! It doesn't help that L has a bad cold and is waking in the night too. Net result is that phone chat is not a great medium for me at the moment as I am terribly irritable and have a tendency to snap. Come the evenings once L's in bed I'm too zonked to do much beyond eat and go to bed, and I'm not really up for chatting on the phone. I do check email regularly (in the small hours, mostly) and also my text messages.

I completely understand that you guys need to hear from us about what is happening, and we will tell you when I get admitted into hospital and try and give you as much notice as possible. I'm sorry if this approach offends or frustrates - it's just that I end up feeling horribly guilty if I snap at people on the phone and that doesn't help anyone."

I spent ages composiing that so I wouldn't offend them, but still they get the huff.

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Original poster
Pennies · 06/12/2005 12:31

Am soooooo tempted to do the answerphone thing! Not sure if I have the guts!

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Glitterygook · 06/12/2005 12:31

Unplug the phone - I did, it drove me mad.

I still unplug the phone at night now - I've got enough to do and I'm shattered and the last thing I want is people ringing me for a chat. Humbug.

jinglinggoblin · 06/12/2005 12:32

theres nothing there to be offended by pennies, dont worry about it. you could always put your dp/dh on phone duty and he can do the calling (but still keep the ban on them calling you)

hotmulledwinemama · 06/12/2005 12:32

You are not being selfish - your family/friends are being pains in the arse!

They all do this no matter what we say - but just lose it with them and blame it on pregnancy hormones.

lunarx · 06/12/2005 12:33

unplug the phone (leave a mobile on if you have on just for emergencies though.., unless they're ringing you on that too...), or put on an answering machine.

hotmulledwinemama · 06/12/2005 12:35

Just remembered what my sis did. She changed her answer phone message which basically said "If you are ringing about the arrival of X - then we will contact you when he arrives - if you want anything else then please leave a message etc." This did the trick as she was so pissed off with people ringing.

Roobietherednosedreindeer · 06/12/2005 12:35

MIL always does this - I think we get uptight about it largely due to the pg hormones though. I remember when dd's due date came around thinking 'I bet MIL calls to see whether I've gone into labour' and sure enough ...... grrrrrr

Glitterygook · 06/12/2005 12:38

Oh yes, have mobile to hand if phone is unplugged then you can answer whoever you want to and ignore others. And you can still be contacted in an emergency. I always have my mobile with me at night when I unplug the phone. I'm a miserable cow.

1980cat · 06/12/2005 12:45

I ignored the phone, have bt caller display so I could check who was calling. Even got to the stage I refused to answer the door one day which got everyone even more worried as they though something terrible had happened so didn't really have the desired effect.
People will understand and forget all about it when they baby arrives.

SantaClausFrau · 06/12/2005 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hub2dee · 06/12/2005 13:18

Time to put them all in their place, pennies ! Sounds like they might also be, ahem, 'a bit keen' after babba comes home too...

Take control: Change the answering machine message (on both landline and mobile) to say 'no news yet. We'll call when we have news. Leave us a message', and get the answering machine to kick in after zero rings (ie immediately). Divert your mobile to voicemail. Put your feet up, and go and scoff some pineapple or have a kip, LOL...

When the baby comes, update both messages, and outline when you do / don't want visitors !

Good luck !

motherinfurrierfestivehat · 06/12/2005 13:28

I left a Very Firm message on the ansaphone from about 38 weeks of pregnancy with DD1!

Would have done the same with DD2 but she'd already put in her appearance.

Original poster
Pennies · 06/12/2005 15:13

Hub2dee - that's the odd thing. Based on previous form for DD1 it will be almost impossible to get them to help out or come and see us! Had to argue with my dad to get him to come to DD's first birthday because he wanted to go to a mate's BBQ instead. I just don't get it.

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hub2dee · 06/12/2005 15:29

LOL... maybe this time they'll feel differently and be breaking your door down to see the babba ?

I specialise in rude notices for the front door, and highly recommend them... something like 'New mother and baby resting. Do not disturb. No visitors. At all. Thank you. '

Original poster
Pennies · 06/12/2005 15:31

I wish I had your attitude! Simply haven't got the guts to do that, lily livered soul that I am!!

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awayninahmanger · 06/12/2005 15:34

well I wish my family would call

fruitful · 06/12/2005 15:43

Alternatively, call them at 4am a few times, to say "just keeping you updated - nothing happening!".

Or perhaps every 20 minutes during the day until they beg you to stop?

Original poster
Pennies · 06/12/2005 16:17

fruitful, LO. Sooooooo evil!!! mwahahahaha...

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Original poster
Pennies · 06/12/2005 16:17

LOL, I mean!

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